Contemplating Suicide
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Contemplating Suicide

This is a discussion on Contemplating Suicide within the Suicide forums, part of the Suicide Forums category; I am a 17 year old Junior in High school. I recently was kicked out of my old school, a ...

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Old 10-02-15, 09:24 PM   #1
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Unhappy Contemplating Suicide

I am a 17 year old Junior in High school. I recently was kicked out of my old school, a private Christian school, when my ex girlfriend told the administrators that I was abusing substances. Not only did it kill me inside that she told on me (I really cared about her, she was one of the only people who ever really showed me affection and understood me) but it also killed me because afterward, I was viewed as the bad guy by everybody. Now, I am in a new school, with great friends. But, I am heavily abusing substances. I drink whatever I can get my hands on, including lean and alcohol. I sometimes smoke a lot of marijuana too. My grandparents are about to the point of giving up on me due to my poor decisions, and my acting out against them and acting like a maniac when they question me. I have struggled with depression for a while, and I have seen many therapists and a psychiatrist and have taken meds, but I can't seem to get straight. I really want to end it all, I don't know how yet, but I have ways. I hope I don't come off as attention seeking, but I really just want somebody's help. I want to know two main questions:

1. Why am I the bad guy?

2. Why do I suffer so much?

3. Will these hard times pass?

Last edited by Forest; 10-03-15 at 09:10 AM.
jdswolf is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-03-15, 08:08 AM   #2
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1. Most people want you to not use substances, live a "normal" lifestyle, and be kind and cooperative. If you're not doing that, they'll call you bad.

2. If you're using, and people think you're bad, you'll get stressed, and then you'll want to use some more. This is a very simplified explanation, and I'm not going to try to do therapy here. But your issues could be very complex, and ought to be explored. I've been in therapy for more years than you've been alive, and I still haven't got it right.

3. My experience is that the suffering DOES go away -- but it doesn't stay away.

Please don't hurt yourself. You'll just end up unconcious, and things could get a lot worse for you afterward.

It's terrible that your XGF turned you in. She probably thought she was helping. But getting expelled didn't help anybody.

I've been on meds and they haven't done much for me. But I do do therapy.

What do you call fun? Try to do some of that. That might help.

Pat

Last edited by Forest; 10-03-15 at 09:24 AM.
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Old 10-03-15, 09:58 AM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jdswolf View Post
1. Why am I the bad guy?
Cause drugs are bad, mmmmmmkay?

Quote:
Originally Posted by jdswolf View Post
2. Why do I suffer so much?
Any time you have an addiction, your life will suffer. It has to do with the fact that half the time your the chemicals in your brain are not sufficiently provided, because that's what chemical addictions do. When you introduce exogenous chemicals to your brain, then it stops producing it's own of that type (usually feel good chemicals), and then when you don't have your fix, you are going to suffer. This is true of masturbation and pr0n addictions too. They release chemicals in excess amounts while doing them and then it becomes incredibly difficult to stop.

The only way to stop suffering is to go to rehab. I would say try and stop on your own, but the chances of that working are slim to none. It would require godly self control. Once your brain learns to start producing the right amount of pleasure chemicals you've robbed it of through conditioning it that it didn't need to make any more, then you'll feel good again. As good as you did as a little kid before you started messing with drugs.

Quote:
Originally Posted by jdswolf View Post
3. Will these hard times pass?
Yes, if you get help. If you don't seek help to eliminate your drug problem, your entire life will be absolutely demolished and destroyed before your eyes. Any chance of a happy future and a family or any hope will be torn away from you.

It's all your decision, the only question is will you take the first step and call?

866.949.7195
https://thetreatmenthelpline.com/?70...FYpufgodBrEMBA
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