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-   -   Avoidant Personality Disorder (https://www.takethislife.com/personality-disorders/avoidant-personality-disorder-277458/)

KateUK 10-08-17 03:30 AM

Avoidant Personality Disorder
 
Described as this:

Avoidant Personality Disorder (avPD) also known as anxious personality disorder is a cluster C personality disorder. Those affected display a pattern of social inhibition, feelings of inadequacy and inferiority, extreme sensitivity to negative evaluation, and avoidance of social interaction despite a strong desire to be close to others.

Does anyone know how to get diagnosed and/or if there is any treatment for this disorder?

I'm convinced I have it and it's ruined my life. I have no contact with anyone. No family, nothing as I'm scared of rejection because I see myself as such a loser. I can't even vocalise what I want to say because I start trembling. I'm so focused on how I come across to other people that I don't even listen to what people are saying.

Thanks.

Watashi 10-08-17 05:00 AM

You can read about it's symptoms on the internet. I'm not sure what you mean by "Does anyone know how to get diagnosed". You can be diagnosed only by a specialist.

I don't know if it's a good idea, but you could visit a psycholog. Not sure if i got APD like you, though i am avoiding people as much as i can and i sometimes can't to "hear" what they r saying. Like i was stucked in my head cuz of the anxiety. My psychiatrist told me that i should see a psycholog and to undergo a therapy. I've never got there, though.

KateUK 10-08-17 06:37 AM

Hi Watashi,

I had CBT earlier this year but nothing was mentioned about a personality disorder but I definitely fit into this category and was wondering if I should be checked by a doctor/specialist and then if I do have this. it might be easier to treat. Sometimes though, I just feel as if I'm doomed and nothing will help. I suppose I should go and see my doctor and see what she says.

Life isn't worth living if you can't connect with anyone even on a basic level. We aren't meant to be isolated but these disorders make life that way. Life is shit and I don't know how to make it better. I don't think some of us can be cured really.

SensualGirl 10-08-17 07:35 AM

Why do you feel the need to label yourself with "avoidant personality disorder?" Maybe you're just shy/anxious.

You don't need a doctor. You just need to face your fear.

https://www.youtube.com/results?sear...ment+pill+fear

KateUK 10-08-17 08:01 AM

Because I've researched and I fit the signs of it? All but one. So I think if these criteria are set by medical experts then I should take note. If I can be diagnosed or recognised with this then it might help me to work through it.

Watashi 10-08-17 08:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SensualGirl (Post 2728090)
Why do you feel the need to label yourself with "avoidant personality disorder?" Maybe you're just shy/anxious.

And maybe not?
.
.

Anyway, hope you'll get better. Just try to remember the times when you weren't so shy. And try to think about why you are so shy. Try to go out among people. Be yourself. Catch your thoughts and say them. Expres how are you feeling. Be happy.:smile:

You seem like quite a smart girl.

KateUK 10-08-17 10:04 AM

Thanks. Just tried to PM you but can't see how right now. I'm reading Russell Brand's new book, Recovery, and it seems quite helpful. Too early at the moment to tell but so far I'm thinking, "Yes", this might work.

Watashi 10-08-17 10:48 AM

Social anxiety is the most common disorder, so u r not alone in this. U've said u have no contact with anyone, even with family. Can you somehow contact them? Don't believe you are a loser. You are a human being. Everyone makes mistakes/failures.

KateUK 10-08-17 11:58 AM

Yeah but the problem we all have (and I bet there's a lot of us who feel inferior) is how do we accept ourselves as we are? I don't even know who I am as I change personality depending on what I think people want from me such is my fear of rejection lol. God I must seem bizarre sometimes.

Watashi 10-08-17 12:06 PM

You Are who you are. Things that are funny to you, things that make you sad, your thoughts, your feelings... that's you. Maybe you are switching your character, depending on a situation, but inside it's still you. You are not anyhow bizzare when you are feeling weird among the others and trying to adapt. A huge percentage of this population feel the same.

KateUK 10-08-17 12:40 PM

It amazes me that you're feeling like a zombie but are kind enough to post replies to a stranger. Thankyou. I'd not thought of it like that before (about who I am). Now I just need to find the confidence to be me - that is the hard bit. Thanks again.

