(scroll down for tips)
Summary of my life so far:
Grew up with a good childhood. My family were quite well off so i got alot of toys. My mum has borderline personality disorder so it was a bit hard; she used to hit me and my sister a bit too but that's stopped now. My dad was the best dad ever. He wasn't too hard but he wasn't too soft either and he was pretty much the only friend i had to a friend when i was little. My parents were always working so i had a nanny to look after me. She then became like a mum to me because my real mum was quite hostile when I was little.
When I was about 6 I started getting bullied because of my weight and because I had no friends. I think it was this that caused me to mature quite early, anything a teenager goes through, I went through when i was 8. I went through phases of being gay to being a total tomboy and cutting off nearly all my hair at just aged 8 and 9. I am now 15 and in my last year of school. I have got myself a nice little circle of friends who are very loyal and very understanding. The bullying has died down now but before that it drove me to trying to commit suicide.
A week after I tried to commit suicide I was admitted to a psychiatric hospital. I did as they asked and didn't rebel because they gave me no reason to. Until a few months later, when I found out they were lying to me. For example.. I was admitted to an acute/assessment unit and they told me I was going to be transfered to a less secure unit when there was a free bed, and I was told that I was top of the waiting list. Then a girl was admitted a few weeks after me and went to the less secure unit before I did. I was anything but pleased to find that there had been alot of free beds, but I had been kept in the acute ward regardless because thats what they had planned as part of my treatment. After that I locked myself in the bathroom for hours (even though the checks were once every half hour) and ran away numerous amount of times.
After one incident, i got in alot of trouble and was given a caution by the police. I could have been charged but the family involved decided to drop all the charges. Anyway, it made me think about what I was doing to people and that everyone hated me for what I was doing, so I decided to agree to my treatment so that I could be discharged as soon as possible.
Things that helped me:
Distraction - Just focusing your attention on tv rather than thoughts
Talking to doctors - Not even about feelings. Just about everything that you are unhappy about in your life and let them deal with your problems.
Try and percieve things in a positive way - It's hard to do, but if, say, birds are chirping and you are seconds away from strangling them.. just try and hear them differently, if done correctly they'll sound pretty and relaxing.
Go cold turkey - Whether you're addicted to drugs or self harm, going cold turkey is the best solution in my eyes. Don't even think of reasons why your giving up. Just get rid of all temptation, surround yourself with people and find a distration.
Elastic band - My art therapist taught me this. If you get thoughts of self harm or suicide, wear an elastic band on your wrist all the time, and whenever you get the thoughts, twang the band quite hard. Your brain, in time, will associate the thoughts with badness.
Object - I forgot what this is called but its a bit like meditation. It helps if you're angry or anxious. Keep an object, that is special to you, near you all the time. Whenever you get bad feelings look at the object and think about your connection with it. This will help to calm you down.
Things that didn't help me but may help you:
CBT: Maybe it was just my doctor, but CBT to me just appeared to be someone commenting on everything i'm doing wrong and then shouting 'TREAT YOURSELF' at me.
DBT: ARGHHHH! Didn't help that my DBT nurse was such an insensitive cow but COME ON! do they really expect you to stop self harming by just telling you to stop. Sorry but no. Anyone I know who has gone through the whole of the DBT treatment has looked and felt better, i have to admit. But a the same time, they all just seem brainwashed. Like, the way they talk about treatment just seems like they're reading from a script that someone else wrote.
Meditation: This did help sometimes but other times I would just get really tired or couldn't concentrate.
This does help.. for someone who doesn't have depression! Now that I'm recovered, I can see what they mean. But when I felt crap, whenever I showered it just felt like a chore which I HATED doing.