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PsychoManiac 10-29-16 11:40 AM

Feel the need to harm all the time
 
Feel the need to harm all the time. Theres not a day that goes by when I dont think of it. Sometimes without any reason I feel the need to cause myself hurt and pain. So much has happened in the past that I should forget and move on. Why people dont understand its a constant reminder all the time. You laugh you joke just to hide how you really feel. It makes it worse as I work in a nursery setting if they knew I thought about self harm my career would be over. I just want to get better then why do I always think about blood and pain

TheOutsider 10-29-16 06:59 PM

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. Just wondering if you see a therapist that could help get a better understanding of what's going on to cause this? Maybe every time the thoughts start creeping into your head, you think about something else? Don't try to block it out of your mind since that requires you to focus on it more but just try to replace the thoughts of self harm with something else?

I'm probably no help in this area, mostly just repeating what I've heard other people mention. Often times our thoughts are out of our control and understanding them and solving the underlying issues is a big part of getting better.

PsychoManiac 10-30-16 08:02 AM

Ive seen many therapists and I dont like the idea of being told what to do so i quit therapy. What else can I do to avoid these thoughts. How can I replace them with something else.

TheOutsider 10-30-16 02:03 PM

Yeah, that's understandable. Therapy seems to be one of those things that works for some but not for others. There are also a lot of people who recommend trying to be very self-aware about when it happens. Do you know of any particular events that seem to trigger these thoughts in your daily life? Maybe next time it happens, try to be aware of what state of mind you were in at the time and what triggered those thoughts and then you'll have to be proactive in those times that you typically start to feel this way to focus your attention on something else, whether it be work or just thinking about other things.

PsychoManiac 11-01-16 05:14 PM

There are things in life that do trigger it but its become a norm of life the need to do it even without any reason.

Lost45 03-21-17 03:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PsychoManiac (Post 2549594)
Feel the need to harm all the time. Theres not a day that goes by when I dont think of it. Sometimes without any reason I feel the need to cause myself hurt and pain. So much has happened in the past that I should forget and move on. Why people dont understand its a constant reminder all the time. You laugh you joke just to hide how you really feel. It makes it worse as I work in a nursery setting if they knew I thought about self harm my career would be over. I just want to get better then why do I always think about blood and pain

I too get the urges to harm myself all the time. My day dreams consist of blood and pain and methods to inflict it on myself. Sometimes for no reason at all I want to feel the pain and draw some blood from my body. Harming myself actually calms me down. The reason is not always there, just the need , the urge. And often I am helpless against it. I do feel guilty about it later on but then I go and do it again because I think I deserve it. Its like this never ending cycle. The urge, the deed , the pain, the blood, the feeling, the guilt and finally you think that you deserve this. That you deserve the pain. And that's all you deserve. Nothing else.

Helping Hand 04-06-17 12:34 PM

PsychoManiac
 
Hi there

I have had the same feelings for years now and what has helped me is writing it down. For example I try to write to explain my actions and most of the time it stops me from going it as when I read it back it puts things into perspective.


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