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-   -   Will the pain ever stop? (https://www.takethislife.com/abuse/will-pain-ever-stop-59242/)

pixystyx 04-05-11 04:51 PM

Will the pain ever stop?
 
Growing up seems like all i ever knew was abuse, Was never good enough, Was "the reason my moms life was so bad" because if it weren't for me her life would be "so much better" and so on... much more but I can't write it yet.. hurts to this day.. Why won't it ever stop? To this day I feel like such a loser, anything goes wrong it's because I deserve it.. Some days I'm so down it's f-ing amazing, can't even cry anymore.. just empty inside.

Lightsworn 04-07-11 09:07 PM

There is light at the end
 
Its never your fault, adult soften blame children for their own mishaps and failings but its not your fault. You are your own person, you are not responsible for anyone elses short comings. I am sorry that certain ppl in your life cannot see, how precious of a gift you are to this world. Set your mind to a goal and achieve it. Be something that can bring good to this rotten world. Do not give up on us, for we wont give up on you. I know its hard, and I know its tough, bbut anytime u need to chat and vent, there are those of us who are always here. I am always willing to listen.

pixystyx 04-08-11 07:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lightsworn (Post 601302)
Its never your fault, adult soften blame children for their own mishaps and failings but its not your fault. You are your own person, you are not responsible for anyone elses short comings. I am sorry that certain ppl in your life cannot see, how precious of a gift you are to this world. Set your mind to a goal and achieve it. Be something that can bring good to this rotten world. Do not give up on us, for we wont give up on you. I know its hard, and I know its tough, bbut anytime u need to chat and vent, there are those of us who are always here. I am always willing to listen.

Thought I got away from it when i escaped her. Can never escape it, hurts to this day. If she didn't like me why didn't she just get rid of me? Why keep me around at all? Just to have someone to treat like shit? :frown:

Lightsworn 04-09-11 08:43 AM

Fear not, and think not upon it to hard. Im sure she loved you more than she and you knew. Do not focus on the negatives, no one is perfect dear, even adults make mistakes, some larger than others. But you have a chance to let go, and start a new. The past cant be erased, but you can kick its butt and say, Get behind me pass, the future is knocking at my door. COnsider your chains broken, and if not broken, consider them loose. Now is your time to take control and make a better life for yourself, one you feel you deserve. And believe me when I say this. You deserve the good life.

pixystyx 04-09-11 05:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lightsworn (Post 601725)
Fear not, and think not upon it to hard. Im sure she loved you more than she and you knew. Do not focus on the negatives, no one is perfect dear, even adults make mistakes, some larger than others. But you have a chance to let go, and start a new. The past cant be erased, but you can kick its butt and say, Get behind me pass, the future is knocking at my door. COnsider your chains broken, and if not broken, consider them loose. Now is your time to take control and make a better life for yourself, one you feel you deserve. And believe me when I say this. You deserve the good life.

Thank you for saying this, is is so nice of you. It is not that easy to change things, when it is all you know. Not too sure she loved me, that is okay, I don't need to be loved, but she could have gotten rid of me. Would that have been to much to ask? It was all I wished for my whole life. :frown:

Lightsworn 04-09-11 08:41 PM

From what I have read, and from these conversations, I can tell you are a really nice person. I am glad she didnt get rid of you, because its rare i meet nice people. I know that sounds selfish but its the truth. Take pride in the life you were given. Though times were hard, the hard times have gone away. Dream of the future, and look for the day. Her era was in the past, it was yesterday. Just as the sun sets, and the moon rises high, there is only one limit for you, and that is the sky. MY own words of encouragement, I hope you hear, you have me as a friend, so there is nothing to fear. ~The LightSworn AKA Raysean King~

pixystyx 04-09-11 09:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lightsworn (Post 601931)
From what I have read, and from these conversations, I can tell you are a really nice person. I am glad she didnt get rid of you, because its rare i meet nice people. I know that sounds selfish but its the truth. Take pride in the life you were given. Though times were hard, the hard times have gone away. Dream of the future, and look for the day. Her era was in the past, it was yesterday. Just as the sun sets, and the moon rises high, there is only one limit for you, and that is the sky. MY own words of encouragement, I hope you hear, you have me as a friend, so there is nothing to fear. ~The LightSworn AKA Raysean King~

Hi. Not too sure how nice I am, I try I guess. Just sometimes I feel so so low. hideous. Stuck in a negative cycle that is worse than you think. Not even sure why I am here. Anyway, thank you for the kind words, I really appreciate your patience.

What is a Raysean King?

Lightsworn 04-09-11 09:18 PM

Its my name ^^. In every poem I write I also mention my User name and IRL (my poet name rather). And being patient is what friends are for. Ever need to talk I am here.

pixystyx 04-09-11 09:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lightsworn (Post 601940)
Its my name ^^. In every poem I write I also mention my User name and IRL (my poet name rather). And being patient is what friends are for. Ever need to talk I am here.

Thank you for being patient. It is very hard for me to let my feelings out, I am afraid to sometimes. Keep things bottled up, so the world doesn't know. not even sure why I am here.

Lightsworn 04-09-11 09:32 PM

Its best to let them out with people you feel close to, or feel will understand and listen to you. Do not fear opening up to the world, there still exist some good people out there. We are just hard to find. Good people are an endangered species ya know ^^. Anyway, point is anytime you need to talk or vent, or just let it all out. Or even if you just want a few chuckles and laughs, we are all here for you. Our job is not to judge, but to listen. So sit back and just smile today, because you made a new friend. ME!


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