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College = the worst years of my life

This is a discussion on College = the worst years of my life within the School forums, part of the Life's Other Challenges category; Originally Posted by Lost45 Hey! Medical science and business - accounting are two very different subjects. And I think that ...

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Old 04-20-17, 02:08 AM   #11
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Hey! Medical science and business - accounting are two very different subjects. And I think that you have tried everything in between too. Also I think that if you have an aptitude for one you can't have the same aptitude for the other.
Yeah, they are pretty different. I'm certainly better at some things than others. But I think there's a lot of crossover in the skills required for different subjects at university. Many of the skills I learned in biomedical science (e.g. advanced math, research, writing) helped me to do well in what I'm studying now.

If you're really unsure about what to study, I highly recommend looking into professional career testing services. It's not a 100% solution, but it can really help to give you some direction. Check with your high school to see if they have something like that available for free. Otherwise you might have to pay for it. It's actually a really rigorous process and I think it's worth a shot.

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Have your decisions about your subjects have been sometimes influenced by your parents or someone around you?
No, my parents were always very passive about my education. It used to really frustrate me. I wish they had been more involved like other kids' parents. All they ever told me was that I needed to go to university and earn a degree. They didn't offer any guidance beyond that. But I did deal with a lot of pressure from my peers and teachers in my senior year. That definitely had an influence on me.

I wish I didn't listen to them. I wasn't psychologically ready for university. I should have waited instead of making a thoughtless, last-minute decision. It ended up costing a lot of time and money.

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Have you finally found the subject that you like or you are comfortable doing?
I can tolerate it. I intend to finish this time. It's not going to lead to my dream career, but hopefully it'll give me some job security in the future. That's important to me because I recognize that it's going to be very difficult to find employment with my anxiety issues.

There are subjects that I enjoy (e.g. graphic design, digital animation, audio production), but I don't have the ambition or resilience to make a decent living off of it. At least, not anymore. Maybe I would've had a chance if I pursued those things earlier in life, when I actually had motivation.

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It's like I am having a lot of trouble choosing my subject.
And another thing, would you choose college over course or course over college?
I'm not sure if I'm understanding this question correctly.

In my opinion, you should figure out what subject you want to study first. Do some research and maybe some career testing. Think about what you like and what you can handle. If you know anyone who already went to college, ask them what the actual schoolwork is like in their field of study. You need to make this decision based on logic. Bottom line: you don't want to be stuck doing something you hate. If I had known I'd be doing 3-hour independent chemistry labs and memorizing 60 pages of textbook material every week (for one class!), I wouldn't have chosen biomedical science. Keep in mind, a lot of people switch majors in first year, so don't feel bad if you don't get it right the first time. If that's the case, it's better to switch out sooner rather than later though.

Next, you find out what schools offer your program of choice. Narrow it down to 2 or 3 places. Visit the campuses and get a feel for things. This is where I personally think it's okay to make a decision based on gut feelings or what others are saying. In my experience, a lot of the stereotypes people had about different schools turned out to be true. And I don't think the reputation of your college matters as much to employers nowadays. As long as you go somewhere that's relatively well-known, it shouldn't make much of a difference.

I went against my gut instinct and made the mistake of attending a more prestigious university where academic performance was everything. It was a really competitive and unfriendly environment. There wasn't much of a social atmosphere at all and I didn't click with anyone. A lot of the buildings were old, ugly, and depressing. The commute was a pain in the ass. The food was crap. Maybe this stuff wouldn't matter to you. But for me, it did. I think those little details and the overall culture of the school are important considerations.

Last edited by Black Sheep; 04-20-17 at 02:10 AM.
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Old 04-22-17, 01:52 AM   #12
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No, my parents were always very passive about my education. It used to really frustrate me. I wish they had been more involved like other kids' parents. All they ever told me was that I needed to go to university and earn a degree. They didn't offer any guidance beyond that. But I did deal with a lot of pressure from my peers and teachers in my senior year. That definitely had an influence on me.

