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YoungDepression4 02-05-13 10:17 PM

Why Won't Anybody Help?
 
I just want to feel a connection with someone. Anyone. I want the person/people I care about to care about me too and treat me like they care. Why doesn't anyone see how much pain I'm in? Yet when someone else is just sad for a couple days, they get everyone's sympathy and everyone lets them know that they're there for them. When people found out about my depression and self harm, they laughed and this one kid even was telling other people to look at what I did to my arm... Whats wrong with me? Why doesn't anyone truly mean it when they ask "How are you?" Why doesn't anybody try to save me from myself...? The suicidal thoughts are coming back and they're all I can think about. As I'm sitting in school, I just think about how nice it would be to be gone. How nobody would care and would just move on with their lives even happier than before.

withoutaclue 02-06-13 12:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by YoungDepression4 (Post 921002)
As I'm sitting in school, I just think about how nice it would be to be gone. How nobody would care and would just move on with their lives even happier than before.

It's easy for a depressed person to believe that untruth, trust me. How people might think no one would care if they were gone. That's not true. You might not think it now, but suicide leaves a huge void in the people around them and people you may not know.

Just out of curiosity, are you seeing a psychologist? Talking to someone who will listen does help a lot.

super147 02-06-13 04:15 AM

There is a lot of difference between supporting someone who is sick for a couple of days and supporting someone who is depressed. Depression is not a subject that everyone is familiar with and we tend to be solution orientated as human beings. We like things that have a natural beginning and end, with a finite timeline. We like problems that have solutions. When you have something that is as long as a piece of string and has no readymix solution it's daunting and a lot of people will tend to back away. They don't know what to do, they don't know what to say and they don't understand. Furthermore, by being around a depressed person too long they are pulled into a world of misery, a place they don't feel comfortable in. They want happy, they want light, they want fun. It's awkward. Many seemingly well people have a fragile state of happiness themselves, despite how it may appear. They don't want anything rocking their boat and hence they will not get too deep into other peoples' problems.

Self harm is another thing that many people don't understand and there is a whole lot of stigma attached to it. The classic reaction of a lot of children or teenagers, in particular, is to mock things that are different. A lot of it is to do with social bonding. By isolating one person from a group you can seek to further cement your own position. The more you move someone into the 'them' circle, the more you can move into the 'us' circle. People do like to create them and us scenarios, right through life. People are labelled and packaged in neat little boxes. It makes things simple. It prevents us having to think about the parts of us that we'd rather not acknowledge. If someone does something violent they are evil, or they are crazy, or they are this, or they are that. Stick a label on, tape up the box and shove them in a corner.

The most damaging label to those who self harm is that it's all about seeking attention. Somehow seeking attention has become this unpleasant and laughable thing. It makes you sad, pathetic, weak, or so the detractors would have you believe. That's at odds with the fact that almost all of us seek attention when we are hurt. Do we not ring the doctors when we're sick? Do we not go to hospital when we are wounded?

This is all about fear and misunderstanding. The people who you hope would care more for you are largely unequipped to be able to provide the understanding that you would like. It's a shame but then a lot of these people will change in time, as they encounter these things for themselves. Understanding why people act like they do can help you to take it a little better. Most of the time people are not being cruel for the sake of it, they are just being human. At worst they are showing weakness. Try not to take it too personally. There will always be those people who surprise you, by understanding in a way that you never expected. Hold on to those people when they come along. In the meantime, seek support from those more mature and more qualified.

YoungDepression4 02-06-13 07:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by withoutaclue (Post 921015)

Just out of curiosity, are you seeing a psychologist? Talking to someone who will listen does help a lot.

Thank you for the reply, and no I am not seeing a psychologist or talking to anyone about it at all.


Thank you for your reply as well super147

frozeinside 02-06-13 07:57 PM

hi i am so sorry that there is no-one who cares about you i just read your thread and it made me feel so sad just had to say something :hug:

frozeinside 02-06-13 08:00 PM

:hug: :hug: :hug:

Dr Blah Blah Blah 02-06-13 08:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by YoungDepression4 (Post 921002)
I just want to feel a connection with someone. Anyone. I want the person/people I care about to care about me too and treat me like they care. Why doesn't anyone see how much pain I'm in? Yet when someone else is just sad for a couple days, they get everyone's sympathy and everyone lets them know that they're there for them.

I feel that way a lot too, and it's incredibly frustrating. I can tell a whole group of people that I'm feeling crappy and within a minute they've changed the subject. It's made it so that I'm afraid to share those thoughts with anyone cause it hurts a little when you open up like that and no one seems to care. I dunno why, but it can be really hard to connect to people, even though it doesn't seem like it should be that hard. I've been there more than a few times, and I understand that feeling. I'm sorry you're feeling so bad, my heart goes out to you. :hug:

YoungDepression4 02-07-13 09:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by frozeinside (Post 921422)
hi i am so sorry that there is no-one who cares about you i just read your thread and it made me feel so sad just had to say something :hug:

Thank you for your reply

YoungDepression4 02-07-13 09:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dr Blah Blah Blah (Post 921429)
I feel that way a lot too, and it's incredibly frustrating. I can tell a whole group of people that I'm feeling crappy and within a minute they've changed the subject. It's made it so that I'm afraid to share those thoughts with anyone cause it hurts a little when you open up like that and no one seems to care. I dunno why, but it can be really hard to connect to people, even though it doesn't seem like it should be that hard. I've been there more than a few times, and I understand that feeling. I'm sorry you're feeling so bad, my heart goes out to you. :hug:

I can't stand that feeling. Today in school this girl was really mad and almost got into a fight with another girl in the hallway, so throughout the whole class she just sat there and looked upset. Near the end of class the teacher took her out in the hall and talked to her all nice and was making sure she was feeling alright.. It just was so frustrating because I've been sitting in that class, depressed, every single day and he didn't even say a single word to me ever checking to see if I was alright. Sorry, I just had to get that off my chest.

YoungDepression4 02-07-13 09:06 PM

It just seems like the people who do get sympathy and support from others, don't really need it and take it for granted, while I (who really needs it) watch and get no support. I sit there every single day and see how nobody cares to even acknowledge that I, being the "popular" all star baseball player at school," can actually be depressed. I just want someone to be there for me!


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