I've been through the long nightmare of depression, I've tried to take my own life and I've lost several people along the way. So there's a couple things I'd like to share that might be helpful to some:
-Life is hard and life's unfair. It's a constant struggle. Depression and suicidal thoughts make every day unbearable. There's a better way though. Not better as in suicide, but as in you can pick an aspect of your life to work at. Even if it's something small. Start achieving progress and soon you'll be tackling bigger things. The tiniest amount of progress is still better than stagnating.
-There are many crappy people in the world. Oddly enough there are also a lot of decent ones. All you need is one person to reach out to. ONE. Take a risk with a friend or a family member, a cousin or a work colleague, even an online gaming buddy who you may never meet. Open up. If they reject you then they aren't the right one to help you. So move on.
I spent the first three quarters of my life in terrible company with people who brought me down and made me miserable. It turned me into a wreck, but one day I met someone who I took a risk with. He saved my life and became my best friend.
-You can try to medicate yourself in several ways. You can use every excuse in the book. But at the end of the day you're the one who is in the best position to change yourself. Let go of the fear and the doubt and all the negative self-assumptions for a while and you'll realise how much they're holding you back. Who you are now is not who you have to be. Change is possible. I'll post a brief summary of my experiences at some point in the relevant forum to attempt to give some credit to my words.
Take care people.