I wish I didn't listen to them. I wasn't psychologically ready for university. I should have waited instead of making a thoughtless, last-minute decision. It ended up costing a lot of time and money.
My parents want me to go to a good university and want me to make a career for myself. I think that they are hard pressed towards the fact that if I don't go right now I never would. Also there is a lot of pressure on me to do whatever. And I can't help but figure anything out.

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I can tolerate it. I intend to finish this time. It's not going to lead to my dream career, but hopefully it'll give me some job security in the future. That's important to me because I recognize that it's going to be very difficult to find employment with my anxiety issues.

There are subjects that I enjoy (e.g. graphic design, digital animation, audio production), but I don't have the ambition or resilience to make a decent living off of it. At least, not anymore. Maybe I would've had a chance if I pursued those things earlier in life, when I actually had motivation.
And as you said I too am psychologically not ready for college. But telling my folks this would be a disaster. I can't help but get hung up on the idea that I would not be able to survive college. But I don't think anybody would understand that. And I think I am going to make the same mistake of making a last minute decision.
Should I work up the nerve to tell my parents or should I just do as they r telling me to? I mean they r my parents they would do what is right for me, right?

I am kinda stuck with doing engineering. But engineering not in my chosen field will bum me out. I also kinda am into writing and journalism. But I have never thought journalism as a career choice. Just a hobby.
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I'm not sure if I'm understanding this question correctly.

In my opinion, you should figure out what subject you want to study first. Do some research and maybe some career testing. Think about what you like and what you can handle. If you know anyone who already went to college, ask them what the actual schoolwork is like in their field of study. You need to make this decision based on logic. Bottom line: you don't want to be stuck doing something you hate. If I had known I'd be doing 3-hour independent chemistry labs and memorizing 60 pages of textbook material every week (for one class!), I wouldn't have chosen biomedical science. Keep in mind, a lot of people switch majors in first year, so don't feel bad if you don't get it right the first time. If that's the case, it's better to switch out sooner rather than later though.

Next, you find out what schools offer your program of choice. Narrow it down to 2 or 3 places. Visit the campuses and get a feel for things. This is where I personally think it's okay to make a decision based on gut feelings or what others are saying. In my experience, a lot of the stereotypes people had about different schools turned out to be true. And I don't think the reputation of your college matters as much to employers nowadays. As long as you go somewhere that's relatively well-known, it shouldn't make much of a difference.

I went against my gut instinct and made the mistake of attending a more prestigious university where academic performance was everything. It was a really competitive and unfriendly environment. There wasn't much of a social atmosphere at all and I didn't click with anyone. A lot of the buildings were old, ugly, and depressing. The commute was a pain in the ass. The food was crap. Maybe this stuff wouldn't matter to you. But for me, it did. I think those little details and the overall culture of the school are important considerations.





I am not fussy about food and stuff, but would hate a gloomy school with no infrastructure. I would also like a good school culture.



What I meant by the last question was that, if I got into an A grade college and would not get my choice of subject and if I got into a B grade college with my choice of subject, which one would you choose?

Last edited by Lost45; 04-22-17 at 01:56 AM.
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Old 04-22-17, 01:55 AM   #13
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PS all these career testing services are bullshit. Been there. Done that.
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Old 04-22-17, 08:48 AM   #14
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Yup. They said economist or librarian *eye roll.*
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Old 04-22-17, 08:52 AM   #15
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my parents were always very passive about my education. It used to really frustrate me. I wish they had been more involved like other kids' parents. All they ever told me was that I needed to go to university and earn a degree. They didn't offer any guidance beyond that.
I feel the same. My mom wanted me to go to a good school. But being an immigrant, she didn't know what an Ivy League University was (and now says I went to an Ivy when I didn't), didn't know what the SATs were, etc. I didn't have a dad. So there was basically zero parental input in my education. So I took interesting, fun classes, had no career plan, didn't go to grad school, and finished with a BA in English. My mom said I should have done Political Science, but now I learned that that's just as useless!! She's so dumb. But I'm expected to be successful regardless.
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Old 04-22-17, 02:51 PM   #16
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And as you said I too am psychologically not ready for college. But telling my folks this would be a disaster. I can't help but get hung up on the idea that I would not be able to survive college. But I don't think anybody would understand that. And I think I am going to make the same mistake of making a last minute decision.
Should I work up the nerve to tell my parents or should I just do as they r telling me to? I mean they r my parents they would do what is right for me, right?
yes, I think you should talk to them.

