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Shaydar 06-29-06 12:27 PM

My rant of the day
Ok so there is this really creepy married guy by the pool. His wife is out of town and they have an "open" relationship and wants to know if I want to hang out with him. One this guy is twice my age, but I've always had a hard time knowing what to say. I don't want to hurt his feelings (yeah I have no idea why) and at the same time I have the urge just to poke him in the eye. You don't see any single guys hitting on me just the married ones. :roll:

Chris 06-29-06 04:35 PM

Wow, did he come right out and say that they have an "open" relationship? Talk about being forward! Chances are that if he is asking you to spend time with him while his wife is out of town then this isn't the first time he's asked a woman something like this. I'm sure he's heard "no" before and he's obviously still at it, so no isn't too devastating a blow for him. I don't think you need to worry about making him feel bad by saying no. If he is rational, he would probably think you said no because of your moral values and not consider what you may or may not have thought of him as a person.

Shaydar 06-29-06 04:43 PM

It wasn't right away. I started talking to him because he brought his little girl down to swim and my son is around the same age. It came up so casually when we had been talking about his wife and then how she goes out of town. Sadly enough it's pretty common here to have open relationships. :roll: I'm too selfish to share.

irishred 06-29-06 06:16 PM

Ha, what a day in the life of Shay:) I agree - just turn him down politely, smile and wiggle away. It's always good to know somebody lusts after you.

This reminds me of an incident at my gym back in Feb. This guy and I had been friends for nearly a year, working out together and just chatting about his wife, kids, life, etc. He was always encouraging me to "find someone" and not be so single.

Then one day he tells me that I have a great looking a** and that his wife was out of town for 5 days. He said I needed to get ahold of him and we'd have some fun. I kindly (and shockedly, if that's a word) said "no, that's not going to happen" smiled and finished my workout. 3 days later he comes up to me (gym) and scolds me for not calling him. Looking him in the eye, I said "step back and don't ever come near me again."

There is a punch line here....he is 30 years older than me - my dad's age!! Now - hope you are smiling:)

Shaydar 06-30-06 01:48 PM


astorm25 06-30-06 03:37 PM


I'm curious as to how "open" this guys relationship with his wife is since he waited until she was out of town before approaching you. If you're thinking about persuing his offer, you might consider that the misses may be totally unaware of just how open things are. :lol:

Shaydar 06-30-06 08:06 PM

Actually I met his wife. That's thier agreed upon time. :lol: I just don't understand it. Why do I attract married couples?


astorm25 07-01-06 08:21 AM

I wish I had the answer to why we gravitate to certain types or better still, how to avoid becoming involved with those types. It certainly would have made my life far easier! :lol: Actually, I know the reason I tend to pick the partners I do :( ...but I'll leave that for the forum on self-esteem.

Do you think that unconsciously you do not want the committment of a relationship? Or even the underlying expectation to commit when starting to date another single person?

pacman 07-01-06 11:12 AM

Tell you what I KNOW THE ANSWER
People need excitement in there lives. Some people, expectially males look for this excitement in contriversity and what better contriversity the sexuall tentsion. Why do you attract them well probably they think that they would get a good reaction of maybe they think you would be a good freind and help them with thier lonlyness problem . Most likely thou because you are avalible and they like the way you look.

Shaydar 07-01-06 12:11 PM

I'd rather be hit on by the chubby cute guy though :)

Don't take me the wrong way. I woulld never conciously date someone who was married. I did that once but only because I didn't know. He talk about his ex wife and that explained the ring mark to me. He didn't bother to tell me he had gotten remarried. Now I ask to see divorce papers :-P

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