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WinnerButLoner 03-23-19 07:55 AM

Teens who seek solitude may know what's best for them, research suggests
Teens who choose to spend time alone may know what's best for them, according to new research that suggests solitude isn't a red flag for isolation or depression.

The key factor is choice, say researchers at the University of California, Santa Cruz, and Wilmington College: When solitude is imposed on adolescents and young adults, whether as punishment or as a result of social anxiety, it can be problematic. But chosen solitude contributes to personal growth and self-acceptance, they found.

"Solitude has gotten a lot of bad press, especially for adolescents who get labeled as social misfits or lonely," said Margarita Azmitia, professor of psychology at UC Santa Cruz and coauthor of a new paper in the Journal of Adolescence. "Sometimes, solitude is good. Developmentally, learning to be alone is a skill, and it can be refreshing and restorative."

Most previous studies confounded solitude with loneliness or shyness, said Azmitia. "There's a stigma for kids who spend time alone. They're considered lacking in social skills, or they get labeled 'loners,' " she said. "It's beneficial to know when you need to be alone and when you need to be with others. This study quantifies the benefits of solitude and distinguishes it from the costs of loneliness or isolation."

When adolescents and young adults choose to spend time alone, solitude can provide an opportunity for self-reflection, creative expression, or spiritual renewal. But it can be challenging when it is imposed on them—when they opt out of social engagement because they lack friends, feel awkward, experience social anxiety, or are being punished, said Thomas.

To distinguish between these motivations, Thomas and Azmitia developed a 14-item survey that asked respondents to rate their motivations for solitude on a four-point scale, posing questions like, "I feel energized when I spend time by myself," and "I enjoy the quiet," versus "I feel uncomfortable when I'm with others," and "I regret things I say or do when I’m with others."

"We got clear results that are pretty reliable indicators of adaptive versus maladaptive solitude," said Thomas. Those who seek solitude because they feel rejected or want to retreat into isolation are at greater risk of social anxiety, loneliness, and depression, and they tend to have lower levels of identity development, autonomy, and positive relationships with others. In contrast, those who seek solitude for positive reasons, such as self-reflection or a desire for peace and quiet, face none of these risks.

Today's fast-paced, device-driven culture emphasizes being connected to friends and associates 24/7, and young people have little practice learning to manage their time alone productively. Imposed solitude is more problematic for adolescents, who often worry about being rejected by their peers or friends or fear that being alone means they are unpopular. However, the capacity for solitude blossoms in young adults, the researchers found.

"These results increase our awareness that being alone can be restorative and a positive thing," said Thomas. "The question is how to be alone without feeling like we're missing out. For many people, solitude is like exercising a muscle they've never used. You have to develop it, flex it, and learn to use time alone to your benefit."

Solitude serves the same positive functions in introverts and extroverts. "Introverts just need more of it," noted Thomas.

"Our culture is pretty biased toward extroversion," she said. "When we see any sign of shyness or introversion in children, we worry they won't be popular. But we overlook plenty of well-adjusted teens and young adults who are perfectly happy when alone, and who benefit from their solitude."

Both researchers encouraged parents to appreciate the benefits of solitude for their children. "Parents can help their children understand that being alone isn't bad. It doesn't mean nobody likes you," said Azmitia. "Solitude can improve the wellbeing of kids who are overstimulated. They can learn to regulate their behavior, on their own, without being told to."

"We need to build our cultural understanding that we don't have to be social all the time," said Azmitia. "Sometimes alone time is good time."

SensualGirl 03-24-19 12:47 PM

Loner pride!:thumbsup:

tigerlover 03-25-19 01:40 PM

nice entry about solitude really==of course it's perhaps a different factor with teens because they are more affected by mood swings,but even adults have a choice?or no choice?to be or feel solitude in that sense that it borders their seclusion attitudes,no social contact etc...i reckon it can be a joy for some or a pain for others to feel different..
depression is often a factor...i got friends who go through borderline and i think they got issues coping with life and everything about it,they sure do not feel allright with anyone,is it?very often depression,or any mental issue like schizoid,social isolation,avoidant personality desorders etc..effectively lead to a tendency of withdrawal,isolation,
reclusion...i know people with hundred facebook friends and still wanna be loners,emotionally distant ..i bet the reason for it is a certain life philosophy,being introverted,or simply just uncontrollabe mental issues where they have no grip on themselves?i bet being solitary can be very benificial if one can cope with being or feeling that way,but on the other hand it often can lead to stress,low self esteem,insomnia,confusion, or even feeling so detached from anything that one loses grip with reality

WinnerButLoner 03-26-19 03:19 AM

The main factor is: does the person DESIRE to be alone, or not? Mental disorders go hand in hand or arise from the latter, the former can include people with mental disorders, but healthy minded people can choose solitude and be better because of it. I personally suffer more in the company of others, I know or should know better than to let anyone get close to me, I'm too easily triggered with people constantly in my space.

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