||04-01-10 05:06 PM
It's been a long, fulfilling day. How do I feel about it?
this is no word (yet) to describe how i feel, so i am going to attempt to explain the wave of emotion:
thoroughly sad; sad to the point of not wanting to eat or talk or move.
proud of myself, for doing something that i only hoped i could do, but didn't really think i could pull it off.
shocked, at how little the professionals actually understood.
sick to my stomach, by how little the professionals actually understood.
ravenous, because i couldn't eat all day due to my GI tract problem and the unavailability of my own always open bathroom.
in physical pain, from my shattered ankle and tight, swollen left leg.
determined, to finish my day just as strong as i started it, with head held high despite other's questions and contempt.
exhausted from all the stress of the day. and, consequently, vulnerable to voices, delusions, fears, and hallucinations. i do feel sort of invincible, like doing some risky and unusual things. like i want to get or start some trouble. i guess i'm mad, too, because i go looking for somebody to fight with when i'm mad.