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-   -   How do you make an old friend a new love (https://www.takethislife.com/love-relationships/how-do-you-make-old-friend-288436/)

PheonixPhantom 10-27-18 08:31 PM

How do you make an old friend a new love
 
So there’s a girl I went to high school with we were always friends but towards graduation I started to see her in a different light but things just didn’t align well anyway long story short her as of now EX bf just got exposed for the jackass he always was and then i saw her singing in a band one night and these feelings just came rushing back so a couple of weeks ago she sang in this band again she had just recently recovered from a big knee surgery and this was her first public performance with them since the completion of her recovery...i had pretty much already planned to see her this day to support her as a friend before I found out through this other person the newlywed wife of a new member to the band who also happens to be my friend but not as long as her about how bad her now ex BF was and the extent of things

so we get there and simply put the local news kinda underestimated the rain that was coming in there was no lightning so the show went on as they say but with the wind and the temperature continuing to drop as time went on things were continuing to get more painful that I bargained for

In the is fate on my side or not file one of the friends i was sitting with (who is unaware of my intentions) was so wound up with the cold and wet air it was just too much and I just needed a break from him so I decided to hang closer to the stage for a few minutes and there she is doing a sound check!! I start with a standard hi how have you been in lieu of an opening act they were having people doing karaoke until it was time for them to start she said i was awesome which meant a lot not only for obvious reasons but because I actually hadn’t had the chance to sing on stage in a while(we were both in theater in high school you see) i told her she was going to crush it tonight she said thank you I tried to leave with a simple “you look pretty “ but a drunk guy started on a spiel right by me so i cant say wether she heard me or not

Halfway through the show the wind and rain were getting to be too much and everyone was giving up but on the way home I posted this on Facebook

“We braved the chilly fall air to see [NAME OF BAND REMOVED BECAUSE I JUST DONT WANT HER NAME OR ANYTHING LEADING TO HER IDENTITY OUT THERE ] rock it out @ [NAME OF FESTIVAL] ! It was still a blast [PERSON WHO WAS TALKING ABOUT HER BF] and I even got to open for them!!! We saw [OTHER FRIEND WHO JUST HAPPENED TO BE THERE] there too. [MY OTHER FRIEND IN THE BAND] and the rest of the band rocked it as usual. We attended the performance to support [HER NAME HERE (note where her name is said I tagged her)] who ive known since high school theatre . She was always a remarkable talent who could brighten up a room this was her first public show with the band after recovering from a grueling knee surgery but if you had seen her out on that stage you would have had no idea she rocked that stage like she was right at home looking and sounding as beautiful as always.(this is all true) I am very proud to know her and look forward to seeing more of her with [OTHER FRIEND] and [THE REST OF THEM] in the future but maybe they can book some indoor dates soon lol 😆

She gave the post a heart reaction keep in mind that it was approaching midnight on a cold wet day where she had been singing on a stage for 2-3 hours

The next day consisted mainly of people posting on Facebook about the weather being crappy but her and the show in general being good I commented on some not all with things like “anything for her” half saying merely that the other half mentioning the other friends just to keep things from getting too “public confession at the airport-y” all these comments got a mix of hearts and standard likes and then
Remember how I said i was worried about her realizing I knew what was going on because of how I found out well When she was with the other guy her relationship status proudly displayed his name. When this whole thing started it was turned off hidden or whatever you call the setting. As of this morning it now officially reads “single “

Later she posted a new profile pic .

My brain just blew a fuse. It’s the most beautiful she’s ever looked I simply could not fathom a word to describe her beauty in this pic

So i-

Posted that in the comments! Yep I flat out said “words cannot describe how beautiful you look “

She gave the comment a heart reaction and replied “Thanks!”

Yesterday so happened to be her birthday So i sent her a bday message containing the following

“ I know you’ve been going through some tough times lately (her mom is sick too so enough “tough times “ were public knowledge without me having reveal anything I knew before it became such) so on your b-day i wanted to make sure someone told you how special you are. You’re an amazing singer, kind, and just fun to be around. You brighten up any room you walk into with your smile + beautiful eyes and i am lucky to know u!”

And her response was thank you and nothing more nothing to indicate wether im getting closer or farther away

That’s whats happened so far i tell her she’s pretty everytime she puts a pic up it gets a like but that’s it so how do I finish the job and win her heart

SensualGirl 10-28-18 02:50 AM

You have control over your effort but not the outcome. Prepare for rejection or being friend zoned, which would simply make you one out of many. You can be happy single or with her. It's an enhancement, not a requirement.

