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-   -   today is the day it reactivated full force (https://www.takethislife.com/ocd/today-day-reactivated-full-force-37336/)

PheonixBomb 03-14-10 03:25 AM

today is the day it reactivated full force
 
It's been like this all day. First it started out with regular sadness. Then it kept withdrawing, coming back stronger. Now its 4am, I feel jumpy, like I've been drinking coffee. I felt desperate so I posted on another site that is completely anonymous (not even usernames), told them the thread I made earlier today.


One of the posters there mentioned Cluster B Personality Disorders. All of them seem to fit me in one way or another, which I guess is odd, officially I've only been diagnosed with social anxiety and OCD. So I post a thread about what people think of BPD thinking I have it (among the other two, Histrionic and Narcissistic), I already regret it.

I can't sleep, I feel physically sick...
I haven't been telling my therapist everything going through my mind, I suppose its easier to be honest when one is completely anonymous.

I don't know why I am even posting this, it's always like this, days like this are filled with end of the world panic. Right now, I feel no one can really help or it doesn't come fast enough. I only see my therapist in 2 weeks if I'm lucky. I must have posted about the same similiar topic in 6 sites at least so far today (not this post, the other one I made) The next day I struggle to remember what I was thinking...

What the hell is wrong with me??? Why is entire body shaking?
I can't stop overthinking, like I have more disorders than I thought, so now I'm even more pathetic and repulsive to the outside world...

memorable32 02-19-11 08:20 PM

hi phoenix :smile:

before you start to worry about personality issues and psychiatry and what not, have you considered that your body is acting naturally? maybe you are going through some difficult times, the only thing that works is laying down, make some warm tea to drink, tell yourself its going to be alright, trust in yourself.. goodluck.


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