Report members who share personal contact information or offer support in private
Please do not ask members to contact you personally.
We encourage our members to post about their issues on the forum. Personal messages are not to be used to give/receive support. Doing so puts a lot of pressure on the members involved, and also gives the person in need of help less support than he/she could gain by posting on the forums. In addition, the responsibility of this kind of one on one support can be overwhelming and it is in the best interests of both members to keep support issues on the forum.
Please see the guidelines:
Oops, does this mean we cannot offer invitation for people to private message us on here? I find getting to know the other members and making friends helps to support this community and offer a more personal side by giving one on one discussion as well as open.
You are allowed to talk about light-hearted issues with other members, but we do not allow giving/receiving support via pm.
As Amie said, this puts a lot of pressure on the persons involved. Sometimes members do not have the energy or ability to offer support to others. It is important that members do not feel obligated to respond to other members. Putting too much pressure on members via pm or chat can drive supportive and caring members away from TTL, and lead to them not getting support themselves. If you need immediate help, please seek help by calling a suicide or other hotline, or contact the local health services. If a member is asking for depression support via pm or chat, please tell them to post on the forum or to call a hotline. TTL is not a place to seek professional support, and we ask that our members keep this in mind.
In addition to this, it is important to keep your anonymity for your own safety and protection. We do not allow posting of any personal contact information for that reason.
Many members post in Banter to chat with other members to get to know them better and make friends.
But pming for just chatting and talking/keeping up is fine though?
I can understand the not allowing personal help from another member but making friends with other members and have private chats with them is ok, right? The safety issue and all makes sense but I just wanted to make sure it's fine for members to interact with one another freely? I feel meeting and talking with others who are dealing with the same struggles to be one of the things that really helps this place work.
This post is about when one member is taking on the responsibility of completely counseling another correct? Just making sure n.n.
Yes, I think you understand it correctly. For instance, it's OK to send a PM to a member you haven't heard from in a while to say something like "So did you get that job?" or "Did you listen to that song I suggested to you?"
The only part I want to clarify is where you said:
I hope that clears things up,
I want all of you to stay safe here on TTL, so I want to remind you all to please:
Maintain Your Anonymity
* Do NOT share your contact information online
* Do NOT meet up with other members off the forum
* Report contact information requests to the TTL Team
The guidelines state:
Do not trust everyone you meet online
We want you all to be safe here, and sharing your personal contact information online and meeting strangers in person can put you and your family at risk. Most of our members are caring, supportive and honest people. However, sadly, sites such as TTL is sometimes visited by people who may take advantage of the vulnerable states of our members - for their own purposes. Even if you talk to someone here, and they seem like a really nice person, there is a chance that they may not be who they claim to be. As TTL is a website where anybody can register, we may at any time be visited by members with less honorable intentions.
I do not want to scare you, but we have had some people joining the site previously who stalked members, continued to contact them in private even if they didn't want them to, threatened to kill themselves if the member didn't continue to talk to them, threatened to kill others or commit other violence, and even assaulted another member off the site - to the extent of being prosecuted for it. The TTL Team do all that we can to prevent this from happening, but we can only do so much. You need to take preventive measures yourself.
Report members who encourage personal contact
If a member asks for your contact information, offers personal support, suggests that you should talk in private or meet off the forum, gives you or other members sexual attention, or in other ways makes you feel uncomfortable or unsafe, PLEASE let the moderating team know about it.
We want you all to be safe here, and we do NOT want any of you to be subjected to people who could hurt you or make you uncomfortable. As stated in the guidelines we also do not allow members to seek personal support in PM or chat. It may put tremendous pressure on you and the other member if you attempt to be each others only line of support. In addition, you will not receive as much support in private as if you post on the forum where all members can help, and where the moderating team can intervene if necessary.
You can report issues to the moderating team by clicking on the report button next to a post or PM, or make a new thread in the Contact Moderators forum. No issue is too small to report to us.
Help us protect other vulnerable members
If a person urges you to contact them off the site, or in other ways makes you uncomfortable, it is likely that they are doing this to other members as well.
We have members who are minors here, who may be at risk of being contacted by adults who intend to harm them. Children may not realize that giving out their contact information can put them at risk, and they may not know what is appropriate adult behavior. Reporting incidents to us will help not only you, but all other members to stay safe here.
We take all reports seriously, and treat them confidentially. If you report someone, they will not know that you reported them unless you tell them so yourself. We also do not take action against a member unless we need to, so you can report incidents to us even if you are unsure that they violate the guidelines. Sometimes small incidents can contribute to a larger picture, and we will be able to take action before someone gets hurt.
Please stay safe on and off the forum
I urge you all not to share your contact information with anybody here on the forum, or other people you meet online. Please also think twice before you decide to meet up in person with someone you have only talked to online. Not being careful can hurt you more than you may think. If you decide to meet a stranger, even someone you have talked to for several years, never meet them alone, but bring a friend or family member with you. If this is not possible, be sure to meet in a public place where there are other people around.
Please stay safe. Never share your contact information with other members, and please do report incidents to us. Your safety is important to me.
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