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-   -   issues about anger,anxiety,low self esteem,depression etc.. (https://www.takethislife.com/anxiety/issues-about-anger-anxiety-low-self-277386/)

tigerlover 10-05-17 06:17 AM

issues about anger,anxiety,low self esteem,depression etc..
O.K..I do see a lot of self conflict or conflicts in relationships,family matters,self loathing,lack of confidence in most of the postings..therefore i wanna start a discussion here about the why?why not?coping mechanisms,solutions etc...feel free to enter this thread and say what you have to say.....anger for me is often an emotional feeling I mostly cannot get directly under control..I have been angry at people,in an abusive relationship towards an ex partner,angry at myself etc,anger showed me more self insight because I looked for solutions,I am against venting anger since I think it intensifies things,I bottled up and thats not an answer either,if we look at the reasons why anger feelings start we often come to a conflict within our self,I bet anger is doublefaced..can tears release anger?I doubt it?I easily cry and I often think that it releases a stress on me,does anger relief creates optimism?I think anger can be very negative or destructive if a solution is not found and turns into a self rage,I can be irritated if my pc does not start of works,in a traffic jam etc..I noticed often in myself an anger if I turn into my 20% mood as I call it ..then I blurt out or lash out with words which is not a perfect issue either..we all get angry sometimes,I get angry at the world and the things which go wrong and feel helpless against:rolleyes:I often think life is pointless since we cannot change or do anything which brings a real change and often I don't care because it seems like an endless circle

tigerlover 10-05-17 06:26 AM

sometimes in my life i felt useless,worthless,prone to stress situations..
i bet all of us go through periods in our life circle that we are full of doubt about ourself,others,the world..stress is a main factor for bodily and mental problems..how do we handle it?fight it?anger in a way can be difficult to control,especially if we bottle it up..that bubble will burts one fine day.i do like honesty..people who beat around the bush usually will pay a price for it later in life..perfection does not exist..that's why some of us feel useless..and turn themselves away from the world they are forced to live in..I did,by the way..and i am glad to say that leading a loners life..gave me insight..not only in myself,but also towards the world,other people..and in that aspect it reduced my stress factors..

tigerlover 10-05-17 06:36 AM

about stress,anxiety...


tigerlover 10-05-17 06:54 AM

i believe anger is very often seen as being a frustration,an upset,a worry,a problem so how do we cope with anger?what do we do with it?how do we see ourself in that situation?how does it affect our way of thinking?how do we react to it?can we simply ignore angry feelings and act like...Oh...one ear in..the other one out?me personally i can't..I brood on it,act upon it,think on it?suppose person X tells me am an idiot,an asshole..if i feel offended and i react to it,then the attacker in question will release a counter attack..if my answer is NOT strong enough..he/she will use my weakness to create a personal victory..do you see how trolls and bullies prey their victims..they provoke?and wait for a counter attack..we should maybe learn to control answering an angry attack by avoiding it,ignoring it..if the attacker feels that we do not respond to it,then finally they will try somewhere else...i was a victim of an attack in a big forum...few people commented on one of my postings..they did not agree with my opinions,others followed..
escalation of words..they formed a clique mentality..and said they were gonna hunt me down in a posse(ahah)i reacted my own way..I took the whole thing as a joke and made them feel more ridicilous then they already were..finally things got settled...we smoked a peace pipe...and one of my she attackers...became a good forum friend for years..that's long ago..more then 10 years now..i believe a good word if we are able to phrase it in a correct way?can be a big boost up sometimes...we call it moral support..

SensualGirl 10-05-17 07:33 AM

I think the best way to deal with difficult people is to write them off. Set up healthy boundaries, don't allow negative people in. I believe people will test you to see what they can get away with. That's one of the things I don't like about people. I think we teach people how to treat us. We must be missed. Our absence must be felt. I just got rid of my best friend of 16 years who I have known since our high school days due to his verbal abuse. He learned his lesson no doubt. Maybe he will think twice before "just being honest" with the next friend.

