Originally Posted by PsychoManiac
Feel the need to harm all the time. Theres not a day that goes by when I dont think of it. Sometimes without any reason I feel the need to cause myself hurt and pain. So much has happened in the past that I should forget and move on. Why people dont understand its a constant reminder all the time. You laugh you joke just to hide how you really feel. It makes it worse as I work in a nursery setting if they knew I thought about self harm my career would be over. I just want to get better then why do I always think about blood and pain
I too get the urges to harm myself all the time. My day dreams consist of blood and pain and methods to inflict it on myself. Sometimes for no reason at all I want to feel the pain and draw some blood from my body. Harming myself actually calms me down. The reason is not always there, just the need , the urge. And often I am helpless against it. I do feel guilty about it later on but then I go and do it again because I think I deserve it. Its like this never ending cycle. The urge, the deed , the pain, the blood, the feeling, the guilt and finally you think that you deserve this. That you deserve the pain. And that's all you deserve. Nothing else.