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-   -   i'm menopausal...not DEAD! (https://www.takethislife.com/female-issues/im-menopausal-not-dead-81240/)

abalone 01-19-13 03:32 PM

i'm menopausal...not DEAD!
i have posted on the depression forum regarding a very hard recent breakup. i found out last night, by him, that the biggest reason he left me for a younger woman is because i have a decreased interest in sex. OMG! really? i know all the menopausal symptoms and that that is a natural course for my life right now, but to be with someone for 3 years and have THAT be the reason he leaves? i guess i should be glad he's gone and i didn't marry him, but i want to SCREAM!! i am not a different person just because parts of my body have taken a hiatus. i am so distraught and angry over the abruptness of his departure and the fact that one night he was in my bed and the next he was on a new date. and now to find out that's the biggest reason? oh, that and my being older than him. wow. 3 years? how did I not know he was a douche bag until now? i was doing ok until last night when he dropped this on me, and now i can't sleep and i am sick to my stomach and can't wrap my head around this so that i can replant my feet. HELP ME PLEASE:sob::sob::sob::sob::sob::sob::sob::sob::sob :

hottea654 01-19-13 03:36 PM

:hug: I don't know that there is an explanation other then that he is a very thoughtless and selfish man. Perhaps he will find that younger women are not as interested in him as he hopes.

praesepe 01-19-13 04:04 PM

Abalone :( I'm so sorry honey. I know this pain all too well. There were probably other reasons why he left, he might have just said this to hurt you for some reason. It's hard being a woman sometimes isn't it :hug:
You will get through this and you will be a stronger and more powerful woman than ever. Be strong :hug:

PrairieDawn 01-19-13 04:28 PM

Abalone I'm so sorry :hug::hug:

Do you think it might be some kind of mid-life crisis? Not sure how old he is. You don't have to say...

If sex is his priority, then his priorities are very backwards. Whoever he finds will eventually get older too!

He's being very selfish and superficial, and you just don't deserve that :hug:

Aries 01-19-13 04:34 PM

abalone - I really agree with what the others' have already posted on your thread. I hope you don't mind me adding my own thoughts into this.:hug:

I'm truly sorry that he didn't and couldn't give you a real and honest explaination. However, in the long run, he's the one that's missing out on what he had. You however, will heal, in time dear, and find somebody that will understand; because they really and truly love you. While this will be a suggestion, it did help me heal, from a very painful breakup/relationship. Write him a letter. Put it all down on paper, everything you're feeling and thinking. Then, when you're finished with it, take it outside and burn the letter, in a safe place of course. While it's burning, think of yourself being 'released' from him. No, it's not something that will work overnight, but in a few days, you should feel a bit better. There's no rhyme or reasons, except for within that particular individual. Dwelling on it or trying to find an reason/explaination for what happened is not helping you right now. No, I know it's not easy. Believe me when I say this. It took me an extremely long time to come to grips with what happened to myself. Just know that he's the one that lost out on you; not the other way around.:hug: In the mean time, we are (always) here for you. :hug:

celery 01-19-13 04:36 PM

I am so sorry he said that to you:hug::hug::hug::hug:I cannot for the life of me figure out why he thought to say what he said, but if this is really how he feels, then you are better off without him.

Those words would hurt anyone to be honest, even a man! I just want to let you know that this is his opinion and it doesn't define you sweetheart!:hug:People say things and do stuff that could hurt so very much and they don't seem to see that. The best way is to see it as their opinion, not ours and not everyone else's:hug::hug:

You are beautiful and more than enough!:hug::hug:Some cannot see that, but some will. I hope you can see that too irrespective of what he has said to you:hug:We are here for you!

Notchy 01-19-13 05:41 PM


abalone 01-19-13 08:10 PM

i thank you all for your kind words. i feel like i am standing on a platform up against a wall, and the platform is sliding out from under my feet. below me is just a pit, not even a pit, an dark abyss that, without any control over my fate, i am going to fall in. and there is no end, no bottom to splat onto, no fire to burn up in, just an eternity of screaming. i've never felt this despondent. it is crippling. i have no control over my life because the feelings are dangling me from threads making me dance around trying to avoid the darkness. that sounds dramatic for me, but i am afraid. i'm trying to find something i can pinpoint so that i can kill it and make it go away so i will be better. i can not be this lost. i am continuing to type because i am afraid to stop because i will fall back into a pile and cry until i cry myself to sleep again. how much sleep can a person force on themself? to have someone who has loved you and been your best friend for 3 years to just come out and say the things he said INCLUDING i am the most important person in his life and he can't lose me as his friend. thing is that i'm left with myself and if after everything he and i went through in the beginning (i was raped) i don';t feel like i can do another significant relationship but then i'm going to be alone and pathetic and old and afraid of everything. i'm tired. :runaway::runaway::runaway:

celery 01-20-13 06:09 AM

Keep typing if you need to:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:Keep talking on here. Sometimes, responses are slow, but people here understand and are always listening.


I really am sorry that you are hurting:hug:

Dudleydoright 01-30-13 02:41 AM

I am really sorry that you are hurting. Relationships are tough enough without having someone be selfish.... He will get old one day too. Hugs<3

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