tigerlover 10-05-17 08:11 AM

thanks for the reply,SensualGirl...much appreciated...
in this today world perhaps lots of us have to deal with situations who create social anxiety,fear of getting hurt,humiliation,guilt feelings?we live in a world nowadays where we have to face difficult situations,take decisions etc.i went to a gig few weeks ago where i met Ingrid again..her friend Anne is in bad shape...I met Anne 2 years ago,i do not know how she got herself to that party?since she told me she suffered from a combination of OCD,borderline,bipolar and social anxiety...she lives with her parents and her only affection is towards her dog(a German shepherd)her parents do her shopping because she's afraid to leave the house..i reckon it must be terrible to live in constant anxiety of being judged,looked down upon...i do not know what triggers these conditions,but to be honest..i cannot imagine living like this?now Ingrid told me her condition is not getting much better=she's on tranquilizers etc...it's very difficult to reach these kind of folks because they block themselves...is social anxiety just a feeling of being anxious,depressive,being or feeling judged in a derogatory way?when i was younger i got judged a lot and looked down upon,but it never went to extremes..i had a period of mild paranoia and mayby social anxiety perhaps?somehow i think some people are afraid to meet new people in their life because they fear judgment the fear of being watched or judged by unknown people can easily develop in an anxiety or panic attack..my ex U.K girlfriend had a history of mental trouble and suffered several panic attacks..it affected her life in situations like work,social activities,she took medication and she got more or less better...what triggers anxiety,fear?is it created in our younger years?our education?anything else...now listen here..I am not a therapist or a psychologist..that's for trained people...i can only say i developped a huge interest in how the human mind reacts in different situations..very often people refer to start taking alcohol,substance abuse because they think it reduces the symptoms..i bet therapy and treatment must be the answer,even hypnosis maybe...this condition or a combination of them is so vast and very difficult to treat..it creates trauma..is it maybe a fear of feeling rejected,judged,humiliated,looked down upon by others?me myself always had a fear of failure..going for my motorbike driving test got me nuts...I got sacked 3 times..when i was about 16 i was rather shy but i opened up during my disco years after 18..i will go further into this subject...if you got any remarks==feel free to post them.

tigerlover 10-05-17 12:58 PM

let me tell you all about stress...it often leads to anxiety,anger,being restless..
in my opinion stress is a factor which we all go through in life..I had my fair share of it really..there is good stress and bad stress..so?what causes stress?what are the factors,symptoms?how do we deal with the good stress which keeps us going in life?how and why do we lose it?and how do we deal with distress?
which can give us emotional unrest,anxiety,unhealty life?
when i was a coalminer i did go through daily stress for years..because the job was dangerous,unhealthy..and i never knew what i had to do until i got to the nightshift reporting chamber..it was different,sometimes an easy job and sometimes very stressful..one day i witnessed an accident in front of my eyes..i was down for days after that..we had to change heavy machinery on the system where the coal comes from the head gallery(where they cut the coal directly with a huge scraping machine)a mechanic had to drill a rusty bolt away which got stuck and difficult to remove..the whole heavy system was held up with hydraulic tools=don't know the English name..at the certain moment when that dude was flat down drilling in a very confined narrow space situation..the holding stuff gave way and he got stuck with his head..big panic and stress..we managed to free him,put him on the belt and warned the security services to come and pick him up..he was bleeding out of his ears...so a direct brain injury..we all knew we lost him..he was taken to clinic and died few hours later..I used to know him very well..
28 years old,a wife and 2 kids..a joker,always positive..his name was Romain..
stress for me is a factor which worries me..i love life as i live it..and i see so many people in stressful mode..why?since this topic is a very wide field..I do hope to hear a lot of answers from you all..i have been fighting stress for years..it can be helpfull to know HOW we deal?or can deal with stress..yeah..solitary distraction or finding ways to distract?to me distraction means finding a way NOT to get bored...
I might booze,listen to music,get onto my computer,lookup something in google,
send a message or talk to someone via messenger..as long as i can draw the line that all these things are not putting more pressure on me and really control my life minute to minute..how do we cope to eliminate unwanted feelings,emotions out of our daily system?let's discuss..i often think that we need distraction because we feel anxious,frustrated,emotional about things out of our past which really troubled us...my past was not very positive when i was younger,even later on i was drawn into an abusive relationship...how did i cope?I am a dude who goes for life..I don't give up...never...i did 2 things==music was one of them..I am a music freak..it uplifts my spirits on daily basis..secondly..I was always a traveller..I have seen part of this world,talked to people,but in a way i still stayed a loner..even while travelling..nowadays i go to gigs=raves,techno,dubstep,psy trance,flowerpower gigs..it's an outlet..to distract..i started a travel blog in 2006 in a forum where i wrote down all what happened to me starting from 1970 up till today..writing down something helps to trigger certain emotions..it improved my self worth and mental stability,but still the mind is weak and often i slipped back in thoughts i do not want to be there..what i noticed when i got upset is the fact that i always was ruminating over negative events in my life..I know for lots of folks it will create voices,uncertain emotions...unwanted stuff..i think brooding over an issue affects our ways of thinking and inflicts depression..i guess often my self esteem went down the drain and i could not directly cope..some folks go into therapy..i never did..I started investigating and analysing myself=the why's?wherefor??the how's?i was looking for answers within myself,not necessarrily on internet like google,wiki or forum discussions.. i think a way to distract is to value our own talents..we ALL got them..i used to be a front driver for motorbike trips,mostly 1 day trips to the Ardennes..a hilly regio of Belgium..I drove groups up to 25 bikes behind me...it gave me the sense and feeling i was doing a positive thing..I was the leader...people saw me as something valuable..it boosted up my self confidence..nowadays i only drive shopping trips..I stopped intensive motorcycle driving..but oh well..speeding at 90miles an hour overtaking faster cars..it gives me still a kick...I know i am risking a traffic penalty..but that kick overtakes my thoughts and wins every time..i used to have 2 cats..i talked to them..they gave me distraction(ahah)they are both gone,but nowadays i got a stray cat which i call Ellie...she comes into my living room occasionally..she knows she will get food or milk...luvly cat she is.....i often get confused about myself,the world,my connections in life..I would suggest to folks who feel like that...simply download the virus that's in your head, to another location....replace it with a positive issue..you will notice that it helps..

