help with eating disorder?
The past 2-3 weeks have been really bad with my depression, and over the past couple weeks I've developed an eating disorder. The past week-ish I haven't eaten much, and was basically anorexic. One night, I just wasn't really hungry, and over the next maybe 4 days I had no appetite at all. So I didn't eat much then, but then I got my appetite back. But now its worse. One day I decided to eat when I got home, then purge after. So I binge ate, a lot, then tried to purge. But for some reason I couldn't, I stuck my fingers, even a toothbrush down my throat, and I gagged but never threw up. I felt really bad that night, and nauseous. The next day, the same thing happened, I binged but couldn't purge. I felt even worse. Since late last week, I've been binge-eating every day but I haven't even tried to purge over the weekend. I ate a lot for breakfast this morning though, and I have an overwhelming urge to purge, but I know I can't, but I still want to try. I feel so terrible about myself, I feel like a pig, because I know I've been eating way,way too much. I've decided I'm going to continue restricting my diet, like only eating a small(or no) breakfast and small dinner(like last time). My binge-eating is bad though, and I feel like I can barely control my hunger and diet. It makes me feel so terrible and self-conscious about myself. I feel worthless and abnormal. I am seeing a therapist about my depression though. My depression's getting worse every day, and I don't want to get up or do anything.
So yeah, not exactly sure why I'm posting this, I just needed to get this off my chest. Kind of a vent.
Have you considered visiting nutritionist? (pardon spelling if its bad) He can help you with making an adequate diet and beating bulimia (its disorder where person overeats then wants to throw up and feel bad).
You aint a pig, or anything bad you mentioned, you have just gotten a bad disorder (that quite a lot of people have! you aint alone!). Have you talked to your parents maybe?
If talking to them or getting nutritionist isnt an option, then maybe you should consider using some online calories calculator, or some app for phone that does that and try and balance out your calories intake. For instance some overall average would be 2000 for women and 2500 for men, but browse internet for it, based on your activity, gender, weight, and physical activity. And try to limit yourself. Its easier to limit yourself, when you are having data in your head.
I know you will overcome it :hug:
If it doesn't get better I may see a nutritionist.
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