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Rikusho 02-24-07 11:43 AM

OCD on a sexual level
 
Is this possible? I've read about people having sexual OCD or being addicted to sex. How do people overcome this?

Any help would be appreciated.

penismightier 02-24-07 11:46 AM

If you don't mind me asking, what makes you think you have sexual OCD or an addiction? I mean, what particular habits, traits or compulsions? I don't want you to go into more detail than you're comfortable talking about, but a little more information about your situation might be helpful.

dragontears 02-24-07 11:48 AM

there is a sex addicts anonymous, try looking them up online, they might have some useful information

Rikusho 02-24-07 11:54 AM

Well i'm not sure of it's OCD or an Addiction. But the reason I think it might be is because of my continuous self pleasuring to put it politely, also recently I had joined up on a few sex websites. And not until over a week ago I realized that what I was doing was not right for me.

Also I have intrusive and continuous thoughts which include sex but also killing and hurting. All this has taken over my life and cost me 2 years of failing at university because I rather be at home doing my thing then doing anything else.
I know it's silly but that's how it was.

If you need anymore details, then let me know.

penismightier 02-24-07 12:22 PM

No, I think that should be enough to paint a pretty good picture. The reason I asked is that some people wonder about sex addictions, but they really just like a lot of sex and it has no negative impact on either their lives or that of their partner. In that case, what's the problem? Everyone's happy.

In your case, though, you recognise that you don't really want to be doing this and that it has been causing you some trouble in your life. There are negative consequences to your actions, and even though you haven't stated it directly, I can tell that it's really bothering you. It's not silly. Once you get into an addictive habit, it can be incredibly tough to break, no matter how self-destructive it becomes.

I really think you should look into Sex Addicts Anonymous, or do a search for some other sort of support group in your area. Maybe your university even has something that could help you out, or some sort of counselor or something. The thoughts of killing and hurting in particular really make me want to say that a counselor might be the better option. How intense are these thoughts? How much do you feel like acting on them? Have you ever acted on them in any way?

Rikusho 02-24-07 12:37 PM

Well I went to a doctor and i've been refered to a local department which specializes in this sort of thing. I also have counselling through the university and although the counselling has helped me alot, I think being on some sort of drug or something will be also better for me.

After I do my own thing, I feel depressed and ashamed because everytime before I would promise myself that I would never do it again.

The thoughts of killing and hurting are not too strong, but I have thought about people in my life being killed and allowing me to get close to people who I don't really know. I really dis-like this and I have managed to stop this way of thinking.

At times I feel very primal and animal like, I feel that the way I act and feel at times is not the real me. This results in a continuous struggle inside me. Sometimes I thought I was going to go insane
.

penismightier 02-24-07 02:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rikusho
The thoughts of killing and hurting are not too strong, but I have thought about people in my life being killed and allowing me to get close to people who I don't really know. I really dis-like this and I have managed to stop this way of thinking..

I'm glad you've managed to stop these things from going through your head. That must have been pretty tormenting. It's good to hear that you didn't hae any really strong urges from this. We wouldn't want you to do anything you'd really regret.

Have you talked to your doctor and counselor about everything you've told us, including your thought that medications might help you? They may not have thought of this as an option if they didn't get all the details that would make them think of it. Also, some people do better without medication, depending on symptoms. If you don't need meds for your particular condition, then they really won't help anything. On the other hand, if you do need them, they really can be a blessing.

I can understand how you would feel primal and animal-like. You're giving into urges that you think you should be able to control. The truth is, though, sometimes controlling these things is beyond our means without some sort of support. I know it's easier said than done, but you don't have to feel depressed or ashamed about "doing your own thing." While it's got a bit of a taboo in society, it's just something that people do. There's nothing wrong with it in and of itself, but if it's interfering with your life, then you do need help to get things to a manageable level.

Rikusho 02-24-07 02:25 PM

I haven't spoken to my counseller about everything but I shall try to. Also it's contracted and mine runs out next Friday. Also I will tell the doctors when they manage to fit an appointment in for me.

Thanks for the advice and being understanding.

penismightier 02-24-07 02:36 PM

No problem. That's what we're here for.

Is it possible to renew that contract with your counselor? I hope so for your sake. I know it's difficult, but it's very important to be open and honest with people who are in a position to help us. That's how we get healed. It's something that has to be done at your own pace, though. You can't force yourself to do it.

Rikusho 02-24-07 03:21 PM

I'll ask my counsellor about re-newing my contract with them. And yeah I agree that I need to be totally open with them and honest. It will take time but I know that i'll get back to my real self. And even if it takes 40 years for me to get well, then so be it. As long as in the end i'm well again.

penismightier 02-24-07 04:23 PM

That's a great attitude to have, Riku. It's great to see that you're committed to be in this for the long haul. I really hope it doesn't take 40 years for you, though. :)

Zetsumei 02-24-07 05:00 PM

I have some programs that have helped me get over my pornography addiction. I have them in my Computer Thingology guide in the third chapter, entitled Porn. These are free programs and in conjunction they work very well. Also having a loving girlfriend who is way more understanding then I ever though humanly possible helps to... D: I am soooo glad she helped me get off that garbage. I feel so bad for ever looking at it! Not only do you hurt yourself but you hurt the people in the porn as well by looking at it.... you are treating other human beings like... items... objects... not people... just think about that. My prayers are with you.