Andino 10-05-17 03:40 PM

Interesting to hear your thoughts tigerlover.

All our experiences, good and bad, make us what we are. The difficulty for the mind to separate what stays in there, what is thought about for an unknown time afterwards, too many of us have difficulty in.

I always think having a release is important - physical (sports, anything moving) or mental (talking) - and distractions. Music and my motorbike are important to me - my bike is broken since June because somebody tried to steal it (the ignition is damaged, I cannot afford the parts to fix it). A ten minute ride after work always helped with stress, walking I just get hot or cold and tired, bothered.

I passed through Belgium sometimes but I never rode in Europe. Someday I will hopefully make a tour by bike.

tigerlover 10-05-17 04:14 PM

Hey Andino...
Nice to hear of you as well...you're a big help and support what this forum is concerned..you really know what you're saying and writing down..what's wrong with your motorbike?I reckon the roads in Peru are not always highways
(ahah)motorbiking for me is a release of stress..i drove 82.000kms on my first bike,crashed it in 1999,and replaced it with my present one on which i have driven 78.000kms so far since 2005..both are Suzuki AN 400cc...on a summers day i sometimes drive on my own to the Ardennes or even to the Eifel regio(Germany)i love the kick of that wind under my helmet...I love hairpin bends,and speeding on the highway..i got 3 penalties for speeding..picture of my iron horse on a trip towards spring cherry blossoms(ah)


tigerlover 10-05-17 04:30 PM

O.K..the key point in life are dilemma's...who am i?what should i do?
I know lots of friends who have a problem with that issue..they can't decide who they are in reality..
I call it an identity crisis sometimes..i have been there..a crisis needs a solution..
I walked that road..tbh..it's a difficult issue to say=you're a loner and at the other hand you wanna go out in the world and socialize?is it boredom?or just realizing isolation or reclusion is not the ultimate answer?i tell you what i honestly think==too much socialising is not good for a loner..and i will stay a LONER..
and too much of being a loner leads or can lead?to questioning who we are?and finding coping mechanisms?it's a personal decision..I choose the cameleon way..i know when and how to socialise..but basically i am an 90% loner..and nobody can convince me to think otherwise..I feel O.K the way i am..any thoughts on that,peeps?

Andino 10-05-17 08:11 PM

Hey tl,

Thank you for your kind words - I think everyone comes here for a reason and if someone needs to be listened to...

