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-   -   letters to my mom..she hasnt read the... (https://www.takethislife.com/creative-depression-writing/letters-my-mom-she-hasnt-read-354/)

deathwillcomex/3 07-06-06 04:23 PM

letters to my mom..she hasnt read the...
hey mom..
umm...i dont know what to say
im soo broken..and it is because of you..
you wont grow up and relieze that you love me more then a beer..and that hurts more then any thing
i have been dreaming about you so much latley
and all you do in the dreams is leave me and we fight...like we used to all night long
i ask god to help me..but its not working because your not asking...
i do forgive you i do but the pain is still there...and idk...
i feel like i dont know you and i know that you dont know me
i know that you are trying..but you always do something to push me farther away
when i am asking you to not drink it is not a comand it is a favor
i truly feel is when the only time you where there in the past years is when i was sitting there begging for you ..but then you wnet away agina..and the time i was laying there on the nurses cott from taking to many pills..so that i would die
i told you it was anaccident
but it wasnt mom
it was what i wanted
sometimes lik enoe..i still do
but i know that it is wrong
i hope for things like these to wake you up
but it probly wont
nothing will untill you yourself wake up
you dont understand...i know i cant take the world on without you
but i will be ready to for when you do leave me
i say this because right now i know that you wont stop hurting me..
you wont stop the drinkning
and i cant take it any more
i cant it takes me down further and further every single time you take a sip
if you still feel like i am a child telling an adult what to do..
then i am sorry
you tell me to give respect to you because you are my mother
but you dont have it..
you have to earn that ..and you havnt
and that hurts me...soo badley..
i havnt been able to cry for a long time
but me writting this i am crying...
and it hurts..but makes me relieved at the same time
so mom i am going to ask you one more time and this is it..
i truly dont think that i can take it any more
it will probly hurt more then it does now if you do go but i will take the chance..
please stop drinkning...you say that you are ok but it still hurts
to know that i cant live with my own mother because of something
something that reuined a life....
sleep less nights..i have had enough i need to sleep so please help
and relive this pain...
i love you mom and i want you safe
so please stop for the final time
for this is the finale time i am asking
So mom what do you say are you going stop my pain and give up the alchoal and be with me..or would you like to live the life that you are livving...but in this life you will not have a daughter to love...

hey mom
i guess this is good bye
because you told me not to callyou anymore
im sorry
im sorry for everything i have coused you
i am sorry for the pain i gave you
im sorry for thelife that i made you have
i am sorry for givving you the problem that you have
i am sorry that i am the worst daughter that you could
ever have
im sorry for wantting to die because of you
im sorry that you had me
do you forgive me?
because i dont
i dont forgive myself because i lost my moother
ii lost the war that i was fighting
and it might seem that i gave up
but i didnt you did
you wouldnt try
you wouldnt care
you lied you didn cry
you dont feel pain
you donnt care about me
you dont have the right to tell me no
i wont be with you ever again
it is good bye
for i have lost my mother the mother that gave birth
to me
so these is my time to find a new mother
because you wonnt take care of me
so i am sry..
because of these i am sorry!!!
so please forgive mme

shadowAKA086 07-08-06 02:36 AM

:cry: Oh my... oh big sister... *Hugs*...

sugarbooger 07-15-06 08:45 PM

hey I know just how you feel. My mom drank all my life and walked out and never looked back when I wae 16. I didn't even know if she was dead or alive for a year and when I found out where she was, we still had no contact for years. I have children of my own and I have always wondered how someone can just walk out on thier kids. So my heart aches for you. My mom is now old and sick and from 3 daughters I am the only one who will care for her. If anyone knows how you are feeling I sure do. If you need a friend I will be there for you anytime. My e-mail is [email protected] if you need someone to talk to or just listen. Just don't let here mistakes eat you alive, cause the choses she makes are her own and has nothing to do with you!!!

HUGS :!:

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