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AliceLeigh 11-09-12 12:17 AM

Perfect face
I harmed myself again tonight. I always harm my face because I hate it. I look in the mirror and think of how it should be better! It should be perfect. I start to hate it more and more until I harm my cheeks. I don't feel beautiful until then. I use bandages to them or make up. This way no one knows. I try not to but I feel like I have to in order to be pretty. Is this vain of me? Am I too obsessed with my image?

pinkcrystal29 11-11-12 02:20 PM

If you feel the need to harm yourself in order to be pretty, then yes, you are probably too obsessed with your appearance. Has someone made you feel bad about your face, or do you just feel that way on your own? I know that my dad was very critical of my appearance growing up, so it has made me very self conscious and feel like i have to look a certain way to be accepted. I know this isn't right, but I still feel that way. It's hard to undo years of damage overnight, but keep trying. Hope you start feeling better. :)

AliceLeigh 11-11-12 02:27 PM

No one really makes fun of my appearance as far as I know. I just always feel like there's something I'm missing. Some magical state that I have to reach. Pain seems to make me feel closer to that. It's like I can never be good enough to my self.

pinkcrystal29 11-11-12 02:44 PM

I know what you mean. I feel like I'm unworthy and have a hard time being good to myself too. Just know that you're not alone. I'm glad that I met you. :)

AliceLeigh 11-11-12 02:48 PM

Thanks :) I'm glad I met you too.

RevRate 12-22-12 03:50 AM

Good to know I'm not alone
I also have struggled with my appearance practically since I was a child (im 41 now). I have never been "that guy" that women fell all over despite my best efforts. To add insult to injury, I also started balding early as well due to sun poisoning on my scalp when I was in the service. As well, I have also harmed my face out of frustration and anger from feeling like I was ugly and not worthy of being recognized for who I am. Im not the best at sharing but it's good to know that Im not alone in this.

Mihaela 02-01-13 07:42 AM

Hi Alice! If you harm yourself the only thing you will achieve is making your body suffer. You may not realize it, but hurting yourself is not an option to be prettier. God left you on this world just the way you are, and in His eyes you are a beautiful person. The feeling that you get when you harm your cheeks is not happiness it's just pain. You are in deep pain Alice, like Rev. You are too harsh with your image.
Always say to yourself that you are one of a kind and unique girl, pretty just the way you are. Be more confident!

I also had problems with my image, i considered myself ugly, couldn't find a boyfriend...i was unhappy...but never turned against myself. I started to ignore everyone who had a problem with me because i knew that if i hurt myself they will make fun of me more and more. Imagine the happiness in their eyes if they ever found out that i turned against me. Just try to be surrounded by good people, who like and love you...step by step your uncertainty and the need to hurt your body will disappear.
:) You are a great girl, do not ruin what you where blessed with, an unique soul.

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