Rikusho 02-25-07 11:57 AM

Zetsumei, thanks for the guide. I appreciate it.

Pen, yeah lets hope it doesn't take 40 years or soo for me to overcome this =)

Zetsumei 02-26-07 01:33 AM

Ya can do it man!!!! Try getting like.. a bunker of anime and watch it instead when you feel the urge or video games or something... that will help a lot too... also take a walk... seriously... if you take a walk you cant look at anything or do anything cause you are in public :P get a busier schedule so you dont have time to be alone also.

Rikusho 02-26-07 04:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zetsumei
Ya can do it man!!!! Try getting like.. a bunker of anime and watch it instead when you feel the urge or video games or something... that will help a lot too... also take a walk... seriously... if you take a walk you cant look at anything or do anything cause you are in public :P get a busier schedule so you dont have time to be alone also.

That's a great idea. Thanks for the tips and advice. I'm gonna start watching anime more often and also read books/poetry and also read up on whats going on in the world. I'm also looking for a full time job so once I get that, my day should be pretty busy.

Thank you for the support and being understanding.

Zetsumei 02-26-07 02:38 PM

AHHHH!!! make sure its an anime without lots of cleavage D: or nudity btw.. D: forgot to add that. And it's np, I am happy to help.

Rikusho 02-27-07 09:02 AM

Hehe no worries.

I've got an appointment for the 8th of March. I'm happy about that. I can now finally start working towards getting better.

Zetsumei 02-27-07 09:29 AM

Just know that unless you get rid of it completely it will still harm you. Idk if you are planning on cutting down or just plain quitting but I thought I would voice that after talkin' to Tohru.

Rikusho 02-27-07 03:55 PM

I went to quit totally. I agree that if I don't then it will still harm me. So i'm gonna see this through to the very end and make sure it's totally gone from me.

Zetsumei 02-27-07 04:24 PM

Well that is great then. Because it is a horrible thing, pornography and such. May people say it doesn't hurt anyone, but it does, it hurts you and it hurts the people that have been made objects by you looking at them like that. I have done this too... and I am ashamed... I am ashamed to say I too have supported a industry and abused those women by going to those sites and looking at it..

Rikusho 02-27-07 06:12 PM

I understand. It is horrible but you know as long as deep down in your heart you know that this sort of action is not part of your nature then there is always hope. If that wasn't the case then yeah I would totally consider myself a lost cause.

It's good that you have been able to brake free from this downward cycle.

By the way, what anime have you seen?

Zetsumei 02-27-07 06:38 PM

I have not finished any of these:
Fruits basket, Bleach, Rurouni Kenshin, Full Metal Alchemist, Cowboy bebop
I have finished:
Hellsing the show and both OVAs.
Big O

All of those are pretty clean.. fruits baskets has naked guys with clouds in front of them and cowboy bebop might have a bad scene I dont remember and Bleach has one of the characters going naked a lot without showing a lot, a lot. D: other then that they are pretty clean. So I would go ahead an watch em. What about you?

Rikusho 02-27-07 06:52 PM

Ah cool. I've seen: Outlaw star, DBZ, Escaflowne, Gundam Seed, Chobits, Hacksign, Hellsing.

What do you think of Hellsing? It's good isn't it?

Lol, that made me laugh when you described fruit basket having naked guys with clouds infront of them. Hehe
.

Zetsumei 02-27-07 06:59 PM

I love Hellsing, I actually have the manga (all of it that i know of), just havent read it. I have both the Ovas and have seen the tv series twice. Alucard is so kick-ass and the opening theme for the tv series aint bad either.


To focus on your issue.. another thing that has helped me a TON was God.. I am Christian, I dont know if you have a faith or not and I am not telling you to get one if you dont have one just to kick this just... it does help having Jesus there to help you.

Rikusho 02-27-07 07:12 PM

Yeah, Alucard is cool. I like his glassses and his eyes are cool as well. If I was a vampire then I would be like that >_>

Hmm, I see. Well I don't actually follow any religion but I do believe in god I guess. The thing that keeps me going is hope and my belief in my own self. Also people like yourself help alot as well.

Rikusho 07-05-07 10:49 AM

UPDATE:

Well unfortunately I was unable to get help. I had one session at the hospital back in March but that was it. I had to move out about a week or soo later due to financial reasons, so I was unable to continue getting help. So since march i've done next to nothing. I thought I could go it alone and deal with this some how but it was futile. I couldn't and now that i'm back at my home town as well as having a few trauma's in my mind, I've now decided to fight it again. So i've made an appointment for tomorrow to see the doctor's and get help. The reason I was not able to do this earlier was cuz I've been looking for work. Now that i've got a job and things have settled down in that sense, I can concentrate on getting well again.

Mousey 07-05-07 12:16 PM

That's excellent Riku....I wish you the best of luck! :)

Rikusho 07-05-07 02:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mousey
That's excellent Riku....I wish you the best of luck! :)

Thank you very much. Today was the last straw, I realized that I keep on saying that next time i'll sort it out or one more time won't hurt but today something happened to me. I realized that i've got my whole life ahead of me and that i've got to fight it now cuz the next thing you know, life will fly by and i'll be old and regretting ever doing something about it. Anyways thank you to everyone on this forum, you guys are part of the reason for which I've been inspired.

I'll keep updating when there's been some proper progress.


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