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Wastinglight98 06-11-17 05:37 PM

Woman trouble I guess idk
 
Alright, I guess this story needs some background. Back in December I began talking to this girl who goes to the same college as me. For about three weeks we got on extremely well and were flirting back and forth and it just felt like we both really fancied eachother. But then suddenly in January she just vanishes, stops replying to my texts and generally has fuck all more to do with me. And it really hurt me to be honest, I lost my confidence in talking to women and haven't really had much to do with them since. But then last week arrives and I get given a job at a restaurant. And it turns out so did she. So the fast 3 or 4 days we began talking again, and once again we were flirting a lot and getting on extremely well. Until today, when without any explanation she stops replying to my texts. I'm really worried it's going to happen again, because of how similar it feels and how much it hurt last time. I really want to keep talking to her, but at this point I feel like she feels she can treat me like shit and make me really doubt my own worth, and still have me around when she needs someone. Does anyone have any advice for this, like is this fixable at all or should I just give up on her?

Black Sheep 06-13-17 05:06 PM

don't waste your time. If she's attractive, I can guarantee she's flirting with tons of other guys. That's just how it is. Women have the luxury of being choosers, not chasers. Talk to other girls. Don't get tunnel vision.

Wastinglight98 06-13-17 07:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Black Sheep (Post 2661298)
don't waste your time. If she's attractive, I can guarantee she's flirting with tons of other guys. That's just how it is. Women have the luxury of being choosers, not chasers. Talk to other girls. Don't get tunnel vision.

Idk, from what I see the girl always ends up doing more chasing than the guy. I just feel like there must be nothing about me worth chasing since this kind of thing always happens with no explanation.

But yeah, I guess you're right.

lucid lunacy 06-13-17 09:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wastinglight98 (Post 2661458)
Idk, from what I see the girl always ends up doing more chasing than the guy. I just feel like there must be nothing about me worth chasing since this kind of thing always happens with no explanation.

But yeah, I guess you're right.

Perhaps it's time to ask her how she feels about you. At least you'll get your answer from the horse's mouth and know where you stand from there. Seems like a better option than to either losing sleep due to the anticipation of being "dumped" or regret what could have been. At least you'll know and be able to move on if need be or it'll be the start of something new.

Maybe she's naturally flirtatious, maybe she's waiting for you to take the first step; we can't really know from here. It's something you pick up on through body language and the likes.

Wastinglight98 06-14-17 11:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lucid lunacy (Post 2661586)
Perhaps it's time to ask her how she feels about you. At least you'll get your answer from the horse's mouth and know where you stand from there. Seems like a better option than to either losing sleep due to the anticipation of being "dumped" or regret what could have been. At least you'll know and be able to move on if need be or it'll be the start of something new.

Maybe she's naturally flirtatious, maybe she's waiting for you to take the first step; we can't really know from here. It's something you pick up on through body language and the likes.

Yeah I did that. Or not that but I texted her saying hey anyway. Either way she totally ignored it.

So I guess I have my answer.

Mazed 06-14-17 01:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wastinglight98 (Post 2659882)
Alright, I guess this story needs some background. Back in December I began talking to this girl who goes to the same college as me. For about three weeks we got on extremely well and were flirting back and forth and it just felt like we both really fancied eachother. But then suddenly in January she just vanishes, stops replying to my texts and generally has fuck all more to do with me. And it really hurt me to be honest, I lost my confidence in talking to women and haven't really had much to do with them since. But then last week arrives and I get given a job at a restaurant. And it turns out so did she. So the fast 3 or 4 days we began talking again, and once again we were flirting a lot and getting on extremely well. Until today, when without any explanation she stops replying to my texts. I'm really worried it's going to happen again, because of how similar it feels and how much it hurt last time. I really want to keep talking to her, but at this point I feel like she feels she can treat me like shit and make me really doubt my own worth, and still have me around when she needs someone. Does anyone have any advice for this, like is this fixable at all or should I just give up on her?

Maybe talk less. Give her space. Let her guide the conversations some. Consider if you've said something, or implied something. Logically, she is okay with you (twice as you have indicated) until you give her something (or not) that she doesn't appreciate. Remain friendly, but let her drive for a while and try to see where it is she wants to go.

For some of us, all we need do to end a relationship is open our mouths.

Wastinglight98 06-14-17 02:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mazed (Post 2662242)
Maybe talk less. Give her space. Let her guide the conversations some. Consider if you've said something, or implied something. Logically, she is okay with you (twice as you have indicated) until you give her something (or not) that she doesn't appreciate. Remain friendly, but let her drive for a while and try to see where it is she wants to go.

For some of us, all we need do to end a relationship is open our mouths.

I wish that was how it worked here man. I did do that for the few days last week when we were talking again, and she was constantly saying making comments about how cute or good looking she thinks I am. She even said "I wouldn't trust drunk me around drunk you, although I always say whatever happens happens ;)" so I don't see what else I was supposed to read into it. I've never made any inappropriate comments to her, I was never sleazy to her. She just stopped replying, never showed any signs of not liking what I was saying. I just don't understand what went wrong.

Black Sheep 06-14-17 03:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wastinglight98 (Post 2662218)
Yeah I did that. Or not that but I texted her saying hey anyway. Either way she totally ignored it.

So I guess I have my answer.

I don't mean to sound harsh, but I think it's pretty clear she's not interested if she completely ignores your texts. If she considered you significant, she would've replied much more quickly... At least within a couple days. The only exception is if she's on vacation or something.

I don't recommend telling her how you feel. Save yourself the embarrassment. You can talk to other girls and still keep her on the back burner.

Wastinglight98 06-14-17 04:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Black Sheep (Post 2662258)
I don't mean to sound harsh, but I think it's pretty clear she's not interested if she completely ignores your texts. If she considered you significant, she would've replied much more quickly... At least within a couple days. The only exception is if she's on vacation or something.

I don't recommend telling her how you feel. Save yourself the embarrassment. You can talk to other girls and still keep her on the back burner.

Yeah I know, tbh this has turned from me asking for advice to me venting out all my feelings about it. I just wish I could ask her what went wrong. For the time we were talking she was almost too much for me, like she wanted to talk all day everyday more or less, taking every opportunity to flirt. I wish I knew what put her off. Or maybe she was never interested and wanted to boost her ego or make another guy jealous. I dont suppose she'll ever tell me. All I know right now is she's really hurt me.

Yeah trust me, girls dont throw themselves at me, and I'm not a people person. I'd talk to another girl if there was another I could right now.

Black Sheep 06-14-17 07:11 PM

oh, same here. I assumed you had options. My bad.
I know how you feel... I've dealt with a lot of those types and it does hurt. The only thing I can suggest is to try to keep yourself preoccupied with something else. I'm sure you'll have other opportunities.


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