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constant suicidal thoughts

This is a discussion on constant suicidal thoughts within the Suicide forums, part of the Suicide Forums category; I didnít know where to post this as I am new here but as I do talk about suicide I ...

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Old 02-08-13, 06:04 AM   #1
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I didnít know where to post this as I am new here but as I do talk about suicide I thought I would post it in here. Truth is I think about suicide almost constantly and I wish to die. I have attempted suicide once but I really donít want to put my family through something like that so try to just get by in whatever way I can. It is quite hard at the moment and I currently donít work or study because of my problems. I get disability support and I am on medication but I donít think they help as much as I hope they would as I still feel really low.

A lot of the time, especially recently I donít see a way out of this black cloud. I feel so useless and think I am a failure. I see other people living their lives but I am just stuck in this rut. I really want to die. One thing that I like and kind of still enjoy is football (soccer) but even that interest is not like it used to be. I want to be better but at the moment canít see it happening anytime soon. Just wondering if anyone can relate or anyone else into football (soccer) like me.

thanks for reading anyway
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Old 02-08-13, 06:26 AM   #2
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You say yourself that you don't study or work and I'm assuming that leaves you with a lot of free time. Free time when depressed leaves you too much scope for thinking. A depressed person doesn't tend to sit around thinking about fun and holidays, they think about regrets, pain and sadness. Too much time can be your worst enemy.

Okay, filling your time won't stop you being depressed but it might just distract you from the suicidal thoughts. Depressive thoughts tend to go around in circles and they feed themselves. I too have obsessed about suicide in the past. There is that saying that goes something like 'The worst torture is being locked in a room with your own mind'.

Finding ways to keep your mind occupied would be a very good idea. Also, finding reasons and the means to get out of the house would be a good idea. When you spend all your time surrounded by four walls the illness almost hangs in the air. A change of scene can work wonders. Particularly if you can take the time to see some beautiful and magnificent places. Sometimes little glimpses of nature, of fresh air, warm sun and green grass can have a marked effect on your mood.
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Old 02-08-13, 07:19 AM   #3
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thank you for the reply super147. I take your advice on board. I do also have social anxiety which makes putting myself out there and going out in general quite hard but I understand how a change of scenery could help. I find the actual doing part hard and am stuck in a vicious circle at the moment.I am trying to break out though and am hoping to attend some groups and also try to get into some part time work to fill my time in future.
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Old 02-08-13, 09:27 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by super147 View Post
You say yourself that you don't study or work and I'm assuming that leaves you with a lot of free time. Free time when depressed leaves you too much scope for thinking. A depressed person doesn't tend to sit around thinking about fun and holidays, they think about regrets, pain and sadness. Too much time can be your worst enemy.

Okay, filling your time won't stop you being depressed but it might just distract you from the suicidal thoughts. Depressive thoughts tend to go around in circles and they feed themselves. I too have obsessed about suicide in the past. There is that saying that goes something like 'The worst torture is being locked in a room with your own mind'.

Finding ways to keep your mind occupied would be a very good idea. Also, finding reasons and the means to get out of the house would be a good idea. When you spend all your time surrounded by four walls the illness almost hangs in the air. A change of scene can work wonders. Particularly if you can take the time to see some beautiful and magnificent places. Sometimes little glimpses of nature, of fresh air, warm sun and green grass can have a marked effect on your mood.
This is excellent advice.

i just want to add that if you can't find work, then try volunteering. Sometimes helping someone else, we help ourselves.
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