A lot of people don't go straight into university. Like I said before, I know quite a few people who took time off to work or travel.

The only downside to taking time off is that it can fuck with your work ethic/study habits. When I first went to university, I was taking 5-6 courses a semester. I took some time off and I haven't been able to handle a full course load since. Your brain can get lazy and it can be hard to get back into the routine. When you're coming straight out of high school, you might be better prepared to cope with the workload. But it all depends on the person. You know yourself better than anyone else. I was seriously burnt out by the end of high school, so I think some time off would've been good for me.

What are you most worried about? Are you afraid you won't be able to cope with the actual work? If that's the case, you can always take a lighter course load to start with and ease into it. It might take an extra year to finish, but that honestly isn't a big deal. Not compared to taking 4+ extra years like me.

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I am kinda stuck with doing engineering. But engineering not in my chosen field will bum me out. I also kinda am into writing and journalism. But I have never thought journalism as a career choice. Just a hobby.
engineering is tough. What kind of engineering were you thinking of? If you already feel like you're "stuck" with doing it, you might want to reconsider.

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What I meant by the last question was that, if I got into an A grade college and would not get my choice of subject and if I got into a B grade college with my choice of subject, which one would you choose?
personally, I would go with the second option. It doesn't make sense to study something you don't want to do. College reputation doesn't matter much. And you might get better grades at a school with lower academic standards. Don't make these years harder than they need to be.
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Old 04-30-17, 01:56 PM   #17
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yes, I think you should talk to them.

A lot of people don't go straight into university. Like I said before, I know quite a few people who took time off to work or travel.

The only downside to taking time off is that it can fuck with your work ethic/study habits. When I first went to university, I was taking 5-6 courses a semester. I took some time off and I haven't been able to handle a full course load since. Your brain can get lazy and it can be hard to get back into the routine. When you're coming straight out of high school, you might be better prepared to cope with the workload. But it all depends on the person. You know yourself better than anyone else. I was seriously burnt out by the end of high school, so I think some time off would've been good for me.
I think i will take a trip or two before i start my college. But i am not taking time off. 'Cause another year will mean i get more into the depression tunnel and it will be difficult to get out. PS i am already too deep. Damn.
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What are you most worried about? Are you afraid you won't be able to cope with the actual work? If that's the case, you can always take a lighter course load to start with and ease into it. It might take an extra year to finish, but that honestly isn't a big deal. Not compared to taking 4+ extra years like me.
I am not that worried about the actual work load. i think i will be able to work it up. but if i fail, i am going to fall. and i am going to fall hard. i am kinda worried about that. i also dont think i will be able to get into a good college. its just that i have these unlimited doubts that make go crazy. i know i should believe in myself and all that stuff but its just fucking impossible. You know what i mean?
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engineering is tough. What kind of engineering were you thinking of? If you already feel like you're "stuck" with doing it, you might want to reconsider.
I know, right. Well, i am considering go in for aeronautical engineering. I am not "stuck" stuck. i am stuck like i dont want to do anything else. do you think i should loosen the reigns and think of something else i would like to do ? like a simpler course or something?
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personally, I would go with the second option. It doesn't make sense to study something you don't want to do. College reputation doesn't matter much. And you might get better grades at a school with lower academic standards.
So, theres that one sorted out. course over college. done.
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Don't make these years harder than they need to be.
PS will try my best. Thanks.Thanks a lot.
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