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This is a discussion on Image within the Self-Esteem forums, part of the Life's Other Challenges category; Image is everything to most people but not to me. I don't get why these ignorant magazines that you see ...

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Old 01-23-14, 05:37 AM   #1
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Image is everything to most people but not to me. I don't get why these ignorant magazines that you see at the checkout section of the grocery store are so popular. And these stupid shows my mom watches, oh my God. Shows like Access Hollywood, Extra, The Insider, and the list goes on. Why are these show so popular? All they talk about is looks or money and when they are not talking about looks they are talking about money and when they are not talking about money they are talking about looks. Like how good some skank actress looks in a bikini. Who cares? Why is this front page news? Why is this even mentioned? Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with looking good. What I have a problem with is these stupid images of famous people and how bad it makes the rest of the women and girls feel. I admit I used to be a victim of famous image brainwashing too. Feeling bad because I don't look perfect in a fucking bikini. There was a time when I felt so bad about myself that I wouldn't even wear a one piece bathing suit to the beach. I was that self conscious of how I looked. I would wear a t shirt and shorts to the beach. Now I just don't care. I will wear a one piece and even a bikini top and a swim skirt and I don't care how I look. I have realized over the years that I may not have the best body but at least I am natural and don't have a body that was pumped full of plastic like all these idiot celebrities. Why does society treat famous women like they are somehow special when they are not? Anybody can look perfect if they have enough money to buy plastic body parts. And this stupid obssession with butts and boobs. They make it sound as if certain celebrities are the only ones who have butts or the only ones who have boobs. Lots of women have big butts and boobs and it's not special just because a celebrity has them.


And on the opposite side of the spectrum I hate how when a actress gains a few pounds it's like front page news. I couldn't care less. I just don't jugde people based on something a shallow as looks. Looks are not a good enough reason to love and worship a celebrity either. I notice a lot of people doing this too. People think their standards are so high because they put such a high value on looks but if looks are all that's important to you then your standards are actually very low in my book. I judge people more on their actions and how they are as a person and this is what should count. Not how they look in a bathing suit. And why just because someone doesn't find a certain celebrity attractive the person has to be jealous? People are entitled to their opinions. Not everybody is going to like the same thing. This is why I don't talk much about all these overrated celebrity women they are always oooohing and aaaahing over because I know if I did people would just say I'm jealous. This is not the case. Everybody has good physical attributes and things that may not be so good. Some women they always rave about and think are so beautiful I think are either ugly, plain, nothing special, or average. Like Jennifer Aniston. What the hell is so special about her? Her looks are boring and plain and nothing about her stands out to me. I'm not saying she's ugly, I'm just saying she's average. I can go to the mall and pick out countless women that I think are better looking than her. And Julia Roberts. She's downright ugly to me with that big, horse tooth smile of hers and that ugly, kinky curly hair of hers. One time I saw her wearing glasses and she looked like the biggest nerd and dork in the world. She's far from beautiful to me. And even Angelina Jolie. She falls into the category of ok but I don't think she's drop dead beautiful like people make her out to be. I'm just tired of all this celebrity image crap.



I'm just glad I personally don't admire or love people simply based on how they look because I feel like that's very narrow-minded and close-minded thinking. I don't want to fall in the category of being narrow-minded or close-minded. And also another thing I learned is some self-acceptance. As I said, I may not have the best beach body but I feel like I have many good physical attributes and at least I'm not made of plastic and wax like celebrities are. I think people are way too hung up on looks. This is why I don't get along with most people because all they talk about is how great some skank celebrity looks in a bathing suit. I would like to have some deep conversations, not the usual shallow conversations that most people have. Even my mom is guilty of doing this. She's always talking about some old washed up actress and how she looks so young for her age. Blah, blah, blah. One word, Botox. Two more words, face lifts. That's why this idiots look young or thin or whatever. They are fake and plastic. Whatever happened to natural beauty? And then even on the internet people argue over whose hot and whose not. Just because a certain person doesn't find a certain celebrity attractive doesn't mean they are jealous of him or her. Like I said, not everyone likes the same things and what's attractive to one person may not be attractive to someone else. And I'm not just talking about celebrity women. I'm talking about the men too. Like an example of a man they always claim is so good looking but I don't think he is is George Clooney. He has a head full of gray hair for God's sake. I don't think gray hair is attractive. Perhaps he would look better if he dyed his hair black or dark brown but I don't find him attractive with all that gray hair.


I just get depressed about images and why people think they are so important. That's why I posted this in the first place. I hope someone feels the same as me and is so tired of being bombarded by all the crap about how this is beautiful or that's not beautiful. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
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Old 01-23-14, 02:31 PM   #2
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If it makes you feel any better, it just made me feel so much less alone to know that someone else shares this perspective with me. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one in the world who gets sad every time another woman is put down for her appearance. I hate the amount of weight that people assign to outer beauty. It's not fair, reasonable, or sensible, and there are so, so many other more important things to think about.

But you said it yourself-- different people find different things attractive. So try not to let it weigh you down too much. You are beautiful the way you are, whether or not your body looks like the (heavily airbrushed) images on magazine covers. Not many of us are models, but we can all learn to find the beauty in ourselves and others. Much love, friend. Take care. <3
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Old 01-26-14, 03:23 AM   #3
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CrystalVisions thanks so much for your kind and encouraging words. Your very right when you say there are other things that should matter besides weight or looks in general. Looks to me are not everything. I look for better qualitites in people than simply what they look like. Usually the good looking ones are the worst ones because they are so arrogant, selfish, stuck up and have many other bad qualities.

