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-   -   I have autoimmune disorder and it’s getting worse. (https://www.takethislife.com/depression/i-have-autoimmune-disorder-s-getting-289150/)

InSearchOfPeople 09-01-19 08:46 PM

I have autoimmune disorder and it’s getting worse.
 
My last labs came back pretty bad. I was diagnosed as a child. Being a child I didn’t know anything, my mom didn’t care or purposefully wanted me to be sick cause she never loved me, hated me and is jealous of me in a very subtle insidious way that took me years to figure out.

I wanted to die for most of my life. Never had the guts to go through with it and now being spiritual I can’t do it.

This labs are showing, that my body is practically killing me from within, slowly but surely. I programmed it to do that, my parents did that to me. It’s like: hey, you didn’t want me, so I’ll just die, and the body was like: you got it! so here you are sick with no ways for treatment.
But I don’t want to suffer years and years...

That’s just so ...can’t think of a word. I guess, be careful what you wish for.

tigerlover 09-03-19 10:38 AM

NO,you're not a child,i have a cousin who was always put down by his parents which said==we did not wanted you to be born==his older brother was all his mom adored and he was put down big way==he suffered his own way on this but how can parents in Gods name forsake their own offspring?very often this ordeal so to speak creates huge issues of low self esteem,guilt,and trauma...and who's to blame==the parents who did not have the guts to love a child they brought into life??horrible..:eek: i believe there is nothing wrong with you,but the culprit and the wrong one is your Mom,sorry to say that..do not die,or do anything stupid,maybe now you're in turmoil,but our life path can change,
forget about your kin,forget about you Mom..if you're spiritual your soul will never die==you say**but I don’t want to suffer years and years...**you ill not suffer if you can choose for the right path==forget about the upsets,discard negativity,not always easy,but try

stirfry 09-09-19 09:20 PM

InSearchOfPeople, how do you feel right now, physically and otherwise? Just how is it now?

SensualGirl 09-09-19 11:49 PM

I'm so sorry ISOP!

InSearchOfPeople 09-22-19 03:09 PM

Thank you peeps for your support. I feel and look like crap. Dealing with so many things at the same time is not easy. I keep wondering if it EVER gets easier, seems like it only get worse from here.


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