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SensualGirl 04-13-18 09:14 AM

Avoid People?
 
1. I don't have much in common with most people. I'm different, I'm more philosophical, more alternative, think things through, less conventional. People try to enforce their normalcy rules on me, like trying to get me to be a Christian, stop dressing like a hippie, dress like a normal, plain person, stop using labels, etc.

2. I don't do drama. I choose peace.

3. I don't get anything out of socializing. There's rarely a deep connection formed that would help me on my healing journey. It's usually just meaningless small talk, if not more pain.

4. The thought of being social makes me anxious and filled with angst. I fear there will be irritation and conflict, and that when I try to cut the person off they will suck me back in. I don't think conflicts can be resolved. I don't believe in justice, I think justice for one person is injustice for another.

In life, whenever I tried to resolve a conflict, I would get more and more depressed: the other person would deflect, give me flack, try to be right instead of trying to achieve a resolution, lecture me like I'm a problem child, and if I apologized, it wasn't enough, even if I just wanted an apology from them.

Should I just forget people and move on to a solitary life?

stirfry 04-13-18 02:56 PM

It's certainly okay to avoid getting involved in people's crap and focus on your life, like a stone skipping on the surface of the water. There's always tomorrow if you change your mind for special instances, special people if you choose.

You know, #4 got me remembering news stories, how cruel people were towards criminals when they were arrested -- even if the criminal was extremely mentally ill. You're right, so-called "justice" is often terribly unjust.

InSearchOfPeople 04-14-18 04:30 AM

SensualGirl,

I think, you should keep looking for your "pack", people of your kind, those, that you will feel connection with. They are out there, you will find them, if you keep looking. Don't settle for the ones you described above.

I remember I was writing something similar years ago, when I desperately tried to fit in the crowd that I work with. Someone here or on another forum responded with a story about ugly duckling. You are the swan, don't try to fit in or be accepted by the ducks. They will never understand you, there won't be a connection, always just a small talk.

Keep looking, you can build your own circle. :hug:

tigerlover 04-14-18 01:48 PM

i agree with in search in that way a tribe or some people you feel at ease with can be very positive in that extent that you can build up deeper trust with them so that you can talk about deeper issues in life,not just small talk about how is the weather today etc...
connections are easily made,but easily broken as well sometimes...so building a circle like in search said is worthwhile considering in life to feel good..to the OP i would say this==lead your life as YOU see it and don't give in to what other people tell you or for that matter society imposes on you..everyone is affected by drama==skip it..it leads only to more drama....socializing is O.K as long as you feel O.K with the folks you socialize with..if they get to close into your confort zone then it's time to reconsider their true intentions,some people flatter women just to be into their pants...there is more in life then ordinary sex...if one can build up a more mental aspect in a relation or into a social encounter then it gets more values...a conflict situation raises other conflicts..there is always the fear of retaliation,anxiety or frustration when someone touches your inner sensitive strings...a solitary life is only worthwhile if people are strong enough to lead a solitary life..if you feel O.K with it then go for it,but forgetting about people be they assholes or good folks is not that easy..

EmpatheticThoughts 04-14-18 04:49 PM

Happy Birthday, SensualGirl!!

SensualGirl 04-15-18 04:24 AM

:hug:


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