PheonixPhantom 10-28-18 04:18 AM

I get what you’re saying in GENERAL but im missing what you’re saying I should DO are you saying I have no shot regardless or that I should just say im intrested or what just a little confused thanks

xsoullessx 10-28-18 06:17 PM

Hi, Phantom. I don't know if I can help much, I guess I'm not good at advice, but I'm always interested in stories like this because I want it to go well. And I hope it does.

I just wanted to ask something first if it's okay.
Do you usually talk to her? And like did you guys keep in touch after high school and all?

PheonixPhantom 10-28-18 07:39 PM

I talk to her whenever I can and we would comment on each others social media posts every now and again but all this stuff is the most we’ve seen each other in a while but every time we did then and do now see each other she always seems happy to see me I wanted to try something before she met this guy but i was trying to time things a certain way and he beat me to her I kinda repressed that for a while but the memory recently returned I thought she was cute when I first did a show with her in high school but i was with a girl it turned out didn’t appreciate me at all but I couldn’t see that til near the end of senior year i told another high school friend I thought she was cute once and she found out about it but we never discussed it we have been talking on social media a lot more since we started going to these places where her and my other friends band play

xsoullessx 10-28-18 08:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PheonixPhantom (Post 2917058)
I talk to her whenever I can and we would comment on each others social media posts every now and again but all this stuff is the most we’ve seen each other in a while but every time we did then and do now see each other she always seems happy to see me I wanted to try something before she met this guy but i was trying to time things a certain way and he beat me to her I kinda repressed that for a while but the memory recently returned I thought she was cute when I first did a show with her in high school but i was with a girl it turned out didn’t appreciate me at all but I couldn’t see that til near the end of senior year i told another high school friend I thought she was cute once and she found out about it but we never discussed it we have been talking on social media a lot more since we started going to these places where her and my other friends band play

Oh I'm sorry the girl you were with didn't appreciate you.. you deserve better than that.

And well, I think it's good that you've been connecting more, maybe that's what you need before you know you actually like her and if she has any interest in you. If she does, great. If not, that's okay too, I'm sure it would hurt, but like I've read a lot here, you don't need anyone else to be happy :) but if you really want to be with someone, I'm sure you'll find someone who deserves you. Just be careful, keep in mind that it might not work out, but don't lose hope c: Maybe try to know something from your friends in common? If you're comfortable with that, ofc.

I don't really know what else to say, like I've said, I'm not good at this.. I do wish you good luck and hope things work out :) If there's anything else you'd like to ask feel free to do it I don't mind and there are a lot of people here more capable to give you better advise than me. I'll be waiting for updates, tho, if that's okay.

Take care

PheonixPhantom 10-28-18 09:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xsoullessx (Post 2917062)
Oh I'm sorry the girl you were with didn't appreciate you.. you deserve better than that.

And well, I think it's good that you've been connecting more, maybe that's what you need before you know you actually like her and if she has any interest in you. If she does, great. If not, that's okay too, I'm sure it would hurt, but like I've read a lot here, you don't need anyone else to be happy :) but if you really want to be with someone, I'm sure you'll find someone who deserves you. Just be careful, keep in mind that it might not work out, but don't lose hope c: Maybe try to know something from your friends in common? If you're comfortable with that, ofc.

I don't really know what else to say, like I've said, I'm not good at this.. I do wish you good luck and hope things work out :) If there's anything else you'd like to ask feel free to do it I don't mind and there are a lot of people here more capable to give you better advise than me. I'll be waiting for updates, tho, if that's okay.

Take care


I get you i feel I typically know enough about girls and what makes them tick in general but obviously I don’t want to approach this like it’s just any other girl I’ve noticed

Quote:

Maybe try to know something from your friends in common? If you're comfortable with that, ofc.
I am planning something sort of like this soon you’d have to know the friend in question to understand

xsoullessx 10-29-18 06:25 AM

She seems to be special to you, that’s really nice, I hope you’ll be able to do what you’re thinking about doing with the help of that friend.

Part of me wants to just tell you take a chance because you might not have an opportunity again, but I also think that you should be prepared for any outcome, because she might not feel the same. But I hope she does! Good luck with everything 🙂

PheonixPhantom 10-29-18 07:52 AM

If this works as I plan it should be pretty obvious to everyone involved what im doing soon enough

xsoullessx 10-29-18 08:17 AM

It sounds like you have something big planed. What is it, if it’s okay to ask?


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