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-   -   Should I admit to younger brother to being afraid of a girl? (https://www.takethislife.com/anxiety/should-i-admit-younger-brother-being-289024/)

Chad2 06-27-19 12:40 AM

Should I admit to younger brother to being afraid of a girl?
 
Hi I have a anxiety ridden situation to deal with. My younger brother has recently started playing soccer and he wants me to go to his games and practices. The fact is though, one of his teammates is the brother of a girl who about 4 yrs ago when I was 17 who I ended up getting into a high school drama induced argument with over something stupid eventually lead to a scuffle where in the end she ended up getting the best of me & beat me up pretty bad.. I'm worried about going to his games and seeing her there and eventually somehow he finds out that she beat me up. He looks up to me a lot and will wonder why I don't go to any games. Plus I'm worried about what he'll think of me if he finds out that the sister of one of his teammates beat up his big brother?
Am I over thinking this and making to big a deal out of it? I keep wondering if he'll think less of me now especially since he'll probably have a million questions about it. I worry about him being ashamed especially if I have to admit to still being afraid of her. Or is there a chance that it's not as big a deal these days and he won't think much of it? Thank for any suggestions!

jackatwork7 07-01-19 02:14 AM

That's pretty tough.

In the end, situations only have as much power over us as we give them. When someone laughs or alienates us in some way, the natural reaction can be to give in, feel shame and show it, etc.

However, if it doesn't appear to bother you, it should go away. Not at first and not quickly. However, laughing with it can help...being prepared and making light of it.

If it does come up, you could blow it off...laugh along with it, shake hands and apologize to the person. Be friendly (it's hard for most people to continue being a jerk in that scenario).

Then, in private, you would explain things to your brother.

In the end, things happen to everyone in our lives...we all go through events (if you live long enough) that can be troubling, shaming, embarrassing, etc. By your brother seeing this and understanding this truth from you, it might provide him more strength as well.

When those who look up to us see our faults, there does tend to be a disappointment, but it also opens the door to strengthen those relationships with more than the self-delusions we tend to create for people we love.

That's all a lot of talk and just my opinion, but hope it helps

Chad2 07-01-19 02:40 AM

Thanks Jack. Yeah I must of went over the whole scenario in my mind a few dozens time on how I'll react when he finds out. I think the best thing to do would try and blow it off and try to make light of it like you said, but it's really going to be interesting & awkward once he finds out that I got beaten up badly by a girl. At first he'll probably be in disbelief but I'm sort of afraid to deny it happened too in case she gets mad & want to scrap again, but I don't think that would happen but you never know. I just hope it doesn't shatter his whole image of me once he finds out & thinks less of me. The best case scenario would be that he might not think it's a big deal, but knowing him I doubt it.


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