i have tried to kill myself twice and both the times it was a half-hearted attempt. i now wish if i could have pressed a little deeper or a little harder. or if could just have done some serious damage that could have killed me. but thats just wishful thinking.
But to be honest, i kinda like to cut. i think that its the only thing these days that calms me down. i like to see the blood and feel the pain. i think i sound like a psychopath. and sometimes i think that maybe i am one. i think that hurting myself is just a coping mechanism for me. but once a cutter, always a cutter. even if you stop cutting, you will miss it. i like cutting because i think i deserve it. its just i am trapped here and my family cant see that. its like .... i dont know whats it like. i really cant describe it. its like i cut and harm myself to feel better in my own skin.
i dont have a bad personality or anything, but the i do have an unquiet mind. the thoughts, ideas and any random stuff that i see in day to day life keep on crashing into each other. its like i keep on thinking. i can actually feel my mind going about and doing the thinking. this is the very reason that i am a very opinionated person.
i dont think anybody can do anything. thanks though.