I confused by something that happened to me at 3 am this early this morning by a person. Was I giving my roommate a okay because I text him that few words? About " Are we doing any thing or are we just going to sleep than??" Is what I texted my roommate.
This early in the morning around 2am I think. It was fault because I asked in a text to my roommate if we are doing anything? Or would him n I are going straight to bed at 1 am ?
My Roommate Enters my room ; No words spoken
Gets on top my body at the same time he has already removed his briefs which were grey with light white mini stripes and black band around the hips .
Asked him "Which if my mother wakes up?" I ask RM yet all he does is continue like spit into his hand and to make me wet since I was caught off guard . when he came into my room and got on top of me as he than began crawling and forcing he had removed my gym blue short which had been removed by RM as he got him self inside me.
As RM is doing the stuff inside my body . my mind tells me something is not right since RM tells me if me and Ss want to fix whatever issues me n Ss have between only us .. 1st part is to forget the past because it is full jealous , that we both hurt each other by cheating Ss. cheated by wasting his gas and money & time with 1 Female besides barely spending time with you Misty & than you Misty went a cheated on than 10- 20 different males. 2015 until present.
My mind goes into just blank and confused by what if I was the reason why I was just used to just tell myself .. If I really enjoy sex this 1 of the way into a adult men's heart. Which Lust is a sin which makes me feel bad to think but also I know that it about personality and knowing stuff like what common likes & each others dislikes.
Yet sx is my stress relief . it what I do when I hope not to go back to self-harming myself . which since I was 9 years old in 3rd grade until 29 years old is when I had used sx as another yet more unhealth riskier way . yet I than began staying with most of the oldest Friends W Benefits . which never had any issues before.
I right now feeling like I was willing to be used by him like how he tells .. That I allowing any male to walk all over me. Than he asked me is that right? To allow any male to talk down to a female ? I quietly and look away from RM as he keeps saying those statements and questions.