going back to college?
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going back to college?

This is a discussion on going back to college? within the School forums, part of the Life's Other Challenges category; The college years... they're supposed to be the best years of a person's life, but for me they have been ...

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Old 03-30-16, 10:53 PM   #1
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The college years... they're supposed to be the best years of a person's life, but for me they have been the worst.

I've been in and out of school for almost 5 years now. I dropped out twice because of depression. All of my acquaintances from high school are now graduating, finding work in their fields, and moving out on their own. They all had the stereotypical college experience... lots of drinking, partying, hookups, friends, relationships and personal growth. I never had any of that.

During my time at university, all I did was commute to and from school, struggle to stay awake during lectures, and work my ass off studying everyday. I never had any kind of social life whatsoever because I was crippled with social anxiety. It was the most miserable time period of my life and I have nothing to show for it because I kept switching majors and dropping out. My life has been at a standstill ever since I finished high school. I didn't grow much as a person or have any new experiences. It hurts so much to think what a waste all these years have been. I can't describe how much regret and resentment I feel over it.

Now I'm considering going back but I'm afraid of repeating it all again. My parents think it is unhealthy for me to just stay at home and do nothing, and I agree with them. The only other option I have is to find a job, but I don't really want to do that either. I don't want to be stuck at a low paying dead-end job with no opportunities for a social life.

The problem with me going back to school is that I don't know what to study. If I go into something that I'm not interested in, I risk repeating history for the 3rd time. I've already wasted so much of my parent's money. I don't want to go through it again. A few people have advised me to study what I'm passionate about (arts and music), but I don't have any experience and I know that employment prospects for those fields are poor. They don't offer financial security, which is important.

I just don't know what to do. I'll be 23 years old soon and I still have no direction in life. Time is running out. Do I study something practical and push through all the impossibly difficult, tedious bullshit so that I have a chance at getting a decent paying job later on? Even if I hate it? I'm not sure if I'll have the motivation to do that if I don't have a social life to balance things out. Or should I forget about the social aspect, study something I love, and risk being broke and alone? Either way, the future looks grim for me.

Advice?
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Old 04-05-16, 09:01 PM   #2
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I should have kept it short. No one's gonna read this shit.
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Old 04-08-16, 07:48 PM   #3
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fuck.
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Old 04-08-16, 10:15 PM   #4
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Black Sheep,

As someone who has a tech college degree, been in the military, working full time and also working on a 4 year and been hospitalized multiple times for being suicidal here is some advice.

My advice to you would be to be persistent and think like a politician. A lot of our politicians make mistakes and even though many people seem to hate them they seem to continue to get by somehow.

I would make yourself a career plan, it can be something simple but whatever works for you.

I would recommend working through school, try doing something like part-time work + part time school or part-time work + full-time+school or full-time work + part-time school or some combination of that.

There reason for this is because you should be doing some sort of volunteer work or internship through your school for references and working helps afford schooling.

Last edited by Forest; 05-05-16 at 06:16 AM.
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Old 04-11-16, 02:23 PM   #5
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Hey there,

I'm sorry you're feeling frustrated with where you are right now. I started college when I was 16 and it's taken me 7 years to finish a two-year degree because of my mental health (I'm also 23), while everyone my age is already finishing, so I understand how it feels to be left behind.

You've probably heard this before, but you don't have to know what you're doing right now. Focus on the very small things that over time will add up to a degree or the bigger picture. Even taking one class is a huge step and it will pay off in the long run so long as you stick with it! I was also interested in art but I chose to veer away from it personally for the same reason (now want to study horticulture bc life is too complicated), but if studying art or music are the only studies you feel positive about doing, despite the struggle, maybe it might be worth it. I'm not sure what's available to you, but you could look into job training programs that offer a certificate and use it to fall back on if you had trouble finding a job in what you love. Something like pharmacy tech, phlebotomy, EMT, electrical technician...there are quite a few of them that take less than a year if even to train for.

So long as you're consistent and chip away at even unformed goals, it'll work out in the long run and you'll get a clearer picture as you go. Focusing on the small things and giving yourself credit for what classes you have completed is important. You can change your mind as much as you want until your last year honestly, lol. Maybe if you change your mind enough times, something might stick!

But yeah, sorry you're in a funk about it. You're no less for taking your time, and if you need to take a semester or two off to focus on your mental health (if that's doable for you), that's all right too. Cheers.
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Old 04-22-16, 11:43 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by izbits View Post
Hey there,

I'm sorry you're feeling frustrated with where you are right now. I started college when I was 16 and it's taken me 7 years to finish a two-year degree because of my mental health (I'm also 23), while everyone my age is already finishing, so I understand how it feels to be left behind.

You've probably heard this before, but you don't have to know what you're doing right now. Focus on the very small things that over time will add up to a degree or the bigger picture. Even taking one class is a huge step and it will pay off in the long run so long as you stick with it! I was also interested in art but I chose to veer away from it personally for the same reason (now want to study horticulture bc life is too complicated), but if studying art or music are the only studies you feel positive about doing, despite the struggle, maybe it might be worth it. I'm not sure what's available to you, but you could look into job training programs that offer a certificate and use it to fall back on if you had trouble finding a job in what you love. Something like pharmacy tech, phlebotomy, EMT, electrical technician...there are quite a few of them that take less than a year if even to train for.

So long as you're consistent and chip away at even unformed goals, it'll work out in the long run and you'll get a clearer picture as you go. Focusing on the small things and giving yourself credit for what classes you have completed is important. You can change your mind as much as you want until your last year honestly, lol. Maybe if you change your mind enough times, something might stick!

But yeah, sorry you're in a funk about it. You're no less for taking your time, and if you need to take a semester or two off to focus on your mental health (if that's doable for you), that's all right too. Cheers.
thank you.
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Old 06-16-16, 01:02 PM   #7
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that feeling of being left behind is the worst, especially when you're on facebook and you see how well your classmates are doing.

needhelp and izbits gave some wonderful advice, the best i can offer is saying stay strong.
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