I now have 9 months of recovery and I thank God for it. Over 6 months free from suicidal thoughts. I am in love with life. I have come to realize I cannot set anyone free from Depression. All I can do is tell my story and try to give hope to each and every one of you who still struggle with the demon of depression. I can tell you that it is not a hopeless battle. It can be won. I have no magic recipe that will make it all go away. Even though we are depressed at no fault of our own, mental illness has something in common with an addiction, you have to fight your own battle with this illness.
Each and every one is responsible for their recovery. You have to become your greatest fan. Encourage yourself every day, never giving up; you must have a can do attitude about life. Realize you are not perfect, and you will never be. Go easy on you when you mess up. Always forgive all offenses by others; even if they do not deserve it. Forgiveness is for you, not them; your resentment only punishes you not them. Holding onto to a grudge does not punish an enemy, but you hate causes pain to your soul which can grow and fester year after year until you become a prisoner to your anger.
Depression causes negative thinking. It will always tell you that you are worthless; you do not deserve to live. Go ahead and kill yourself because no one will miss you. It is all lies. Depression is a compulsive liar and it will never tell you the truth. The best thing you can do is to be mindful of this by acknowledging the lie, and let it go. It is like talking to a compulsive liar; you let them tell their tail and you go about your business.
If you are troubled by constant suicidal thoughts, do not be afraid of them. The thoughts can be very troubling and feel very uncomfortable, but they cannot kill you. You have the power to say no to them. Only you can hurt you. With time you can learn to replace these unwanted thoughts with positive ones, it will take time as you learn to love and care for you. Whatever you do, do not give up. Your life is worth fighting for.
God does not make junk. If you are reading this, let this sink in. Your life has value and you are here for a purpose. Do not let depression or anyone tell you different. No one, except God can love or care for you better than you. Think about, if you do not love and care for you, you are powerless to love and care for anyone else. Please treat yourself gently, and give yourself all the love and support you deserve. Be your own best friend.