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dvdwhit81 08-31-09 01:36 AM

Angel Day

Brianna 03/20/1999 - 08/31/2007 "Angels don't always have wings" It's after midnight and I cannot sleep, my thoughts are with you, this is a day I will never forget, I love you and miss you, and I can't wait until we are together again in heaven, I miss your laughter, your smile, your hugs and kisses, the way we used to dance together,swimming in the pool, playing on the beach............I love you
I'm numb right now, I don't know what to say, my wife and I can't sleep, we are just trying to find things to keep ourselves occupied, in just a couple of more hrs, two years ago we woke up to such a terrible tradgedy, I guess we are afraid to go to sleep, I guess we belong to a new club now, those of us who have lost children, it is no fun, but we know what many of you just like oursekves have gone through, my older brother has lost a child, my sister will soon loose two to Huntingtons Disease, no parent should ever have to out live their child, I can feel your pain and suffering, as time goes by it gets easier, but you will never forget, and then there are days when just out of the blue something will trigger your memories right back to the exact moment in time that your life had changed forever, so now everytime I see an accident on the road, an ambulance, a firetruck, an ambulance at a nursing home, a bayflight helicopter, a hearse, I know that someones life is about to change forever, and it is never for the better, and so it goes we must learn to go on, its not easy, but we are still with the living, and people are still depending on us, we can't role over and crawl under the sheets and hide there from this nasty world out there, some days we are merely getting by, just barely functioning as viable human beings, numb to the world and the people around us, people don't understand my sadness or lack of enthusiasm, and I don't know how to explain it to them, unless they walked in my shoes they will never understand and I would not wish my life or lack there of on my worst enemy, I want to be happy again but at the same time I feel guilty that I am undeserving that I could be happy and my little girl is gone it is not fair and it don't make any sense, people try to comfort me and tell me that my daughter would not want me to be unhappy, to just remember the good times, and enjoy the love that she gave us, I do know that because of her I am a better man, a better father and a better husband than I was before. until we meet again my love, daddy misses you, and I love you.

ashesaway 08-31-09 06:04 AM

:frown: dvdwhit81

I couldn't begin to know how you feel,and I will not try to...I don't even have children..never mind lost one.Your love and grief is palpable though..and my thoughts are with you.From the picture I can see She was adorable.Peace for you and your family today..and always


hottea654 10-27-09 08:10 PM

I feel your pain.

The pain will grow less. It seemed like the triggers were everywhere when I had recently lost my child. In time I found I could separate my loss from the lives of other people so I did not suffer constantly from public and private triggers. But sometimes I still struggle in public, caught off guard with my defenses down.

For you in this new place of heart and heatache, your love is more thoughtful and more deliberate then it would have been when you took it for granted. In my life this is the blessing and the cross of having lost somebody so dear and so precious.

Peace to you.

hydiidepressio 11-02-09 03:51 PM

My thoughts are with you.

joanna 11-02-09 04:06 PM

just reading your thread gave me strength....and so may God continue to strengthen you all....
thankyou for sharing this with us


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