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MiamiHeat87 09-27-10 11:02 PM

Friend wants to commit suicide and has very strong logical reasons
 
Just so you know, his work was contacted and his family knows. And he has already attempted TWICE. The dad and sister thought nothing of it until recently.

He plans to do so again in the future. He told the sister he will attempt again, but said he will be alive for now. His girlfriend has brought him papers with suicide and doctors info. for help and is with him as well. Only his sister has talked to him but she told me and the parents.

Parents have not talked to him yet because they are trying to get daughter to do what she can. They don't want him to feel betrayed as he has only confided in her and his girlfriend so far.

He is safe at the moment. And I made plans with him Friday after I found but pretended I didn't know. We are like brothers so i'm sure we will hang out. The girlfriend told his work.

He is going to talk to the Vice President of our Hospital tomorrow, and Baptist is a very quality place and i'm sure they will help. They are very professional with many professionals available. We have called the SUICIDE hotline, and we have the options escalating in order of:

1.) Family Talk 2.) Crisis mobile 3.) Police/Doctors take him away.

Now the only reasons i'm posting here is because my ex-girlfriend was able to find his true reasons for wanting too after forcing it out of him basically. Well his reasons are very logical and when I heard it myself it made perfect sense. If I was in his same position, i'd be thinking the same. His reasons are:

1.) My life depends on pills
2.) I'm always in pain
3.) I'm tired of taking pills
4.) I sleep all day

Basically this guy has been in and out hospitals CONSTANTLY since he was a kid. He is now 32. He can't even stay in school or attend work consistently because of his various conditions.

He is extremely smart. I'm not saying this in a "I love him" kind of way, but I mean he is smart. His intellect is above everyone I know as well as myself. Not smart in a nerdy useless way, but very practical way that can get you extremely far in life. Except he has been sick all his life. This guy is literally in the hospital several times a year. He has been in.. around 5 times this year I think for various things.

Seeing it like this.. I can understand why suicide is an option. Life just seems to painful and suicide is the only release. A common saying as that "Suicide is a permanent problem to a temporary solution". Well how about a chronic illness that just doesn't go away?

Can someone help? Does someone know the right thing to say? Should he even try to live? When I think about it.. it's like letting someone who is always suffering live. Is that ethical? Is it ethical to commit suicide? Sigh.

I hope something on here can help shed some light.

brokedown 09-27-10 11:36 PM

What does he suffer from illness wise?

DepressionFromAllAngles 09-28-10 02:48 AM

First of all, if the way he feels was justification for suicide many people here would probably be justified in taking their lives, including myself. That being sad, it is selfish to want somebody to live in pain so you don't have to deal with their death. On the other hand, you should never endorse anyone's suicide.

Here is my experience.
My best friend and I grew up very depressed. We talked about suicide all of the time. When he went to college it got much worse and he tried to kill himself. I intervened via the police and saved his life. We never talked about it but I could tell he resented me for it. Six months later he drove back home spontaneously and gave me a call. I hung out with him for the next day and a half and then the next day he took his life.

While I'm glad he is no longer suffering I hate myself every day for not noticing the obvious signs and stopping him. I can, however, live with myself because I did everything I could. I think if you just condone your friend's suicide instead of doing what you can to help him cope you will regret it for the rest of your life. It is very difficult to think of the right thing to say in these situations but if you just try, that can help. Talk to him about how he feels becaue that is the only true way to get to the root of the problem.

thepeanutlord 09-28-10 03:29 PM

I think that your friend at least needs to know that you genuinly and truly care for him. The four reasons listed is likely not the whole truth. He might feel alone and not understanded, by making it clear that you love and respect him he might get some motivation to hang on a little longer.

Hilda 09-28-10 04:12 PM

Wow...these reasons sound like a reason to get your medications adjusted, not to kill yourself! I agree...I would do everything to stop him, not just decide it's inevitable.

depressed 09-28-10 08:26 PM

i think you should try to get him see the reality. there are a lot of people in this world with chronic conditions that are in a lot of pain everyday and have to pop a bunch of pills in order to cope and be in and out of hospitals. yet, they're still alive and making the best of it. i have friends who are dealing with that everyday. they are depressed but they haven't attempted suicide although one of them has thought of it. the reason they hold on is for their family and loved ones and various other reasons. he may not be able to go to school full-time or work on a consistent basis but he is not helpless either. people should try to make the best of their circumstances. i'm really depressed and there are so many days that i do not want to get up at 5 something in the morning and go to work, especially when i have suicidal thoughts, but i somehow manage to find the strength to go on.

MiamiHeat87 09-28-10 11:05 PM

Thanks fro the replies. It does enlighten a little and shows more that can be done. Showing they are not alone with their illness, having their medication adjusted and showing there are those that want him here.

I'm not sure what he suffers from.

brokedown 09-29-10 09:17 PM

I can only tell you how I feel when I discuss my thoughts of ending it with others. I don't really want to be talked out of it. I don't want anyone to tell me they know how I feel unless they really have felt the same way. I much rather someone say I can't fully understand what you are going through but I can imagine you must be in a lot of pain to feel that way. I also don't like being guilted about feeling the way I do. I already feel guilty enough. Being called a coward or that I would be taking the easy way out only makes it more difficult. I also don't like being told about how many people I will hurt. I already know and feel horrible enough about it.

I would maybe just tell your friend what you like about him and maybe try to talk about good times you've had with him. Maybe not even address his feelings about ending it. This is only my opinion though.

Sweetheart93 10-15-10 10:14 PM

Ehh... Those don't sound like very good reasons to me. Some people have cancer and HIV and do everything they cant to fight their illnesses and make the best of their lives. Many of those people do have enjoy their lives overall. It's possible to have many illnesses and be happy. If he's spiraled into a depression, then depression is now the illness that needs to be fought. Statistics show that over 90% of people who want to die have a mental illness at the time of their death.

Phosphorus17 10-20-10 08:46 PM

Suicide should not be an option. The reasoning for this is that, simply, the pain will go away with enough time, and suicide cannot go away.

The goal of all people is to accumulate the greatest amount of happiness in life.


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