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soundsplease 11-04-09 12:15 AM

never knew my dad
my dad died when i was three from a heart attack. fifteen years later i'm still wondering what he was like. i've heard he was funny, musical, and he had really curly hair (like me). as cliche as this sounds, i feel like there is a huge space in my heart. i get emotional on fathers day, and seeing kids with their fathers or when people complain about their fathers constantly. not meaning to be selfish or anything. i just wish that i could be the one complaining. what i wouldn't give to hear him say my name, or say he loves me.
i've lost a lot of other people too. after my dad died we moved in with my mom's mom. we lived with her for the rest of her life. five years ago she got cancer, and my family watched her slowly disintegrate in front of our eyes. she was the closest thing i had to a second parent.

i miss them so much. i'm starting to forget my grandmother, and i never knew my dad.

Delta40 11-04-09 07:01 AM

(((((tender hugs)))))

be the man you imagine your father to have been. Embrace his qualities and attributes as gifts to yourself and to honour him.

Momma Mouse 11-04-09 07:49 AM

Delta, what a beautiful and perfect answer.

rachel7291 08-10-10 03:14 PM

sounds please, i have a simliar situation to yours, i lost my dad to suicide when i was 4 and every day i wonder what he was like i have no memory of him all i know is that he liked wordsearch because in a picture of us he has a wordsearch book in his picture, i then went on to loose my auntie and my dad's mum and dad 6 months apart then my grandad after that, i also hate it when others complain about their dad it makes me want to make the most of what i have with my mum but i cant get close to her at all and i hate seeing her because she used to abuse me and i love her to bits its so hard but yeah basically your not alone. *hugs*

joe716 08-10-10 04:39 PM

I am unable to relate to your loss, but I feel for you.

My hope is that you have other people in your life that can help you get through.

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