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WomanOfSelfHatred 01-02-17 07:01 AM

I feel fat and disgusting
 
I have been struggling with weight issues my whole life. I am currently at 186 lbs. Because I am 5'2", I qualify as obese on the BMI scale. My heaviest so far was at 220 lbs., and I really don't want to go back there.

As a kid, I ate mostly junk food, especially nachos. I didn't eat vegetables beside corn and potatoes. I have only started to eat more veggies a year and a half ago, and I regret not eating them sooner. I am getting sick of my mom and waitresses at restaurants offering more food than I really need. My former doctor (who I left because he's a quack) told me if I gain any more weight, I will get diabetes. That was years ago, and I still believe him.

I tried everything from exercising to eating less, but I always end up going back to square one. I find it hard to exercise during the winter because it's cold out, and I don't feel like using a treadmill because I'd rather go on actual walks. It also didn't help that I crave unhealthy foods when I am depressed or on my period. And I have little to no metabolism, and I don't know or remember what gives me that anymore.

I am scared that I will get heart disease or diabetes (it didn't help that my stepdad has the latter). My husband likes me the way I am, but I feel differently, even telling him that I am a glutton. All I want is this extra weight to be gone. I have considered in the past getting lipo, taking diet pills, or even buying a weight loss belt, but got talked out of them every time. I feel hopeless because I feel that I am still growing, no matter how little I eat or how much I exercise. I just want to give up now:frown:...

Ghalifinacus 01-02-17 02:24 PM

Hi! I'm new. And I relate to you.

You are right. Things are not what they used to be. I hope I can offer some consolation though.

To increase the speed that your metabolism works you need to eat a more varied diet so that the microbes in your stomach can be healthy enough to break down foods faster.
Sometimes it is a genetic thing. I weight almost 200 pounds too. (A close 178;) The way each person is put together is different. I watched a documentary that showcased two identical twins where one was skinny and the other was fat. What caused this was the difference in the bacteria cultures in their stomachs.

This is the link: https://www.google.ca/url?sa=t&rct=j...42059868,d.amc

The body mass index (BMI) is not always correct. Consider the following. Athletes tend to weigh more than their counterparts or people who don't participate in sports or do specific training because of the water retention and the extra weight added by their muscles.

That's all I have to say about that but a word of advice.

Don't skip meals or suppress hunger.

When you skip meals you send a message to your body to store more fat because it fears starvation. It doesn't know when the next time it eats will be. I made the mistake of skipping lunch for years and gained 50 pounds!

hottea654 01-02-17 04:42 PM

Hey, I'm glad to hear of this research and concur with you two entirely about fatness and not being at the magic BMI number almost ever. Even when I was fit and healthy, I often wasn't at the BMI weight that doctors like to see. It has always bothered me somewhat. Since I'm not up in Canada, I was able to do some extra work and found what I think is a link for the same video that you shared, just we can see it in the lower 48. Thanks for offering the video Ghalifinacus!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1rgelijUXPY

Needshelp 01-03-17 09:04 AM

I understand how you feel. I've struggled with weight issues my whole life as well. I recently lost a significant amount of weight, and fear I will end up gaining most of it back. Not that I look good anyway, but I felt a tiny bit better for a little while. I hope you find what you need.

WomanOfSelfHatred 03-09-17 01:43 PM

I still feel fat. I have been given Depakote to mellow me out, but all it did is make me fatter. I am tempted to quit it cold turkey, because I don't like the side effects.


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