Anxiety over socialising
Anxiety over socialising, I mean like iíve Always been shy although Iím really friendly Just this anxiety is kicking my ass when around people does anyone have tips on how I can cope with this when it comes on so I can kick anxietyís ass?
Also could you tell me what wouldn’t work or make the anxiety worse when I’m in a social situation so that I can avoid doing it
For me the most helpful things to combat anxiety have been:
1. Mindfulness Meditation
2. Studying "Small Talk" and developing a "Question Bank"
3. Studying "Body Language"
For Mindfulness Meditation, try for one minute, return your focus to the present moment, and when your mind wanders, return your focus to the present moment.
Do that for about 2 months, extend the time to 2 minutes, 3, 5, up to 15. After about 2 months should notice some changes in the brain, strengthens certain parts having to do with how we react to a given situation; strengthens a part which allows us to chose between reacting emotionally or reacting rationally.
For "Small Talk", Question Bank I started with is TIME: past, present, future. What did you do? What are you doing? Do you have any plans for <later>. Later could be this afternoon, this evening, tomorrow, this weekend. Past could be earlier today, yesterday, last weekend. e.g. Did you do anything fun last weekend? Do you have any plans for this weekend?
Studying that subject also helped me realize when other people are applying the principles of Small Talk on me. It's just an excuse to talk, not necessarily an exchange of information. (e.g. A comment about the weather is just an ice breaker. Yes I can see the weather myself,--it becomes a shared experience by mentioning it. Now we have something in common, we both experienced the weather.)
Studying "Body Language" helped me become more aware of my own body language, so now I am more careful what I'm saying with my body position. Also deciphering other people's body language helps give me clues about their mental state.
Of them all, meditation was the biggest one which actually changed my brain in good ways, made me more calm, more able to deal with situations, and better able to decompress after situations. Also the most time consuming, like exercise, I don't do it as much as I should, but the little I do is helpful.
There may be a meditation group in town. Buddhist places often have meditation groups or classes. There are apps on cell phones for meditation. Some are guided meditations. 'Headspace' is one. (They've changed their app so it's different now. There are some short animated videos explaining meditation by Headspace on Youtube.)
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