Dear Shacke: I'm gonna apologize up front because I don't have a lot of experience and understanding about self-harming. What I a remember as a pre-teen and cutting myself (I'm being careful because I've had my replies edited for too much detail in the past), the actual process was comforting in that it distracted me from feeling the emotional pain.
Is that similar to the comfort you find in the thoughts you have? Or am I way out in left field here (which I end up in a lot!) and the comfort you feel is from something else? Is there another way, a gentler way, to comfort yourself? Can a virtual hug from a TTL member help? If so, here it comes:
I'm so glad you are still active on this website. I'm honoured that you have posted a lot here and have helped comfort so many others here. You have shared many positive caring comments in response to my posts, as well as that of others. I hope you can direct some of that kindness and compassion toward yourself during this hard time.