My bike, for four years I parked in same place near my work, safe area no problems. On my birthday (of all days) a heavy rain, somebody tried to take it. Put something, maybe a screwdriver(?) in the ignition trying to force it. Failed but broke something so my key does not go in. It's a Honda 250cc, I so miss riding.

Of the dilemma, loners are more likely to be thinkers, for good or bad. I am a loner and prefer the company of only a few persons when and where necessary. To me it should not be a problem, but we are expected to be social creatures and comfortable being so. This is where mental health and anxieties are misunderstood, taboo and stigmatized.

My view is always that a person should be able to be comfortable being who they want to be without judgement from others, aside from when they enforce their own views upon others (ie judging others themselves).

This of course means you should also be allowed to be mainly a loner as you desire. The best version of you is the one that is comfortable in the situations you want to be in.

tigerlover 10-06-17 02:15 AM

right...musical mood for me..thinking mood=why is it?that people often get into a mood that either makes them happy or unhappy?is life such a circle of events we cannot control?i reckon all of us feel either good or less good in a given daily situation we often have no grip on ourself..they call it the circle of life...we have to make and determine life as we shape it ourself..it is very often a sense of willpower we have to create and feel within our own mind..I had my battles in life and i was always able to make that fist who told me==you are who you are..do not change..but stay WHO you are..and i did...although i must say it's not always easy..i am a free spirit positive thinker...I say what's upon my liver..like it or not..but i will never intentionally hurt anyone in her/his values in life...for that fact life is to precious...my life is giving and taking...very often i realised giving is better then taking..the giver often gets a good feeling within when he can say...I gave..I did not take...i am a rebel against unjustice in this world..and i will stay a rebel until i die...i wish you all LOTS of willpower...learn to make a fist to everything what upsets you...i bet willpower is a force we ALL need in life..life==what you make it,my friends..

tigerlover 10-06-17 05:15 AM

O.K...internet addiction==this is not a simple issue to discuss...what drives us into the internet?in my opinion the internet or an addiction to it can be positive or negative..any addiction has got side affects which we cannot control..
because..well..yes..it's the addiction..if life sucks?is internet addiction the real anwser?I doubt it..to give you an example..I know somebody here in my rave circle of friends..he is on internet from morning until evening..even while working he can't sometimes leave his smartphone alone..why..is it the attention,the kick,curiousity,then follows lack of sleep,no interest in direct social issues exept internet related stuff like you tubes,porn,e mailing etc..i love internet and i am addicted to it for a couple of positive reasons==it's educative,i find out about what's going on in the world which is not always positive(ahah)i used to run a happiness thread in a psychedelic forum and ask people their opinion on life and how to obtain an inner good feeling,not always internet related..but internet gave me the reason to profile my vision on lots of stuff..be it music,friendships,relationships, sex,mental and health issues,travel,tourism..I found these things very interesting,distracting..facebook is a great social medium as well which brings people together,forums the same thing,wikipedia,google search engines bring us knowledge,we do not need to go to a library like in the old days..so that's not a life sucking issue..if life sucks we go for the questions,the why,why not and we seek an answer,a solution..do we find it on the internet..perhaps yes..but very often the more advice we consult the more confused we get,because some answers often contradict eachother in terms of religious,psychological or philosopical issues..I must try to find more inspiration about positive benificial sides of internet use..internet can also have negative issues like bullying,loosing your real self etc..P.S..I am an internet addict

tigerlover 10-06-17 05:51 AM

ah yeah..so...how do we cope with it?modern technology and computer age made us addictive to lots of things..modern life has created stress in a lot of us...we can't cope...life is too hectic..it becomes a problem if an addiction starts ruling your life 24h/24hwe must try ways to find time for ourselves outside thataddictive behaviour..addictions can lead us into stress,confusion,anxiety and guilt feelings..i am addicted to a lot of things...but...I can get an enormous kick driving my motorbike at hig speed on a highwayor for that matter dance my arse away on a rave,either in open air or in a dancehall..addiction is just a term which has got to do with our habits...if we got the willpower to control these(bad?)habits..i bet then we find another us..we have to learn to self analyse ourself and say==this is the limit...I do not cross it..not easy..but try anyway..

