Take This Life

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-   Things that make you happy (https://www.takethislife.com/things-make-you-happy/)
-   -   Do you have a one liner or short joke? (https://www.takethislife.com/things-make-you-happy/do-you-have-one-liner-short-60671/)

SaveMeJeebus 05-23-11 07:38 PM

Viewer discretion is advised.

Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

SaveMeJeebus 05-24-11 06:38 AM

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

Black Dog 06-04-11 04:01 PM

1 Attachment(s)
Quote:

Originally Posted by Semper Fidelis (Post 612867)
It takes many nails to make a crib, but only one screw to fill it.

:rofl::rofl:

I must remember that one.

Here's my effort:

I just bought a Prince Charles tea pot...it never reigns, but it pours.

Attachment 2834

brandysnap 06-07-11 07:32 AM

Patient to doctor: Doctor Doctor Ive broken my leg in 2 places

Doctor to patient: Well dont go back to those 2 places...... boom boom !

Black Dog 06-07-11 03:44 PM

Ryan Giggs.
 
"Poor" old Giggsey's press coverage over the past week or so made me think that this one liner was fairly apt:

Behind every successful man is his woman.

Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

fedup 06-08-11 06:20 AM

Facebook is like being in jail. You waste a lot of time. You write on walls and you get poked by people you don't know.

CrazyBirdLady 06-08-11 04:28 PM

Never go to sleep angry. Stay awake and plot your revenge.

Black Dog 06-11-11 11:41 AM

Each night I sleep just like a baby.............I wake up every 2 hours screaming.

CrazyBirdLady 06-11-11 11:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Black Dog (Post 619557)
Each night I sleep just like a baby.............I wake up every 2 hours screaming.


I know that feeling :biggrin:

Black Dog 06-11-11 11:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CrazyBirdLady (Post 619561)
I know that feeling :biggrin:

So do I...so do I:biggrin:


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