How to cope with abortion?
my title pretty much says is ...........
Actually the title is pretty vague.
More details please?
Well, I have had an abortion myself and i want to know how other people have delt with it who have had it. I bury it inside me and dont talk to it to anyone, i just try to forget it. But when i do think about it i just start to break down.
Now that ive joined this forum i would like to see how others cope ...
my abortion was 5 months ago
Lina, abortion is done for many reasons. You did not ask for this answer but I will give you a long explanation because there is an attitude amongst Americans that it is done as a way to not take responsibility to live life recklessly and disrespectfully. From my observations this is an ignorant and judgmental attitude that in no way offers women the respect, support, or dignity of making their own difficult choice for their health, their needs, their financial ability, or their own safety.
When I worked in an abortion clinic I learned from observation that no woman takes the matter lightly. Women of all colors, races, social classes, and financial abilities came in. Some were married, some were single. Some came with a friend, some with a partner, some alone. Some were older, some young. Some were silent, many looked very serious, others cried as they waited. Nobody laughed, nobody had an attitude that it was an easy answer for their frivolous lifestyle. When they were having their ultrasound to establish the details of the pregnancy, some ladies were very emotional, others looked frightened, many seemed worried.
Some ladies came in because they had a medical condition like Lupus that would kill them if they carried a baby with it. Some came because they could not afford the baby. Some came because they were raped and pregnant from the rape. Some came because they were not mentally well enough to handle the process. Some came because they had too big of a family already and could not manage another child. There were ladies whose baby had suffered fetal demise (it died in the womb). There were ladies who came from abusive homes. Ladies who were doing drugs and couldn't manage a family and an addiction. There were many many reasons, each individual to the person who came in.
How you feel is very individual, and based on your own philosophies or religious perceptions. There is no one 'right' way to feel. You may feel okay most of the time and sometimes feel bad. You may feel bad a lot. You may not feel bad at all. I think what is most healthy for you to do for yourself is to try to accept yourself for how you feel. Don't judge yourself, and don't beat yourself up for what was done or how bad you feel now. You suffered a loss, regardless of the reasons why. If you can, try to find a support group for women who have suffered a loss of a child or pregnancy near you. Sometimes they can be found through hospitals or church groups or online.
Try this online support and information:
Post Abortion Healing and Help, Post Abortion Stress Syndrome Support
National Abortion Federation: Women Who Have Abortions
Please remember, you are not a bad person. You are not worth any less after you had your pregnancy termination then you were before that. You deserve the same respect, support and care now, today, that you deserved before your medical procedure. You need support to help you adjust to your loss and to reach a healthy conclusion about how you feel now. You are a wonderful, worth while woman. This has not changed because of your choice.
I really feel your pain. Of course every situation is different but I am so sorry to hear that you are finding it hard.I recently posted a thread on here as I have been feeling so depressed after having an abortion. Everyone on here have been wonderful and have suggested different sites to go on.
I had an abortion just under a year a go and some days I can face the world and then other days I feel that I failed... but I didnt fail. I did it for the right reasons and I know that when I am ready I can try for children. It doesnt make me any less of a woman. I really thought I had been selfish but I have realised that actually I wasnt selfish at all, because I wanted my children to have a stable and grounded upbringing, settle down in a job, nice home. Nothing has to be perfect but as its the biggest responsibility in the world to have a child, you need to be sure that you are ready.
I feel that I can talk about it a lot more now then I did, but its still very hard. I find talking online a lot easier then face to face. Either way, for yourself, you need to look after you, and face it which ever way you find helps.
We are all here for you
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