tigerlover 10-06-17 06:10 AM

I am very direct in my opinions,postings...but..i do hope you get my point..
addictions..the everlasting question==do i go to far into it?
i am not a nicotine smoker,but i can understand folks who have a crave for it..
a cig can be a release of tension,just like booze,sex,porn,weed or any other stuff..
if we become addicts to internet,machines,games..then we become machines ourselves..ANYTHING exaggerated is bad for our body and mind..point is?how do we control our limits?i grew up in an alcoholic family..in my teen years..I did not see anything else..I thought i was going the wrong way..booze was fun..friends,disco,getting drunk etc..
in my twenties i got sick of seeing my Dad killing his mind with alcohol..too fuckin bad for him really..i went on the road in 1970 and travelled all over until 1975..India overland twice,Europe,West Africa..got married in 77 to an Indian belle..married for 31 years..coalmine..still LOTS of travelling..my wife died in 2008..I found her dead on the couch..she did not gave any sign at all..heart failure..i was a zombie for 1 month,not depressive really..but i lost my lust for life..in 2012 i started going to rave parties..a new addiction=music,the happy smiling peeps,weed,booze again..nowadays i must say i drink,but i am not an addict as such,i watch porn,and i do like the ladies..I feel great..i am like anyone else addicted to internet,not to television,cellphones,games..i think too much of internet is harmful..the moment we feel bad without a cellphone in our hand?when internet starts to rule our daily existence...we all know we cannot escape the www vibes..in all..if i look back at my life..I can say..it was worthwhile living it..and it still is..one fine day..just like anyone else..I'll depart to the eternal hunting fields..i'll meet you all at the corner..and be waiting for some of you..we'll have a chat(ahah)wishing you all the best with addiction or no addictions..
we SHAPE our own life..i always liked to be honest and to the point in what i am saying..
i never beat around the bush,so to speak..

tigerlover 10-11-17 06:06 AM

in my own opinion a good sense of humour is a must in life...a good laugh always has lifted me up in darker days when i lost myself in a bit less positive mood?i am VERY sensitive to words,i hate direct insults or bad words,people who intentionally hurt others with words or actions are so frustrated about themselves sometimes..
life must be lived...I got this crazy tattoo put on my left upper arm which says **if you love the life you live,you will live a life of love**i always tried to love my life,but sometimes it was not so easy really,we all go through good and bad moments in life,fact is life can be a struggle sometimes...i always have been crazy about cats and tigers...i found them very postive and wise animals...my cat Ella pays me a visit from times to times,she can be moody as well at times,cats lead their own life,and are very different then dogs==you cant put 8 cats in front of a sledge to pull it? http://imagizer.imageshack.us/v2/800...911/3Yq4LM.jpg

tigerlover 10-11-17 08:11 AM

i reckon a cigarette addiction is not such an easy thing to deal with..
ANY addiction is wrong if we exaggerate it,or have a struggle to get rid of it..
i wll never judge anyone about her/his addictions...i will if they get very harmfull towards themselves and to others...let me tell you all this about fags...a cigarette addiction can be very intense and very difficult to get rid off..
i will never tell anyone to quit smoking abruptly..it's not possible at all..
reducing the amount is possible,but mostly an heavy addicted smoker will do her/his best to do so..but will easily relapse to what amount they smoked before..i was a heavy smoker in my teen years=the non filter type of fags=over here we had brands like Johnson Blue,Green Michel,Gauloise,Belga,Bastos,Camel etc..i stopped smoking at age 19..funny enough it involved a bet for a crat of beer..we were funny dudes in my teen years..they asked me=if you can not smoke for 1 month..you'll get a crat of beer..it was only the fact that they could control that in the pub or disco..but i really dedicated my willpower to stop,because my Dad smoked more the 1 packet a day..he was coughing like a dog whole day and night(ah)my friends used to tease me..want a cig?at that moment the craving is mostly the worst..since then i NEVER smoked a fag anymore up till today..no..I am lying..I smoked a fag few years ago to tease my ex U.K girl friend..she was a heavy smoker..although she had COPD..she could never stop..patch,sticker,chewing gum etc..nothing helpedit's bloody hard to quit smoking if one is really addicted to it..it's perhaps unhealthy..but there are so many things which are unhealthy..I am from the generation sex,drugs and rock and roll..i do smoke weed occasionally..I buy few grams and smoke it at home..on gigs or raves friends offer me to puff along..i am never gonna be a weed addict..i tolerate smokers,drug users etc..because i am not very to the point myself...I am certainly not a saint..i do not judge..i mean..I do not see harm in fags on condition you do not smoke 1 packet a day..unless one starts having lung problems etc..coughing..the craving for a fag is too difficult to withstand in my opinion..i think it's a stress relief factor for lots of people,me reckons?and also the adrenaline/dopamine factor perhaps?


