like really confusing. I mean I'm not a boy anymore. I just turned 20. the days of looking for other guys to tell me the right path is probably over. Everyone I turned to doesnt give me the right advice. and my choices are terrible (like really fucking terrible). I feel like I'm in a stalemate with life or maybe I'm not looking in the right places. I'm shy btw so I haven't really ventured out in the world. I've just been boxing trying to fight my problems. But since my last fight. The problems I face aren't in the ring. Its in life in general. I thought I would be happy winning my last fight. No more regrets. I would finally be redeemed and can move on. The problem with that? Not a thing has changed. I'm less shy atleast, but I'm still sad, trying to figure out what in life would fix me. I feel like the only problem I face in life is talking to people. It seems like its the root of all my sadness. But its not like I'm happy when I'm around others though. But this time I'm going to try to give them a chance. instead of just trying to be alone. Maybe that's what I did wrong?
I'll need to get a job as a starting point. I can't really bury the past. maybe I can forgive the past? worth a shot am I right? and the absolutist logic I have? "I HAVE TO BE PERFECT ALL THE TIME!" yeah I'm going to throw that in the trash. Hey Rorschach was an absolutist and we all know how watchmen ended? I need to think positive about this shit.
The only thing ive never tried was think positively when life had me down
I cant control what others do, but I can control what I think.
Sorry I just brainstormed this but fuck it, I'm super positive right now.
(even though I'm hurt.)