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-   -   Does your loved one lose affection for you when depressed (https://www.takethislife.com/troubled-loved-ones/does-your-loved-one-lose-affection-30574/)

1066 10-28-09 10:25 AM

Does your loved one lose affection for you when depressed
 
I am interested to know if anyone else has this experience where their depressed loved one loses affection for you and your children and if they do does it return when they recover

Thanks

brandysnap 10-28-09 10:54 AM

hi 1066 - welcome to TTL

you dont give many details about your loved one - but generally when someone is depressed they lose interest in most things - sometimes this can be loved ones too.

Im not an expert but if your loved one is depressed - has he seen a doctor for confirmation and help he?she. IT CAN BE A VERY DEBILITATING ILLNESS and wish you the best.

BRANDY

1066 10-28-09 11:17 AM

Sorry should have explained more - my wife was diagnosed with severe depressionnearly three months ago and is on medication - the doctor thinks she may have suffered from a milder form of depression for some time - she was also diagnosed with iron deficiency at the same time

She is in quite a bad way and it has become for me like I am a one parent family with 3 kids and 1 stranger in the house - but I have learnt a lot about her illness and understand that how she is is because of it and not actually her - but the affection side of things is hard to deal with - I love her very much and now just want her to get better and hope she will get her feelings back when she is better

brandysnap 10-28-09 11:33 AM

HI 1066

yes IT MUST BE HARD FOR YOU HAVING TO COPE WITH 3 CHILDREN WHILE YOUR WIFE IS TRYING TO COPE WITH DEPRESSION.

you sound like a very caring person and i hope you will find the support you need here - I dont know for sure how things will go for your wife in the future as depression is different for everyone, but i wish you the very best.

Are you gettting any kind of support - i.e. family .... or friends?

1066 10-28-09 05:58 PM

A degree of support but they do not understand it very well

I was really wondering whether the affection side of things was a common symptom with depression I have heard it is and was interested to find out anyones expreriences - both from the sufferer and from anyone dealing with a loved one

mickymoo 10-28-09 06:42 PM

I have depression and think iv drive my love one away as she dont come round as must as she use to, I feel iv drive a wedge between us and the love we had as gone and now she care but not love any more. I reaaly dont know.

bluelagoon 11-02-09 06:57 PM

I would have to answer yes to that question. I know it can be hard to understand and difficult to cope with at times but sometimes talking about it to your loved one can help. Or if not then talking to some other member of your support network. Just make sure that you recognise how you are feeling in the situation and seek support.
Personally I found that the person regains there feelings and connects with people once they start on the road to recovery. The distance will be bridged but it will take time and patience.

1066 11-04-09 05:05 AM

Thanks Bluelagoon your words are very helpful and do provide me with hope

hottea654 11-11-09 12:34 AM

Clearly I am late to find this post so I hope you come back and read still.

I was married to a sailor for 5 years whose depression and another condition really sundered the relationship. I have been divorced for 5 years and miss him still to be honest... but I think that depression alone really, really does make a person lose interest in you while they are going through that. In my marriage with my husband going through that as well as for myself when I have been depressed, I have experienced that it comes back when the depression lifts. Sometimes there is a change in how we interact especially at first. It is almost a subdued feeling to the love when the person climbs out of the depression. They still love but it sort of has to 'warm up' again after a person gets back to feeling more like him/herself.

You are very strong and determined to hold it all together like you are. I applaud your diligence, love and devotion to your family and spouse. Stay strong...

~Hottea

1066 11-11-09 02:58 AM

Thank you hottea654 - I do keep coming back to this in the hope others will add comments - this really does help me knowing it is a symptom does give me the strength to carry on and keep faith that she will recover and regain her feelings


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