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-   -   The male gaze (https://www.takethislife.com/male-issues/male-gaze-219065/)

Juno 08-29-15 04:15 PM

The male gaze
 
Being attracted to so many women is difficult for me, because I know I will never speak to some of them, let alone have a relationship, yet they are so heartbreakingly beautiful. Sigh. It's difficult sometimes to deal with. No doubt also an overcompensation from my youth, where I was very withdrawn around people in general, not just women.

123Noon321 08-29-15 05:25 PM

Tigers and lions and panthers are beautiful but its not smart collecting them, right?

Yeah beauty is all around us, but, like, we cant have it all. Not sure if i am making much sense now, haha. Well i think when you are single, it doesnt hurt trying. Nothing to lose, of course being careful not to look stupid silly or creepy will always be in the back of mind, but you know, be yourself and walk up to someone.

I am not the good person to advise people on this stuff, haha

Crystal Orb 08-29-15 09:45 PM

Maybe Im not the best at this but I agree with Dr D. You can try talking to women. At first it might be scary but you get used to talking to people . Eventually you might click with someone. If it doesnt work the first time around, try with a different person. There are thousands of people to potentially be able end up with.

Juno 08-29-15 10:08 PM

I'm married so I'm not actively looking for a relationship, but that doesn't make the attraction go away and the thoughts of "what if?" I saw a girl on reddit who broke my heart. I don't know what she's like, and although I would love to contact her just to be friends, I probably won't. There's always the difference between the ideal in your head and the reality of the situation.

XXC 08-29-15 10:18 PM

Maybe if you are thinking "what if" with other women there is something in your marriage you need to work on. Or maybe you aren't happy in your marriage?

Maat 08-29-15 10:42 PM

I agree with XXC the fact you say not "actively" looking for one kinda shows you still are, just not purposely trying for it. and the "probably won't".
And if you're being tempted by people on that site you probably should take a break from it and focus on your wife.

Juno 09-10-15 08:01 PM

I've been married for 15 years and I do need to focus more on my wife. But some of what I am talking about is women who are not available and never will be. That creates a certain kind of sadness.

Maat 09-11-15 06:28 PM

But that's only because you've lost interest/love/respect for your wife.. When you're truly in love with someone you wouldn't really have that. When your love completes you, you don't have that longing void of another chance/another love.

You are disinterested in your wife. Id seriously focus and work on that and maybe even get help for it because it will get worse before you realize it and things like that are sometimes impossible to get back.

Juno 09-02-17 09:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Maat (Post 2284377)
But that's only because you've lost interest/love/respect for your wife.. When you're truly in love with someone you wouldn't really have that. When your love completes you, you don't have that longing void of another chance/another love.

You are disinterested in your wife. Id seriously focus and work on that and maybe even get help for it because it will get worse before you realize it and things like that are sometimes impossible to get back.

:hug:


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