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-   -   something im embarressed about... (https://www.takethislife.com/abuse/something-im-embarressed-about-20478/)

Unhappy19UK 02-06-09 05:35 AM

something im embarressed about...
 
when i was between the ages of 7 and 10 at school, i was abused by a teacher of mine, but not in a way that would normally be done.

im not really sure if this was done just to torture me or whether she got a sexual kick out of it, but she used to force me to hold in my wee...

she would not allow me to go to the toilet at all throughout the day and sometimes i would wet myself. she used to make me hold it for hours on end. she would make me stand in the restroom and watch all the other boys relieve themselves and would just make me hold it.

she would make me drink a big glass of water in the morning as soon as i got to school and just watch me squirm at my desk until i wet myself... i'd hold on for up to 6 hours sometimes...

i just needed to tell someone, ive never told anyone about it before and i think its messed me up quite alot :(

silent cry 02-06-09 05:46 AM

:( thats horrible that she did that to you. does she still work at the school?
she shouldnt be allowed to teach




Unhappy19UK 02-06-09 06:06 AM

no she left and moved to india apparently... :(

but it gets worse...

i have infact told one person and that was my cousin, he was 13 at the time and i was 9. i told him the teacher made me hold it all day everyday and wen i was telling him about it he said "its ok, i get a boner when i see someone needing a pee" or something like that...

then later that day he came into the living room where i was doing my homework and he gave me a big glass of coca cola and said "ive brought u a drink" and i had it and said thanks. then he waited next to me, and then i said i was going to the toilet, he said i couldnt. and locked the door. i begged him to let me go but he still said i couldnt. as i was dancing around with my hand on my privates he dropped his trousers and started masturbating in front of me :( he got a sexual kick out of my desperation... but when he finished he just unlocked the door and i ran to the toilet... :( my teacher and my cousin made me hold it...

since then ive never told anyone :(

packyourbags 02-22-09 02:29 AM

omg - this is sick...

but.. why the HELL would YOU be embarrassed? you were ABUSED, and it's not your fault!

omg.. so sick.

seriously, i'd tell someone if i were you. this is sooo fucking wrong.

Unhappy19UK 02-23-09 05:53 AM

i dont know why im embarressed but i just am...

i'd rather just try n leave it in the past, its not really sexual abuse cos i was never touched so i dont think im gonna tell anyone... :(

packyourbags 02-23-09 05:58 AM

sexual abuse is not defined by whether you were touched or not, you know.

and leaving it in the past does not work, these things don't drown untill they are resolved...

please dear.. you have nothing to be ashamed of!
it says nothing about you, but that it happened.

Please!

talk to someone you can trust - be it a parent, a teacher, or even someone you know who might help.

don't let it simmer inside.

Peteofva 02-23-09 06:05 AM

Yeh it's totally disgusting and quite criminal actually. Fucking people! (sorry for the profanity).

It has zero to do with who you are buddy.

Pete

Unhappy19UK 02-23-09 06:07 AM

no this is just too embarressing 4 me :( anyway u read what happpened last time i told someone that i was getting forced to hold it for hours everyday and he did the same thing. ive developed a fetish about it tho, which ive read is what can happen after forced urine retention as a child... i like holding it until i wet myself now... its fucked me up so badly :(

Peteofva 02-23-09 06:10 AM

The whole concept of fetishes is really not something to put too much weight on- there's something bigger behind it that's causing you to focus on it. I believe you'll grow out of it. I say this from my own experiences (and often sickie mind). :) I also know that it's human nature to enjoy "owning" your secrets.

What else is going on with you in your Life?

Pete

Unhappy19UK 02-23-09 07:13 AM

ohhhhh ok...

well, theres some shit goin on in my life at the moment...

i hate my job n hav no friends (well one but dnt get 2 see him often) n no money. im gonna b gettin made redundant from my job soon n then i'll probly b out of wrk 4 ages....

ive been diagnosed as havin anxiety with depression n im takin anti depressants n seein a counsellor n i feel suicidal all the time n i self harm. my social anxiety is gettin worse n im goin 2 the doctor on friday 2 tell him im gettin worse... thats a basic wrap up...


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