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-   -   issues about anger,anxiety,low self esteem,depression etc.. (https://www.takethislife.com/anxiety/issues-about-anger-anxiety-low-self-277386/)

tigerlover 10-05-17 07:17 AM

issues about anger,anxiety,low self esteem,depression etc..
O.K..I do see a lot of self conflict or conflicts in relationships,family matters,self loathing,lack of confidence in most of the postings..therefore i wanna start a discussion here about the why?why not?coping mechanisms,solutions etc...feel free to enter this thread and say what you have to say.....anger for me is often an emotional feeling I mostly cannot get directly under control..I have been angry at people,in an abusive relationship towards an ex partner,angry at myself etc,anger showed me more self insight because I looked for solutions,I am against venting anger since I think it intensifies things,I bottled up and thats not an answer either,if we look at the reasons why anger feelings start we often come to a conflict within our self,I bet anger is doublefaced..can tears release anger?I doubt it?I easily cry and I often think that it releases a stress on me,does anger relief creates optimism?I think anger can be very negative or destructive if a solution is not found and turns into a self rage,I can be irritated if my pc does not start of works,in a traffic jam etc..I noticed often in myself an anger if I turn into my 20% mood as I call it ..then I blurt out or lash out with words which is not a perfect issue either..we all get angry sometimes,I get angry at the world and the things which go wrong and feel helpless against:rolleyes:I often think life is pointless since we cannot change or do anything which brings a real change and often I don't care because it seems like an endless circle

tigerlover 10-05-17 07:26 AM

sometimes in my life i felt useless,worthless,prone to stress situations..
i bet all of us go through periods in our life circle that we are full of doubt about ourself,others,the world..stress is a main factor for bodily and mental problems..how do we handle it?fight it?anger in a way can be difficult to control,especially if we bottle it up..that bubble will burts one fine day.i do like honesty..people who beat around the bush usually will pay a price for it later in life..perfection does not exist..that's why some of us feel useless..and turn themselves away from the world they are forced to live in..I did,by the way..and i am glad to say that leading a loners life..gave me insight..not only in myself,but also towards the world,other people..and in that aspect it reduced my stress factors..

tigerlover 10-05-17 07:36 AM

about stress,anxiety...


tigerlover 10-05-17 07:54 AM

i believe anger is very often seen as being a frustration,an upset,a worry,a problem so how do we cope with anger?what do we do with it?how do we see ourself in that situation?how does it affect our way of thinking?how do we react to it?can we simply ignore angry feelings and act like...Oh...one ear in..the other one out?me personally i can't..I brood on it,act upon it,think on it?suppose person X tells me am an idiot,an asshole..if i feel offended and i react to it,then the attacker in question will release a counter attack..if my answer is NOT strong enough..he/she will use my weakness to create a personal victory..do you see how trolls and bullies prey their victims..they provoke?and wait for a counter attack..we should maybe learn to control answering an angry attack by avoiding it,ignoring it..if the attacker feels that we do not respond to it,then finally they will try somewhere else...i was a victim of an attack in a big forum...few people commented on one of my postings..they did not agree with my opinions,others followed..
escalation of words..they formed a clique mentality..and said they were gonna hunt me down in a posse(ahah)i reacted my own way..I took the whole thing as a joke and made them feel more ridicilous then they already were..finally things got settled...we smoked a peace pipe...and one of my she attackers...became a good forum friend for years..that's long ago..more then 10 years now..i believe a good word if we are able to phrase it in a correct way?can be a big boost up sometimes...we call it moral support..

SensualGirl 10-05-17 08:33 AM

I think the best way to deal with difficult people is to write them off. Set up healthy boundaries, don't allow negative people in. I believe people will test you to see what they can get away with. That's one of the things I don't like about people. I think we teach people how to treat us. We must be missed. Our absence must be felt. I just got rid of my best friend of 16 years who I have known since our high school days due to his verbal abuse. He learned his lesson no doubt. Maybe he will think twice before "just being honest" with the next friend.

