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This is a discussion on I'm getting better within the Success Stories forums, part of the Resources category; Hi everybody, I've been getting significantly better over the last year and a half, it's pretty amazing. I reached a ...

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Old 09-28-10, 11:37 AM   #1
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Hi everybody,

I've been getting significantly better over the last year and a half, it's pretty amazing.

I reached a second low point in my life 2.5 years ago when my wife left me, followed by losing my job a few months later. I was lost, confused, frustrated, and quite hopeless.

I've been able to get back on my feet. Slowly, one inch at a time. I got a job, I got health insurance, I got therapy and psychiatry, I got income, I got my spiritual life in order, I got fulfilling and rewarding hobbies ...

I also got a couple of girlfriends (not simultaneously), and the experience made me realize that I don't need a woman to make me happy. Sure, I can be happier with a female companion, but I don't NEED it. What I NEED is to take care of myself. Identifying what *my* needs are, and taking steps to fulfill them.

And about spirituality... Once I let go of the confusing, conflicting, and frustrating Christian dogma, things slowly fell into place. I still believe in a spiritual dimension to the universe, and I believe in some kind of "Higher Power," but I'm able to see logical flaws in every religion I've looked at so far, and I'm okay with that. I don't HAVE to believe something that doesn't make logical sense. I won't die or burn in hell or whatever. On the same token, I can also explore other aspects of spirituality that might not necessarily have agreed with the Christian dogma I had adopted. Nature can have spiritual power in and of itself. Maybe divine powers aren't perfect. All human religious teachings are fallible (including sacred texts). That kinda thing.

I'm learning how to manage my own sexuality. I'm no longer bound by the Bible verse that says that looking at a woman with lust is the same as committing adultery. I see an attractive woman, I can look at her. Politely, of course. I can think about sex, and fantasize about someone or something. As long as it's not a "sick" kind of fantasy, and something I would actually want to experience. I allowed myself to look at porn, and I had the self-awareness to determine that it's not for me--it's addictive and destructive. And just like I've let other similar things in my life go, so it is with porn. It's not good for me, and I don't need it, so I can just let it go. Masturbation is a healthy outlet for my sexuality. If I need/want visual stimulation, there are plenty of swimsuit models who are willing to oblige, without sending me into addictive behavior.

The mental attitudes that used to bring me down are fading. Thoughts like "I'm not good enough, I'll never be good enough, I'm a failure, I'll never be happy, I'll never get anything I really want" .. they've all been refuted at a high, "attitude" level, and they're replaced by reminders that I am in fact capable, and then I can just do what I need to do.

Depressed feelings are fading. I'm weaning off of antidepressants, and my mood is barely suffering. My thinking is clearing up, my feelings are returning (good, as well as bad), my sexual function is returning. I feel more like myself again.

Bottom line, the depressed feelings are fading. I don't have anything to be depressed about anymore! My life is really good. It's going in the direction I want it to go in, and I'm confident that I'm gonna get to where I want to be. Or maybe I won't. But that's okay.. whatever happens, I can handle it.

Thanks everybody.

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Old 09-28-10, 03:54 PM   #2
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Good to hear man. Congratulations. I won't hijack your thread, but I'm also getting better, the weight is being lifted.
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Old 10-05-10, 11:27 AM   #3
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Bottom line, the depressed feelings are fading. I don't have anything to be depressed about anymore! My life is really good. It's going in the direction I want it to go in, and I'm confident that I'm gonna get to where I want to be. Or maybe I won't. But that's okay.. whatever happens, I can handle it.
WOW, u indeed have reach a height...Happy to hear u.

Good luck!
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