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-   -   In any other place but my own, things must be perfect. (https://www.takethislife.com/ocd/any-other-place-but-my-own-75229/)

Oubliette 08-04-12 10:35 AM

In any other place but my own, things must be perfect.
 
I find my OCD type tendencies seem to be more focused on everything outside of my room (I clean my room once a week to near perfection). I am studying to be a beautician (I think in the US they call it Esthetician) and I work in the collages salon most days.

I get in at least half an hour early every day and re-fold all the towels and linens, position all the beds so they are symmetrical...and I always find myself cursing all the other girls under my breath for not being able to carry out these tasks properly.

It really doesn't seem that hard to do, fold things properly, put dirty linen in the wash and put clean linen on the beds, yet almost all the girls are just slobs and it is really starting to bother me...to the point where I am becoming quite stressed in salon and will often re-fold things throughout the day and request I'm on specific duties just to make sure other people don't stuff it up.

When people start helping me do things I go into a mini-panic in my mind because I know about 90% of what they do I'll have to take out and re-do because they can't do it properly, yet I don't want to get on people's bad sides.

It's not just at school though, it happened today at the dentist too. I was getting a regular check up and the dentist walks out of the room and I notice a cord is slightly tangled and not sitting the same way all the other cords are. My partner knows how I can be and instantly realised what I was thinking and told me not to touch it, but I just sat there staring at it until they said we were all done and I have been imagining myself bending down and fixing it all day. I kind of hate that my partner wouldn't let me.

Is it strange to be so anal about things in other places yet seem to be quite relaxed at home? I don't consider myself to really be OCD but I seem to be developing some strange habits that's for sure....

PrairieDawn 08-04-12 03:42 PM

Hi Oubliette. Since you are noticing these things developing, do you have a way to kind of nip it in the bud? Or do you think you're okay with not being able to fix things - like with the cord. You didn't fix it (although you wished you could have). Did you feel okay about that after a while? Could you forget about it?

Oubliette 08-05-12 02:41 AM

I'm still thinking about it now. I keep thinking if I had of just bent down and fixed it yesterday then I wouldn't have had to worry about it so much. I know next time I go in it will be the first thing I look for.

I've also noticed that hygiene has become a huge concern. I've always been meticulous with my own hygiene but now I'm noticing bad breath, body odour, any kind of off-putting smells a lot more than I used to...and I can't stand them. I notice it on my partner all the time and it's really starting to stop a lot of intimacy between us.

It never really used to be an issue...I don't think I was ever this bad but it seems to be getting worse. I dunno whether it's just because of my chosen profession enlightening me to how unclean things really are...I suppose it could be that....it made me realise how slobbish people can be.

Oubliette 08-05-12 02:43 AM

and I've noticed one other thing. I always have to click the lock on my car twice...that's been a slowly developing thing but now if I don't do it I spend the rest of the day believing someone has broken into my car, of course that hasn't happened yet...but the thought of 'yet' worries me enough to continue doing this.

I thought it might have just stemmed from my anxiety because although I have gained a level of control over the anxiety it still pops up from time to time *sigh* Can I just buy a new life? this one is faulty :(

celery 08-05-12 03:10 AM

Awww...:hug::hug::hug: Your life isn't faulty, Oubliette:hug:There's always a way... It is good that you have noticed now, so hopefully you'd get some support.

I understand how difficult this is for you to an extent. I think being aware it could be OCD is what terrifies one, but that also depends on how much it interfers with your life.

I have a very sensitive nose to smells and I love order. I have itchy fingers-not literally lol-when I see pictures tilted on walls. Grrr... I want to place it right until it is well balanced. I do that in people's houses too and frankly, sometimes, I cannot help myself. I totally get what you were saying about towels. Books on my bookshelf have to be arranged in a particular way-size or height. And there's this thing with light switches...

There has to be a pattern or some order.

I don't think I have OCD personally... I don't know what people with OCD and depression are like, because I have noticed that when I am really depressed and my motivation flys out the window, these things bother me less. I look at them, get irritated, but I don't always fix them right away.

Some links that may be helpful to you...

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Anxiety UK

Obsessions | Campaign Against Living Miserably

OCD Action - The national UK charity providing support and information to anybody affected by Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

Please try not to worry too much-easier said, I know!:hug::hug:Here for you!

celery 08-05-12 03:11 AM

Ooops! Posted twice... Sorry!

communique 08-05-12 03:49 AM

From what I can tell, OCD is a kind of extreme reaction to feeling like you lack control. It's like micro-managing due to frustration elsewhere in life.

I have some weird habits. I clean my room obsessively, make it sparkle, but I leave a little shrine of chaos on my bookshelf. No organization whatsoever. Just books piled up in random ways. Some of the books are in rows, proper, and then there are piles of them breaking up the rows, and there is no rhyme or reason for any of it. Yet, I organize my clothes dresser following a strict pattern. I've found it's easy enough to break out of those routines, though, and insert some randomness as a conscious act. It's a bit irritating sometimes, but you get used to it.

For example.. when you said you have to fold linens and put them away properly, and how you don't like it when others help you because they'll do it wrong, try to adopt a higher-level concept of what "right" is in that regard. As long as it's neat, perhaps. And let other people do some of the tasks, then decide consciously that it's OK if they do it differently. Keep repeating that enough times and you'll learn to accept it as normal.

celery 08-05-12 04:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by communique (Post 817886)
From what I can tell, OCD is a kind of extreme reaction to feeling like you lack control. It's like micro-managing due to frustration elsewhere in life.

I have some weird habits. I clean my room obsessively, make it sparkle, but I leave a little shrine of chaos on my bookshelf. No organization whatsoever. Just books piled up in random ways. Some of the books are in rows, proper, and then there are piles of them breaking up the rows, and there is no rhyme or reason for any of it. Yet, I organize my clothes dresser following a strict pattern. I've found it's easy enough to break out of those routines, though, and insert some randomness as a conscious act. It's a bit irritating sometimes, but you get used to it.

For example.. when you said you have to fold linens and put them away properly, and how you don't like it when others help you because they'll do it wrong, try to adopt a higher-level concept of what "right" is in that regard. As long as it's neat, perhaps. And let other people do some of the tasks, then decide consciously that it's OK if they do it differently. Keep repeating that enough times and you'll learn to accept it as normal.

Yeah... This has been true for me too...

I'm not entirely sure if it would work for everyone, but it has helped me.

PrairieDawn 08-05-12 08:32 AM

I agree that it depends on how much it interferes with your life. If it starts to take over and is on your mind more than other things, you might want to seek treatment for it.

Regardt777 10-12-12 03:01 PM

Hi,

Compared to myself, you're probably the person I would like to be like. I also check and double check things at the dentist and I'm 10xworse than the description above. The part that freaks me totally out is when he gives me an injection. I feel like I'm getting lethal injection and that I won't live through the visit.


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