tigerlover 10-05-17 09:11 AM

thanks for the reply,SensualGirl...much appreciated...
in this today world perhaps lots of us have to deal with situations who create social anxiety,fear of getting hurt,humiliation,guilt feelings?we live in a world nowadays where we have to face difficult situations,take decisions etc.i went to a gig few weeks ago where i met Ingrid again..her friend Anne is in bad shape...I met Anne 2 years ago,i do not know how she got herself to that party?since she told me she suffered from a combination of OCD,borderline,bipolar and social anxiety...she lives with her parents and her only affection is towards her dog(a German shepherd)her parents do her shopping because she's afraid to leave the house..i reckon it must be terrible to live in constant anxiety of being judged,looked down upon...i do not know what triggers these conditions,but to be honest..i cannot imagine living like this?now Ingrid told me her condition is not getting much better=she's on tranquilizers etc...it's very difficult to reach these kind of folks because they block themselves...is social anxiety just a feeling of being anxious,depressive,being or feeling judged in a derogatory way?when i was younger i got judged a lot and looked down upon,but it never went to extremes..i had a period of mild paranoia and mayby social anxiety perhaps?somehow i think some people are afraid to meet new people in their life because they fear judgment the fear of being watched or judged by unknown people can easily develop in an anxiety or panic attack..my ex U.K girlfriend had a history of mental trouble and suffered several panic attacks..it affected her life in situations like work,social activities,she took medication and she got more or less better...what triggers anxiety,fear?is it created in our younger years?our education?anything else...now listen here..I am not a therapist or a psychologist..that's for trained people...i can only say i developped a huge interest in how the human mind reacts in different situations..very often people refer to start taking alcohol,substance abuse because they think it reduces the symptoms..i bet therapy and treatment must be the answer,even hypnosis maybe...this condition or a combination of them is so vast and very difficult to treat..it creates trauma..is it maybe a fear of feeling rejected,judged,humiliated,looked down upon by others?me myself always had a fear of failure..going for my motorbike driving test got me nuts...I got sacked 3 times..when i was about 16 i was rather shy but i opened up during my disco years after 18..i will go further into this subject...if you got any remarks==feel free to post them.

tigerlover 10-05-17 01:58 PM

let me tell you all about stress...it often leads to anxiety,anger,being restless..
in my opinion stress is a factor which we all go through in life..I had my fair share of it really..there is good stress and bad stress..so?what causes stress?what are the factors,symptoms?how do we deal with the good stress which keeps us going in life?how and why do we lose it?and how do we deal with distress?
which can give us emotional unrest,anxiety,unhealty life?
when i was a coalminer i did go through daily stress for years..because the job was dangerous,unhealthy..and i never knew what i had to do until i got to the nightshift reporting chamber..it was different,sometimes an easy job and sometimes very stressful..one day i witnessed an accident in front of my eyes..i was down for days after that..we had to change heavy machinery on the system where the coal comes from the head gallery(where they cut the coal directly with a huge scraping machine)a mechanic had to drill a rusty bolt away which got stuck and difficult to remove..the whole heavy system was held up with hydraulic tools=don't know the English name..at the certain moment when that dude was flat down drilling in a very confined narrow space situation..the holding stuff gave way and he got stuck with his head..big panic and stress..we managed to free him,put him on the belt and warned the security services to come and pick him up..he was bleeding out of his ears...so a direct brain injury..we all knew we lost him..he was taken to clinic and died few hours later..I used to know him very well..
28 years old,a wife and 2 kids..a joker,always positive..his name was Romain..
stress for me is a factor which worries me..i love life as i live it..and i see so many people in stressful mode..why?since this topic is a very wide field..I do hope to hear a lot of answers from you all..i have been fighting stress for years..it can be helpfull to know HOW we deal?or can deal with stress..yeah..solitary distraction or finding ways to distract?to me distraction means finding a way NOT to get bored...
I might booze,listen to music,get onto my computer,lookup something in google,
send a message or talk to someone via messenger..as long as i can draw the line that all these things are not putting more pressure on me and really control my life minute to minute..how do we cope to eliminate unwanted feelings,emotions out of our daily system?let's discuss..i often think that we need distraction because we feel anxious,frustrated,emotional about things out of our past which really troubled us...my past was not very positive when i was younger,even later on i was drawn into an abusive relationship...how did i cope?I am a dude who goes for life..I don't give up...never...i did 2 things==music was one of them..I am a music freak..it uplifts my spirits on daily basis..secondly..I was always a traveller..I have seen part of this world,talked to people,but in a way i still stayed a loner..even while travelling..nowadays i go to gigs=raves,techno,dubstep,psy trance,flowerpower gigs..it's an outlet..to distract..i started a travel blog in 2006 in a forum where i wrote down all what happened to me starting from 1970 up till today..writing down something helps to trigger certain emotions..it improved my self worth and mental stability,but still the mind is weak and often i slipped back in thoughts i do not want to be there..what i noticed when i got upset is the fact that i always was ruminating over negative events in my life..I know for lots of folks it will create voices,uncertain emotions...unwanted stuff..i think brooding over an issue affects our ways of thinking and inflicts depression..i guess often my self esteem went down the drain and i could not directly cope..some folks go into therapy..i never did..I started investigating and analysing myself=the why's?wherefor??the how's?i was looking for answers within myself,not necessarrily on internet like google,wiki or forum discussions.. i think a way to distract is to value our own talents..we ALL got them..i used to be a front driver for motorbike trips,mostly 1 day trips to the Ardennes..a hilly regio of Belgium..I drove groups up to 25 bikes behind me...it gave me the sense and feeling i was doing a positive thing..I was the leader...people saw me as something valuable..it boosted up my self confidence..nowadays i only drive shopping trips..I stopped intensive motorcycle driving..but oh well..speeding at 90miles an hour overtaking faster cars..it gives me still a kick...I know i am risking a traffic penalty..but that kick overtakes my thoughts and wins every time..i used to have 2 cats..i talked to them..they gave me distraction(ahah)they are both gone,but nowadays i got a stray cat which i call Ellie...she comes into my living room occasionally..she knows she will get food or milk...luvly cat she is.....i often get confused about myself,the world,my connections in life..I would suggest to folks who feel like that...simply download the virus that's in your head, to another location....replace it with a positive issue..you will notice that it helps..

