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Addicted to self harm

This is a discussion on Addicted to self harm within the Self-Harm forums, part of the Mental and Physical Health category; Thanks, Enddays. I will check it out. But to be honest, thus kind of thing does give me the creeps. ...

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Old 03-29-17, 08:45 AM   #11
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Thanks, Enddays. I will check it out. But to be honest, thus kind of thing does give me the creeps. But I am sure that there is no harm in trying.
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Old 03-29-17, 09:09 AM   #12
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This is probably only effective if you 100% convinced that it will work and help. My self-doubt let it not succeed. I am convinced with a strong willpower you can achieve anything.
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Old 03-30-17, 08:10 AM   #13
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I'll keep that in mind. Thanks.
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Old 04-06-17, 01:39 PM   #14
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My mother somehow got to know that I was harming and she and dad lost it completely. They had a talk with me ( I didn't say a word ) where they blamed me for all my problems. It was like the last two years flashed in front of my eyes in that hour. They got frustrated when I didnt speak more than a syllable and demanded to know the truth. They said pretty bad things and hurt me to hell and then told me to live with it. How could they? I have cried myself to sleep since that night. They told me that I was a useless piece of crap and that I should get my shit together and study. Fuck. Dont they get it, i i cant fucking get anything in my fucking head.
They told me to give up harming and throw away my things. They don't understand that I need the 'things' to stay alive. I lied to my parents the next day when they asked me if I had gotten rid of my things, I said yes. But I still haven't. You can't imagine the need that's washing over me, to see the blood and feel the pain.
I had also been drinking. And doing a hell lot of other stuff. I don't know what to do. Because I know that it won't be long when I harm myself. I harm myself to feel better in my own skin. My parents think of it as a way to end life. I see and use it as a way to go through and live life.
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Old 04-09-17, 10:15 PM   #15
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I feel like shit and too tired to do anything. Just the thought of getting up in the morning makes me nauseous. But never the less I wake up and get through the day harming myself. I have the things all the time with me and I feel anxious if I leave them behind. It doesn't matter where, when ...just the feeling of relieve is what that matters. And that only to some extant. Sometimes I think that I little more effort, a little more force, a little more patience and i had cross the line. The hope that the "other side" will be peaceful is a thing to look forward to. The harming of my body myself makes me feel worthless and I cant help think that I am assisting in the destruction of my own self. But that's kinda calming too.
I don't know what to think. All these thoughts, ideas, all the voices in my head just want to lash out. I had like to shut myself in my room and rot there. I think that I am already dead. Sometimes I am paranoid that when I will harm myself, my blood will be black. Like a foliage thats gone bad. I think that every thing inside me is already dead. So I don't see a point in continuing life.
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Old 04-10-17, 08:55 AM   #16
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Please get professional help.
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Old 04-10-17, 03:59 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SensualGirl View Post
Please get professional help.
Is there such a thing as professional help? Do not think so, somehow
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Old 04-11-17, 12:37 AM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Enddays View Post
Is there such a thing as professional help? Do not think so, somehow
Couldn't have quoted it better. Thanks.
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Old 04-22-17, 01:54 PM   #19
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Its been 3 days since I harmed myself, but now , like right now , I am staring at an instrument. The urge to draw blood washing over me like waves on sand. But I am merely a sand castle. I get broken down and washes away when these waves which normally satisfy the sand. I don't know what to do. Its like this is my life now. Just get fucked up , harm yourself to feel better in your own skin and then get fucked up again. Its hot here and I can't help but wear long sleeves. And that makes me cranky and irritated. But its either this or dying.
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Old 04-22-17, 11:10 PM   #20
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How many times have you tried to kill yourself? Or is your intention just to hurt yourself? What do you hate about your personality?
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