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I wish I was stronger

This is a discussion on I wish I was stronger within the Self-Esteem forums, part of the Life's Other Challenges category; Got into a little confrontation today with this meathead and his friend over a parking spot and I feel like ...

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Old 04-05-17, 10:49 PM   #1
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Default I wish I was stronger

Got into a little confrontation today with this meathead and his friend over a parking spot and I feel like shit. I tried to be assertive and stand up for myself, but my voice shook and I had to hide the fact that I was trembling. Looked the fucker in his eyes, but I was honestly terrified. It's shameful that I still haven't figured out how to handle bullies after all these years.

I just feel so inadequate compared to the other men in my family. I hear stories of how feared my grandfather was in his home country and desperately wish I could be like that. My uncles and brother too. They're all fearless and virtually unbreakable. They naturally assume power over others, dominate social interactions, and are almost always in control of the situation. No one messes with them.

It's not even a physical thing - they aren't significantly bigger or stronger than most men. Yet somehow they always have the upper hand. And despite the fact that they're secretly disliked by lots of people, no one dares to speak out against them. Matter of fact, the same people rally behind them. I wish I knew their secret.

AFAIK I'm the only person in my family who has ever talked back to my brother. Not even my parents can control him. My dad acts like a bully at home but turns into a mouse whenever they argue. How do I get that kind of power?

Last edited by Black Sheep; 04-05-17 at 10:52 PM.
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Old 04-06-17, 04:11 PM   #2
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Do you love yourself?

Also, would you say you buy into traditional gender roles, society's interpretation of what it is to be a man?
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Old 04-07-17, 08:16 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SensualGirl View Post
Do you love yourself?
I don't know. I think so.

Quote:
Also, would you say you buy into traditional gender roles, society's interpretation of what it is to be a man?
somewhat.
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Old 04-07-17, 10:52 PM   #4
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Why don't you ask those men to teach you?
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Old 12-18-17, 11:23 PM   #5
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Why do you want to be like them? Does being a dominant person that other people despise really come off as the most powerful kind of person to you?

Maybe there is a different way for you to feel like you have power without being demeaning towards other people.
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Old 12-19-17, 12:33 AM   #6
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It's weak and not respectable to rule by fear imo
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Old 12-30-17, 03:59 PM   #7
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I think the most powerful thing you can do is believe in yourself. You never need to be the loudest, strongest, smartest or most cunning individual at all times. But having the self confidence and insight to chose what is right for a situation as it presents itself is very empowering. The most difficult obstacle to overcome is yourself.
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