Andino 10-05-17 04:40 PM

Interesting to hear your thoughts tigerlover.

All our experiences, good and bad, make us what we are. The difficulty for the mind to separate what stays in there, what is thought about for an unknown time afterwards, too many of us have difficulty in.

I always think having a release is important - physical (sports, anything moving) or mental (talking) - and distractions. Music and my motorbike are important to me - my bike is broken since June because somebody tried to steal it (the ignition is damaged, I cannot afford the parts to fix it). A ten minute ride after work always helped with stress, walking I just get hot or cold and tired, bothered.

I passed through Belgium sometimes but I never rode in Europe. Someday I will hopefully make a tour by bike.

tigerlover 10-05-17 05:14 PM

Hey Andino...
Nice to hear of you as well...you're a big help and support what this forum is concerned..you really know what you're saying and writing down..what's wrong with your motorbike?I reckon the roads in Peru are not always highways
(ahah)motorbiking for me is a release of stress..i drove 82.000kms on my first bike,crashed it in 1999,and replaced it with my present one on which i have driven 78.000kms so far since 2005..both are Suzuki AN 400cc...on a summers day i sometimes drive on my own to the Ardennes or even to the Eifel regio(Germany)i love the kick of that wind under my helmet...I love hairpin bends,and speeding on the highway..i got 3 penalties for speeding..picture of my iron horse on a trip towards spring cherry blossoms(ah)


tigerlover 10-05-17 05:30 PM

O.K..the key point in life are dilemma's...who am i?what should i do?
I know lots of friends who have a problem with that issue..they can't decide who they are in reality..
I call it an identity crisis sometimes..i have been there..a crisis needs a solution..
I walked that road..tbh..it's a difficult issue to say=you're a loner and at the other hand you wanna go out in the world and socialize?is it boredom?or just realizing isolation or reclusion is not the ultimate answer?i tell you what i honestly think==too much socialising is not good for a loner..and i will stay a LONER..
and too much of being a loner leads or can lead?to questioning who we are?and finding coping mechanisms?it's a personal decision..I choose the cameleon way..i know when and how to socialise..but basically i am an 90% loner..and nobody can convince me to think otherwise..I feel O.K the way i am..any thoughts on that,peeps?

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