Take This Life - Purpose

I wrote this a couple months and just recorded it on my phone. The lyrics are posted below. I hope you're all doing well.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SQ09mfeayOk

(Intro)

I miss my mommy, I miss my daddy
This dream is a nightmare, why can’t I be happy
I want my mommy, I want my daddy
Depression is back again, why can’t I be happy

(Verse 1)

My loved ones want me to come home - a part of me wants to
A part of me, would rather be alone
I can’t love me, so how can I love you
Demons are chasin me, and I’ma run through em for you
Depression, is huntin me like prey too
But every time I pray, God laughs in my face too
It’s anger, anxiety and ODs
So I snap my fingers, and it’s back to the old me
There’s nothing left, so why the fuck would I fly right
I will kill myself, I’ve already tried twice
I cry nights, it’s too dark to shine bright
I’m leavin the limelight, and I’ma say goodbye like
I wish I was there more, for people that cared for me
You’re just, all too fuckin good for me
Jeremy I love you, but when it’s over and done
Don’t ever let Audrey, know who I was

(Verse 2)

I don’t open up to people, I’d much rather keep to myself
I’m feeling weak, and I guess that I’m not sleeping too well
I’m screamin for help, but you can’t see what I’ve felt
How’s a broken man, gonna break free from this hell
Don’t think you can help me, there’s nothing but bruises
And they say I have a heart, but I don’t know how to use it
I’m not alone, and the truth is
People do love me, but I only know how to lose em
Cold and so lost, heaven’s outta sight
I keep hittin road blocks, man it’s been one hell of a ride
One hell of a life, I’m so mad at the planet
I can’t stand it, it knocked me down - I’m not standin
I hate ya’ll, but really I don’t blame ya’ll
Life is a game, and I can’t pocket the 8-ball
I tried to take a shortcut to peace, was one step from it son
But I came up short, so I’m just left with the cuts

(Verse 3)

I can’t sleep without drinkin, I can’t dream without screamin
At the pearly gates, I only wake when I think that I’m leavin
Or maybe, I’m really bein evicted
The life of an addict, I’m addicted to bein addicted
I need you to listen, my grandma has cancer
I watch her while she fights in this battle
Chemo isn’t helpin, so I smile through sadness
She’s a great person, how the fuck did this happen
I’m trapped, with these demons and pain
My heart needs to break, and depression won’t keep away
That’s my two cents, and you can fuckin keep the change
Man I didn’t think it’d be this way
I still search for peace, cause it hurts to breathe
And even worse to speak, this pain is gonna murder me
It only makes sense, to turn to leave
Cause the only thing I hate, more than the earth is me