People, women in particular should not have to feel unattractive just because they are not models. Models are not always perfect looking either. Sometimes I even wonder how some of them ever got to be models. Good looking women should come in all shapes and sizes and society should quit putting women in a box and anyone who doesn't fit in that box is considered unattractive. THat's crap. Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes, not just a size zero or a size two.
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Old 05-08-18, 03:30 AM   #4
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And I just love the way when a plus size model is in a bathing suit and is overweight people all claim to "be concerned for her health" or "afraid she'll die young." Eyeroll. What a crock. The only reason people are concerned about a plus size women wearing anything is not because they care about her health, but because she's overweight and doesn't fit the typical skinny model bullshit. People just don't like the way she looks. Let's be real here. Life is nothing more than a beauty contest and a popularity contest. It's like high school hell all over again except this time high school never ends. I never understood why it's so important for everybody to be exactly the same. I'd personally would rather stand out than fit in anyway. I'm my own person. And skinny people are not always healthy either. Plenty of them have illnesses the same as a bigger person. And when people aren't talking about how some actress looks in a bikini they are talking about that almighty dollar. Like how some stupid celebrity bought a 30 million dollar mansion. Eyeroll again. I mean it seems like all people care about is looks and money, looks and money, looks and money. Well not me. I am a much deeper person than that. That's why a lot of people don't get me because I am so much deeper than your average person. And for the life of me I will never understand what people find so interesting about a celebrity being spotted at the gym or a celebrity being spotted at a Starbucks. I mean, really? Who cares? I feel I am the only one who doesn't give a fuck about this shit. If a person whose not famous or rich went to a gym or a Starbucks nobody would care. But oh, just because someone famous does it it's a big deal. Gag. The human race has just become so shallow, superficial, vain, and image obsessed that I can't stomach even listening to people talk. I sure as hell don't like being around them when all they talk about is some rich asshole on tv they don't even know. Whatever. Sometimes I question why I am such an outcast and it finally hit me. Maybe God purposely made me an outcast so people don't corrupt me with their shallow, superficial, vain bullshit. He doesn't want to make a good person bad so he keeps me away from people so they don't poison me with their "looks and money is all that matters" bullshit. I'm truly starting to believe this is why God keeps me away from people. So they do not damage me with their shallow, superficial, vain, way of thinking. Like I said, I am a much deeper person than most people. Lot of times when I talk about my disgust for shallow celebrities all people say is, why do you let that bother you?" Again, they don't understand. It bothers me because I am a deep person and there's more to a person than looks and money. THere's more to life than looks and money. Why doesn't being a good person matter. Why is that not important? Brains, sweet personality, kind heartedness, generous, not of that seems to matter. If your not a beauty queen your not important. How stupid. What does a womans looks have to do with her value and worth? What difference does it make what her breast or butt size is or how much she weighs? That is not what makes a woman, or anybody for that matter, worthy or important or valuable. But whatever.

Last edited by flame; 05-08-18 at 03:35 AM.
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Old 05-08-18, 10:06 AM   #5
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I think fat shaming is totally ludicrous. People are usually born obese. And if a person weighs like 300 pounds and they go down to 130, they will have loose skin hanging and look like they're 90 years old. It will look really bad and they won't be able to afford plastic surgery to take off the loose skin.

Some people become fat due to emotional issues. Like a woman was molested as a child, she might put on weight to protect herself from looking overly sexually appealing. She will lose the weight and gain it all back. Or if a woman dealt with jealous, catty girls in high school who were jealous of her body, she might put on weight so people won't be jealous of her. And she might subconsciously resist losing weight so people won't be jealous and start drama with her again.

Sometimes when people are harassed into losing weight and they lose the weight and start getting compliments, they feel resentful towards people. They think, 'oh, so I wasn't good enough for you THEN, but NOW I'm good enough? You couldn't accept me as I was. I had to conform to please you? You don't know what unconditional brotherly love is like in the Bible?' Then they rebel subconsciously and gain the weight back.

90% of the people who lose weight gain it back and more within two years. Gyms make you sign a contract for a year because they know you'll stop going after six weeks and they want you to keep paying. But yet fat people are seen as too lazy to go to the gym.
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Old 05-09-18, 07:23 AM   #6
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i liked this from crystal==
**sometimes I feel like I'm the only one in the world who gets sad every time another woman is put down for her appearance.I hate the amount of weight that people assign to outer beauty,it's not fair, reasonable, or sensible, and there are so, so many other more important things to think about...but you said it yourself-- different people find different things attractive,so try not to let it weigh you down too much,you are beautiful the way you are, whether or not your body looks like the (heavily airbrushed) images on magazine covers,not many of us are models, but we can all learn to find the beauty in ourselves and others**

@crystal=you hit the nail here for every woman(or man)who looks in her(his)mirorr and say to herself(himself)===i am fat,ugly bla bla bla...then the self esteem button starts to work=why me etc... depression,anxiety,fear of rejection==the whole shabang etc..
i find a woman beautiful when she shows her heart and inner emotions to me..i told once to my gf==i will still love you if you would weigh 250 pounds..it's a matter HOW one feels in our own body sometimes..and how other people see it,judge it or comment on it?fat shaming,slut shaming,bullying are only examples of how a trauma can start to develop and get a serious effect on how a person feels within herself or himself,we are not movie stars or glamour girls or boys on here,is it?for that matter i would say..be yourself and act as if you're beautiful inside your heart..and fuck people who judge you for bodily looks..i have known girls with a face like a movie star,but they acted like bitches,and on the other hand girls who look normal or less beautiful..but with a golden heart..I go for the latter
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Last edited by tigerlover; 05-09-18 at 07:26 AM.
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