Andino 10-08-17 04:33 PM

Hi Kate,

To have a proper diagnosis you would need to check with a psychologist or psychiatrist, specialists in mood disorders. For this in the UK I think you'd need to chat ith your doctor for a referral. Not necessarily saying "I think I have this", but noting history and how you feel in social situations with examples.

As Watashi says, we adapt ourselves to other people in our lives. This more so when we are not as comfortable in our own being that we change to fit in to how we believe others expect. It takes a braver person to be themselves always.

I can understand the need to know or be diagnosed so that you can understand and work towards "your" solutions. Despite suffering from numerous things since childhood, I didn't seek professional help until a few months ago, and it was among the things I wanted to be a little more certain of - I had read a lot over the years in an attempt to understand, but also missed a few things which I do realize were important (since being on here and others taking the time to listen and suggest - in some parts they were right).

Taking those steps can be daunting, but necessary in heading forward for us - for some it's easier than others to simply take things as they go. But as noted, we are who we are, and others in turn will react to us in their own way, whether we hide things or not.

Certainly you're not alone with this, no more strange or bizarre, unique but with similar traits as others of us.

:hug:

KateUK 10-11-17 04:29 AM

Hi Andino,

I'd be interested to know what the numerous things you were suffering from were and if you worked through them. I;m a bit cynical when it comes to treatment for mental health but am willing to try a different type of therapy. I am going to go back to my doctor to see if I can be referred. I feel like a nuisance but I will do.

It has got so bad that I'm researching suicide methods and have been for the last six months because I don't want to live that way for the rest of my life.

I've just sacked a miserable abrupt, accusing, irritable friend and that has made me feel better. And I've reconnected with an old friend again who makes me feel good when we chat on the phone. I think feeling connected and wanted/useful/respected goes a long way in helping with depression. No point being on meds, going to therapy if at the end of the day we feel alone.

Watashi 10-11-17 08:38 AM

People are feeling shy because they are not sure if they are good enough for the others. Don't feel bad. It doesn't matter who you are, on the outside (it doesn't matter if you are shy, lonely...) You are who you are. Accept it. Try to understand yourself.

Andino 10-11-17 09:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KateUK (Post 2730866)
Hi Andino,

I'd be interested to know what the numerous things you were suffering from were and if you worked through them. I;m a bit cynical when it comes to treatment for mental health but am willing to try a different type of therapy. I am going to go back to my doctor to see if I can be referred. I feel like a nuisance but I will do.

It has got so bad that I'm researching suicide methods and have been for the last six months because I don't want to live that way for the rest of my life.

I've just sacked a miserable abrupt, accusing, irritable friend and that has made me feel better. And I've reconnected with an old friend again who makes me feel good when we chat on the phone. I think feeling connected and wanted/useful/respected goes a long way in helping with depression. No point being on meds, going to therapy if at the end of the day we feel alone.

Hi Kate,

I don't know about working through my problems, I would prefer to say I live with them, as the current triggers are ongoing situations in my life (my childhood abuses I no longer worry much about, as I moved far away).

I started to write here about myself, but it's not correct that I do so in your thread, so I have written with more detail in my journal (this post) for you.

I am very cynical about therapy and psychologists, I'm not built to accept their way of thinking. My psychiatrist is much better, and he said medications for some time and then perhaps psychotherapy.

I feel it's very important to be able to feel comfortable with the person you are talking with, and that's why talking hasn't been good for me until this psychiatrist that I do trust.

I still feel alone, not useful or respected, which yes I do think are needed for battling depression, but that's natural, it's self esteem.

You've made a great step in taking a person that is negative around you and replacing with a positive in your life. That is worth far more than any medication (in its own way it's a medication, it's therapy). I've found it's important though not to rely on just the one person though - if that person is not around when you need them, or tires of you, you need more support around you.

And that's why I like it here. To listen and help each other, when some of us don't have help at hand and need the support. It's necessary.

I've a habit of longer posts, which I apologize for - I hope I'm understood in all though, and you can talk about or ask whatever you like.

KateUK 10-28-17 11:29 AM

I am so sorry, I've just seen these replies. Thankyou both and I will go and look at your post.


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