Brainstorm 04-17-18 01:53 AM

You are fine the way you are :)

Well, Mark Hollis from Talk Talk was addicted to heroin for a while, so there you go?
Ever listened to their "Spiirit of Eden" album? Amazing work.

tigerlover 04-17-18 06:18 AM

Thanks for your input in my thread,brainstorm...about Talk Talk i know this album Spirit of Eden(1988)I listened to 2 tracks only=desire and the rainbow..i did not know that Hollis was on heroin,i like their music because i find it different music with long instrumental intros almost like space rock...my thread went about anxiety,anger etc...for me there are 3 things in life which make me cope with myself,others and the world==music,travelling and sex..not necessarily in that order(ahah)there are other important things as well in my list of living the way i see life....

tigerlover 06-11-18 07:17 AM

don't we all get angry sometimes???and how do we deal with our anger??
the reason why i get angry at myself or others=i hate injustice and as a matter of fact i feel powerless to fight it,some people find themself in a depression and the result is anger,even suicidal thinking:eek: other people get angry in order to gain control over certain situations in their life,it can develop into a superiority complex because we see everybody else as a feeling of getting at us to manipulate,dominate or bully us?if anger becomes a negative issue then we have to try to eliminate that negativity because it can lead to pessimism or even depression..let me tell you how i deal with my anger==in the first place i feel the symptoms within myself==distrust,insecurity etc...do i get angry because i cannot control a situation in my life?anger aimed at myself for being powerless in a given situation may intermingle with anger at someone elses anger as a way to achieve the very power i do lack,if i recognize someone's anger i try to find a reason for their anger and i try to discuss it with them without causing harm,because that would even increase their anger feelings...
answering anger with my own anger would only have very negative effects in my opinion,is it not?anger got a reason,a trigger issue which makes us angry in the first place and very often we cannot deal with it,maybe a therapist knows the answer?i often have been at daggers with my gf because we had different points of view on philosophy or psychological issues about ourselves...but i am a fellow who can admit...oh...i was wrong,sorry it hurted your feelings and an apology is welcome then..we should all learn to express our anger into words,not easy,but it is do-able..fear is often a deeper way of feeling or getting angry...the one who fears is in turmoil with her/his own mind and way of thinking..anger is an emotion just like pain/suffering/joy or pleasure...so we have to find solutions...this is my 2 cents on anger..maybe you agree or disagree...i am looking forward to read your answers...:smile:

tigerlover 06-18-18 03:30 AM

We all hear inner voices in life...point is how to control them...


tigerlover 06-18-18 03:48 AM

what's happiness?


SensualGirl 06-18-18 11:19 PM

Very nice, TL. Thanks for sharing and caring.:hug:

tigerlover 06-25-18 08:02 AM

Talking about anger,depression or anxiety is not as simple as we think..if everyone could just be listening and not judging negatively..
then life would be so much better..if anyone thinks she/he is obese and her/his world is often concentrated on her/himself,
how others see them,the self blame,the self pity..we all should learn to accept anger,depression etc..
as it is for the person concerned,doing something about it is another thing...
if people show respect and understanding to one another,then they will get respect back....


stirfry 07-01-18 11:16 AM

What great posters these are! I especially like the 1st.

tigerlover 07-28-18 06:50 AM

i reckon we all get issues about anger...lately i found myself very pensive for some reason...
i do not feel lonely,neither alone,and maybe my label focuses on loner/hedonism
loneliness is an emotion,but being alone is a choice..it's more a way of looking at things..
if i consider to be in control of my own emotions,then that's a virtue indeed,
if i am not it becomes a burden,a vice,a turmoil...
i talked to people in my life who cannot deal with being alone,seek interaction with the wrong people etc...
and turn back into loneliness,repressed anger issues,a personal disgust about how this world treats their ego,
stopping a negative emotion is only possible if you go 100% for it,either yourself or with the help of someone else for that matter..
bottom line is that a lot of people do not ask themselves why they feel lonely or alone...
it's a personal choice..why we wanna be on our own?if we don't want to be lonely or alone?
then it stays an issue to take into consideration and explore within our mind...
a complicated world or mindset only occurs if we make it difficult or endanger it ourselves,
if i can enter a given situation which troubles me and i look at it with a calm and clear mind,
then i consider that a solution to a better life,contentment and honest feelings..
i feel O.K as a loner...I consider it as my personal freedom...
and i lived like this for many years..and probably will do so until i leave for the eternal hunting fields:smile:

