*Crying*
 

*Bawling hysterically and uncontrollably* I-i-i-i-i-i-i-it's all my f-f-f-f-faul everyo-o-o-one! It's all my f-f-fault that J-J-J-J-Jill h-h-h-hates me! I-i-i-it's 100% m-m-m-my f-f-f-fault! I-I-I-I-I am a l-l-lying, ch-ch-cheating, a-a-a-a-a-abusing, b-b-b-bretraying, s-s-s-soulless, h-h-h-heartbreaking m-monster! I j-j-j-just wanna c-c-cut my wr-wr-wr-wrists! I j-j-just wanna d-d-d-die! J-J-J-Jill isn't e-e-e-evil; I a-a-a-am! I'm t-t-t-trying not to k-k-k-kill myself, but it's s-s-s-s-s-so h-h-h-h-hard!

May I ask what happened? It's hard I know, but I'll be here if you want just somebody to listen. We all care here & don't want you to do anything rash, please give this site & people a chance!

Blessings!

Aries

I'm here for you
 

I'm here for you Tyler. I want to help you through all of this. So do the people on this site. You have helped so many, let them help you. You are a good person. You have so much to offer so many. Please keep us close to you.

Re: I'm here for you
 

I am, mom... *sniff*

You know I think this girl is ruining your life. If I were you I would not hang around her. Honestly, you are placing whatever sort of problems, guilt, bad things, that she is doing completely on yourself. I admire that you have some sort of uberlove for this girl but, man, look what she is doing to you. Didn't you in another post say she wanted you to die some sort of horrible violent death? I hope I'm not the only one who sort of sees this.

I said "if", and no, I'm not going to give up on her. She's the love of my life, helperdude. I appreciate your concerns, but I have to fight for who I love...

shadow

don't do this to yourself. you can't keep trying to meet some type of standards to keep this girl. you've apologized to her, done your best and have tormented yourself for weeks.

please take care of you. nobody is worth this hell (except maybe me).

seriously, lil bro, my heart is aching for what you are putting yourself through. there may be a time now where you need to just accept that it is what it is. but you know suicide is not the answer - at all. you know that.

i am here for you. as always.

irishred

ShadowAK, I'm very sorry to read that things went south again with her. This relationship has been a rollercoaster for you. I am reminded of a saying,
If you love someone, let them go. If they come back, they are yours, if they don't, they never were. The key phrase isn't the "If they come back", it is "Let them go." I know you told Helperdude that you wouldn't and couldn't do that, and I understand why, that you love Jill. I can sympathize with the pain you are feeling as well as the love for her that you feel.
Sometimes our own personal demons get in the way of what our heart wants. We sabotage ourselves. Could this be what is happening here?

I'm still sticking to my guns here. I sort of think you just can't stand to think of her in anyones arms but yours so you feel like you need to keep her even if she is totally screwing with your head. But good luck anyway.

I agree with helperdude If she wants you to die some horrable death then you should dump the bitch an find a girl who will give you the love anr respect you deserve.