tigerlover 10-28-18 08:39 AM

i came back into my thread about anger==we all undergo bouts of anger...no exeption...
sometimes i got angry at myself because i dropped or broke a glass which slipped out of my hand or i tilted it...
i feel stupid then with a certain mild kind of anger at myself..
usually when i get bit angry at myself i become very pensive and i try to find out the reason why i got anger...
a broken glass is only a mere glass,nothing more==we can replace broken material things,but what about emotional anger?
that's not so easy to repair or forget?we can shove it aside and consider it a temporary issue which many of us face in daily life..
it becomes bit more intense if we start ruminating about anger..
me being pensive results often in not being able to what i say to others,usually later on i feel guilt..
it's probably an OCD matter..anger control is not such an easy matter to handle...
i know friends who get agressive out of the blue..the slightest wrong words turns them into an agressive rage,often with words..
i try to look into myself why i got angry...in a lot of cases it's my own silly behaviour..:hiding:
a link on anger issues== https://www.psychguides.com/guides/a...s-and-effects/

SensualGirl 10-28-18 07:43 PM

Good points, tigerlover. I find my anger has decreased by lowering my expectations.

tigerlover 10-29-18 03:38 AM

Good point as well about expectations,it brings us in the issues and boundaries of pessimism versus optimism..
if you have great expectations,you think something good will come your way,
but if keep your expectations low,you won't risk being disappointed,is it not?
if i expect people to be nice towards me,i should be nice to myself in the first place and set my boundaries,
some people promise a lot and are often afraid to say no,
that can lead to frustrations sometimes because other will see it as a weakness?
all of us got strong and weak points in our character,
if i set my boundaries clear and know who i am or who i am not?
then i enter self investigation and sometimes expect from people what they never will be able to give?
or not give?do i need other people to respect who i am,wanna be?or will be?
i often think and experienced that some folks will only love you as much as they can use your loyalty,willpower,support..
their loyalty often ends when they don't see the benefits for them anymore...
i would state that we should not blame people for dissapointing us,
but i would blame myself for not respecting their issues or expecting things from them they never can manage or meet regarding life standards,
all i expect for myself should be contentment for myself and trying to give contentment towards the people i love,
big task maybe sometimes,but it is certainly worth the effort:smile:


tigerlover 11-20-18 06:57 AM

We all get angry sometimes without exeption,point is we enter our conflict zone and often express anger towards ourself?
or towards others,even society?very often anger issues develop into a situation of guilt,resentment,remorse,depression...
what can we do about it?how do we gain control over it?
is it trying to get into a state of self relaxation,a feeling of counter acting towards anger,frustration and resentment...
i think this is a good link... also check out the A-Z list of personal skills....looks interesting to me..


SensualGirl 11-20-18 05:20 PM

I find that I get angry when especially when I'm tired, like the article you linked noted. I get angry intrusive thoughts, as you all probably know. I deal with it through positive self talk. I experimented with meditation, mantras, as I've mentioned, but that was kinda boring.:rolleyes: Now I love thinking!

"Being alone is the closest thing to heaven." -Martin Butler

tigerlover 01-15-19 07:43 AM

in our life we all suffer or go through mental/bodily pain...just as we go through mental/bodily pleasure...it's part of our being,our life...nobody escapes the turmoil of pain/suffering and all of us can look at pain/pleasure in a different way..dealing with mental pain is not that easy when it comes to anxiety,anger...


H8PPLNDGS 01-26-19 07:55 PM

That was hypnagogic. It just felt like watching Santa giving a simple yet very insightful lecture. Anyway, it was nice of you to share that link for all.

tigerlover 04-15-19 10:12 AM

some people can listen,others just don't care...


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